I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking. The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I was hoping for a little more from an anti-drug play on Community, but that’s what happens when Troy and Abed get pushed back a little. I’m just not a big fan of Pierce this season. It seems like he used to have some redeeming qualities, but I haven’t seen them in a long, long time. How is he better to have in the group than Chang? Just because it wasn’t one of my favorite episodes didn’t mean it didn’t have some great lines.
“Ain’t no party without drugs.” - Pierce
“Next time you think about drugs think about baseball instead.” - Dean
“Bring it on Bow Wow.” - Chang
And my personal favorite from Chang, “I made you a mix tape. I hope you like Johnny Gill.”


--An outstanding episode of Parks and Rec that may have been its best offering yet. It had moments for everyone in the cast, but it wasn’t going to get any better than Ron and Andy bonding.
“You had me at meat tornado.” - Swanson
"Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thingy here and it says you could have network connectivity issues." - Andy
"Give it up everybody for Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap.” - Leslie
“My body is a microchip.” - Chris
And I’m not sure which two words made me laugh more, “Stop. Pooping.” Or “Religious oligarchy.” Hilarious episode that kind of made the flu look fun. I mean who doesn’t like it when suddenly the floor and wall switch?

--As much as I love anything Darren Aronofsky has ever touched (particularly Rachel Weisz) it took me way too long to see Black Swan. Natalie Portman was freakin' incredible and the hyperbole about her performance really is justified. Mila Kunis and crazy mom Barbara Hershey were pretty damn good too. Like you might expect from Aronofsky the story isn't linear as much as it is a scattershot to your normal movie viewing mind hitting it in all different places. Most importantly effectively hitting those places of crazy, beauty, fantasy, suspense, intensity, reality and Natalie Portman touching herself, which I believe five more minutes of would make this a shoo-in for Best Picture.


--I’d like to thank The Office for putting David Brent at the beginning of the show so I didn’t have to pay attention to the rest of it. I mean they have no idea what they’re doing with Andy, right?

--30 Rock referenced Charles Widmore, gave Robert DeNiro his best lines in years and Liz and Tracy rocked "Uptown Girl." Win.

--Tim Bradley and Devon Alexander didn't live up to the hype unless you were hyped to see headbutts. Lots and lots of headbutts. Either way if we get Bradley vs. Khan and Maidana vs. Alexander we should get the 140 pound division back on the right track.

--If you have not watched Restrepo I highly recommend you do. It’s on Netflix Watch Instantly and the National Geographic Channel has aired it periodically including Wednesday at 7 central. Hard to imagine how this doesn’t win the Best Documentary Oscar.

--You lost me at Walgreens’ store brand beer. Although $2.99 for a sixer of Big Flats 1901 is tough to beat, but I never want to know how it tastes.

--Interesting (and by interesting I mean disgusting) article on Salon on just what levels of gross the FDA allows certain foods to contain before they’ll do anything about it. Ummm, they only step in on popcorn if rodent hair is found on more than 50% of the subsamples? Can’t we cut that in half? Average of more than 2,500 aphids per 10 grams of hops? If you don’t know aphids are basically plant lice. Yum.

--I don't care if he's beating nobodies and never will be's, the fact that Herschel Walker at age 48 is winning MMA fights is damn impressive.

--At this point I’m not sure exactly who hasn’t already or isn’t scheduled to guest on No Ordinary Family. But Lucy Lawless is set to appear.

--Finally caught up on Californication, but I don't know why. Carla Gugino and Addison Timlin can keep me around for only so long. Rob Lowe, well, he should just stick with Parks.

--Only three players have had multipe 20 point/20 rebound games. You probably guessed Kevin Love first and yeah, he's done it seven. Dwight Howard - three times. Who's done it five times?....The lovable, huggable Zach Randolph.

--I’d like to thank Craig T. Nelson for turning down Jay’s role on Modern Family allowing Ed O’Neill to claim his rightful throne. Poor Craig T. Nelson felt “disrespected” by the money he was being offered for it. I may have written this before, but I’ll never forget what an a-hole he was on Stevens and Pruett years ago. If memory serves he hung up on them, but not in the cool way interview guests hang up on morning shows like Bob Huggins used to do with John and Lance.

--If you were wondering Team USA finished 10th at the Bocuse d'Or. Denmark, Sweden and Norway took home 1st, 2nd and 3rd respectively. Team USA hopes to do better next year when guys like James Kent get the boot and up and coming restaurateurs like Flavor Flav get an opportunity. Get up, get, get down. Bocuse d'Or is a joke in yo town.


--In something that sounds like it could have happened at Greendale Community College...A math professor at Cal State Northridge was charged with two misdemeanors of urinating in a public place. That public place being the door of a fellow math professor. They actually caught him on tape, which is to say he had been relieving himself on his colleague's door so often that they actually set up a camera to see who was responsible.

--Lea Michele your "America the Beautiful" singer at the Super Bowl. Something wrong with following up the last football game of the season with an episode of Glee. I mean isn't the spot after the Super Bowl for promoting new shows or quality ones that just need a little viewership? Last time I checked Glee wasn't lacking in viewers, just in quality.

Not sure where this is going, but I'm willing to hang around to find out.

Questions, comments or if you were totally gonna do the marathon, but you thought it was next weekend, not this one...