I hope she'll say, "Hey me and you should hit the hay!" I asked her out she said, "No way!"

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--And with that we blow out the candle lighting the House of Batiatus. It was a worthy prequel to Blood and Sand and it made you want to start the next season immediately. Instead we have a long wait until we can pick up where we left off with Spartacus, Doctore, Lucretia, Crixus and Gannicus. Entombing Tullius inside the arena he was responsible for building was the sort of inspired murder we’ve come to expect from the show. The rift between Solonius and Batiatus was the type of scheming we’ve come to expect from those two and both played it beautifully while they watched their gladiators battle. Asher’s a bastard, no doubt, but damn Crixus that was cold blooded. Unless you hate blood, sex, beheadings, sex, gore, sex, graphic violence and sex then I don’t see how you could hate either Spartacus season. Well done Starz.


--I don’t even know if they still make Fiddle Faddle, but seeing a box of it in Abed’s room in last week’s Community brought back some fattening, sticky, impossible to brush off your teeth memories. I didn’t realize until I saw Sepinwall’s review that Abed’s Secret Service girl was Eliza Coupe from the last season of Scrubs.
I would pay $40 on PPV to watch Troy “Butt Soup” Barnes and Abed provide coverage during the next presidential election night.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go figure out what notches to keep track of on my desk.

--Every week after its open I think Perfect Couples isn’t so bad and then I continue to watch and it’s not so bad, it’s just not so good. It’s an okay, uncomplicated buffer after Community and before you hope Office doesn’t totally suck. Which it did last week and oh joy six episodes of The Office this Thursday night.

--It was as if The Academy Awards got James Franco and Anne Hathaway to co-host. No one would set those two up on a date, much less ask them to host an awards show together. They’re complete opposites and made the humorless show awkward for everybody. Bad from beginning to middle to end. I don’t even know what to say about Kirk Douglas. Can we like not have Gwyneth Paltrow sing again? Ever. King’s Speech got Best Director? I haven’t seen it, but there was only one choice for Best Director to me. Darren Aronofsky. But what do you expect? Christopher Nolan couldn't even get a nomination.
And dammit how do I know which of the people in the "In Memoriam" montage to care about if you mute the applause from the audience? I guess Prayer of the Rollerboys wasn’t worth making Corey Haim because they didn’t include you despite a helluva lot of quality work even beyond Blown Away.
Mila Kunis looked fantastic and you know she did because she’s on Worst Dressed on Chron.com. On opposite ends of the age spectrum, but on that hot spectrum are Jennifer Lawrence and Helen Mirren.


--Bill Maher’s producer is blowing it if he or she doesn’t book Charlie Sheen, Darren Daulton and The Ultimate Warrior on the same panel.

--Drunk of the Week comes to us from Minnesota. That’s where 21-year-old Cory Mogen got drunked up enough to where he was starving. So doing what needed to be done, at that point, he decided to break into a Pizza Hut and make himself some wings. Police found him before he could fry himself up a batch or even have a pizza. On the plus side he still has his health.

--I’m down with any show or web series like this where someone says, “Be honest with me. Am I being too David Chang?”


--How will In-N-Out change the world in Dallas in a couple months? Here’s where you click to find out. Also a nice history lesson on In-N-Out.

--Fajita Burger at Ninfa’s on Navigation looks f’n fantastic.

--I don’t do sodas except for Sprite Zero, but I’m down with Daft Punk Coke.

--March = LCD Soundsystem. April = Sleigh Bells. May = Donald Glover/Childish Gambino. Hell yeah.

--Ummmm…

I highly recommend avoiding PaulaDeenRidingThings.com.

--In life isn’t fair news…Donal Logue is in a House this week and not a Terriers.

--If you were planning a trip to London around this, well sorry. They’re not selling breast milk ice cream any longer.

--Josh Holloway/Sawyer from Lost in the Community season finale?! Out-standing!

I'd rather have Sawyer on V helping Juliet out with those damn lizards.

--You do what you gotta do to get customers in the door. What you don’t do is what Nickolas Galiatsatos did and that’s get caught planting mice in your competitors’ pizzerias. And by “planting mice” I mean putting mice in a plastic bag and tossing that into the restroom trashcan. He did it at one place and the owner figured it out before the guy had barely crossed the street to another pizza place. Unfortunately for Nickolas and his new, failing pizza place a couple of cops were at the first restaurant and merely followed him across the street to watch him do it again. Although an animal cruelty charge seems a bit harsh because what mouse wouldn’t want to be dropped off at a pizzeria?

--AMC will re-run the entire first season of The Walking Dead this Friday night so if you need a zombie fix there ya go.
Or maybe you’d rather get your zombie fix via this story from an Oklahoma animal shelter where because of overcrowding and illness several puppies were euthanized and tossed in the trash bin. The next day an animal control officer checked the bin and there was one of the puppies alive as he could be. They named him Wall-E although practically being born in family blood like that is asking for it to be named Dexter. I can’t even imagine the puppy nightmares that dog is going to have.

--The next cast of Top Chef Masters has already been announced. It looks like an entirely new cast though some faces may be familiar like Chef Tio from Next Iron Chef. Kelly Choi, Jay Rayner and Gael Greene are all out of the show with an Australian chef now taking over hosting duties. Ruth Reichl also now in. Christina Hendricks as a guest judge works for me.

--You kids and your fancy new drugs for out-of-body experiences. And what a surprise it’s a popular drug at raves.

--Wondering what’s going on with James Van Der Beek? Well, he’s in Ke$ha’s new video so things are going just fine obviously.

--IFC renewed The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. IFC makes logical decisions.

--Kevin Love now has four 30-20 games this season. The last guy to have that many in one season? Shaq, 10 years ago.

--Weeds returns June 27th. Adjust your apathy accordingly.

--Dwight Gooden on Celebrity Rehab? A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away he was f’n incredible to watch pitch.


--My dad is currently the greatest dad a son could ever ask for so it figures that he’d have the greatest birthday party a son could ever attend. It was at Joystix, a place I meant to go to at least a dozen times, but never had. We rented the place for the party and I’m pretty sure walking down aisles of video games from the 80’s and 90’s is like walking down the aisles of heaven. Track & Field? Hell yeah, where’s my comb? Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace and that 3-D Sega game whose name escapes me, but those were all free unlike the $1 they used to cost to play.

They still aren’t worth playing, but they are still pretty to look at. No Discs of Tron, but regular Tron was fun enough though I couldn’t get past 5 lightcycles. NBA Showtime with Charles and Dream or Kobe and Shaq. NFL Blitz with the Tennessee Oilers or an insane Cowboys team that had the triplets plus Deion Sanders. Ikari Warriors 3, a personal favorite of mine and my dad’s. A few variations of Golden Tee which never gets old to me or my uncles. Rolling Thunder, Mappy, Missile Command, Marble Madness, Zaxxon, Ms. Pac-Man, Baby Pac-Man, all the Donkey Kongs, Jousts, Street Fighters, etc. What I’m saying is it's not Iowa, it's Joystix.

You don't want none of this when it comes to hurdles.

Questions, comments or if it’s just starting to hit you that you’re getting married this weekend…