Everybody's Rapping Like It's A Commercial

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--God bless Tatum O'Neal and her increasingly priceless quotes regarding her crack-ish ways. First there was the whole "it's for a role" defense. Now we're getting closer to the real truth, you know, she likes crack. Not there yet, but the NY Post has this quote from the greatest female pitcher of our era. Tatum: "I lost my Scottish terrier, Lena. That seemed to set me off. She got old. She got cancer. She was the fabric of our family. We had to let her go to heaven." So in addition to "for a role," "because my dog died" are now acceptable excuses to buy crack....at least for crackheads those excuses work.

--Reason #235 to stay alive: the thought of beer heaven containing only Miller Lite.

--Gina Gershon and Bill Clinton?!

--I just wanna Dance...Dance...Dance...

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--Thankfully I think we're done with the horrificly (sp?) long run of Cuba Gooding Jr./MJ Hanes commercials. What do we have to do retire that ugly woman from Planter's showing up in every single commercial break?

--The Television Critics Association has come out with its list of nominees for 2008 and it's damn strong. Program of the Year features John Adams which was great if you were trying to get to sleep. Mad Men was the best new show I saw. I love Friday Night Lights, but the season ended in the middle of the season so...Lost is Lost so it wins for me. Can we not get Maggie Grace back on?

The Wire and The War is also up and I've never seen either. I will get The Wire Season 1 and begin my journey this summer though. Outstanding Achievement in Comedy is another tough choice and may as well be my DVR list as that honor is between The Office, 30 Rock, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and The Bill Engvall Show (yeah, right). But my winner is the nominee known as Flight of the Conchords. Unfortunately we have to wait until next year for more Jemaine, Bret and Murray. Colbert has zero competition in Individual Achievement in Comedy with two 30 Rockers, Christina Applegate and something about a Reaper. Connie Britton from FNL is a nice nominee in Individual Achievement in Drama. Glenn Close was damn good in Damages.

--Some choices in life are easier (Taco Cabana or Taco Bell) than others (cabernet or merlot tonight). Nelva Deeke of Nebraska faced an incredibly easy choice after winning an ESPN contest. She could either get an all expenses paid trip to this past Rose Bowl or the College Gameday boys would visit her for lunch. Let's see on the one hand I can get the hell outta Nebraska and head to California without spending a dime. On the other hand I can stay in Nebraska. Yeah, tough choice. She chose lunch with Corso and company at a local restaurant saying that there was no point in having a big BBQ cause only 50 people live in her town anyway. She did get a limo ride out of it so yeah, she has that going for her.

--If you're looking Inside the NFL next season (and I know you won't be) it'll be on Showtime.

--"Well f*** me gently with a chainsaw." July 1st Heathers is getting a two-disc 20th anniversary DVD.


--Anyone else fall off the couch when Lisa told Stephanie and Richard: "I know you guys are upset Antonia is leaving, but a 'congratulations' woulda been a little bit nice."
As Richard aptly said, "What did you expect? You've won the f'n bronze medal way to go." Gotta love Top Chef, but how Lisa made it this far is beyond me.

--Really Joe Simpson? You can do for Tony Romo and Jessica what you "did" for Ashlee and Pete's wedding? Gee, I can't imagine you were the real reason Tony and Jessica broke up in the first place. It can't be because you say stuff like, "Jessica never tries to be sexy. … She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!"

--Werner Herzog is doing a Bad Lieutenant remake with Nicolas Cage in the role disgustingly yet brilliantly played by Harvey Keitel.

--I was not aware that before he became a doctor J.D. earned a degree from Bristol University.


--Jimmy Smits joining Dexter?!

--Hell's Kitchen should not in any way, shape, or form have a winner this season.

--If you just lost your fiance in a tragic crane collapse and a baseball player offered you money because he and his wife were touched by your story don't you accept the money 100 times out of 100 offers? Janine Belcastro decided to turn down Ryan Church. Her fiance, Don Leo, was the crane operator who died in that New York crane collapse last week. She said, "Don was a die-hard Yankee fan. It would not respect his memory if he accepted this." WOW! Insert emoticon with buggin' out eyes here!

Questions, comments, or if you just grab 'em in the biscuits...