Lookin' for a girl, I ran into a guy, his name was MCA. I said 'Howdy,' he said 'Hi.'
Baby Steps
It may not be pretty or dominating, but a win is a win is a win and the Astros have three straight. Hard to get a series win when you only score five runs in three games, but that’s how bad the Cubs are. The Braves aren’t much better apparently. Ugly wins count as much as pretty ones and if the ‘Stros are going to do something before Roger Clemens arrives and while Roy Oswalt is on the DL it isn’t going to be awe inspiring. And that’s okay it just needs to end up under the W column.
--Lance Berkman has overtaken Brad Ausmus for the team lead in batting average. Big Puma is at .308 tied for 16th best while Bad Brad is 30th in the NL at .296. Of course, household name Pirate Freddy Sanchez leads the NL at .349. Joe Mauer’s .379 leads the AL followed by Ichiro’s .362. In June Ichiro is 19-33 (.576)
--Houston’s team average of .254 is the same as the Cubs and better only than the Padres’ .253 in the NL. Surprisingly the ‘Stros are only 8th in most strikeouts in the NL.
--This weekend Octavio Dotel begins rehab assignments in the Yankees’ minor league system.
--You probably need to know what Livan Hernandez thinks about the World Cup: "I think the Brazilian team is too strong everywhere. The defense and the people that play up front are too fast for the other teams. The other teams better play good defense because Brazil can run. The only thing they do in Brazil is play soccer."
I completely agree and Ronaldhino will be named MVP or MOP or whatever their term is for it.
--The whole Jason Grimsley federal investigation has been fun to follow. Nice of the federal investigators to try and make Barry Bonds a sympathetic figure by their witch-hunt. Former big leaguer Jim Leyritz told Opie and Anthony about one particular day he tried some amphetamines/greenies: "I can remember my first amphetamine. I was out all night drinking with Andy Hawkins and some of the guys on the team. I was a young player. I came in. I was hung over, sleeping by my locker. And all of a sudden, [Don] Mattingly came to me and said, 'Hey, you're in the lineup.' And I went, 'What?' He goes, 'Yeah, I just hurt my back.' "Now I'm walking around, I'm going, 'I don't know how I'm going to do this. There's no way that I can go play this game today.' I ran into my teammate who I knew had some of the 'little helpers,' as they called them. "He said, 'Take one of these. It should help. It'll take the edge off.' "So sure enough, I took one. He goes, 'OK, you can take two, but no more than two.' So I popped one more, and I went out and went 3-for-4 with two homers."
Now we know how Brad Ausmus homered the other night.
Inevitable
Sadly Dallas is going to be a championship city this year. Dirk Nowitzki and Josh Howard were awful and the Mavericks still pulled away late. Probably not going to be easy for Miami if it can’t do better than that NBA Finals worst ever 7-19 (37%) performance from the line. Shaq probably needs to go for two or maybe even three made free throws a game. Probably going to need more than 3 fourth quarter points from Dwyane Wade. Probably can’t let Antoine Walker jack it up 19 times or Gary Payton jack it up at all. It’s only one game, but it’s clear the West is the best.
Pop Muzik
British music magazine “Mojo” came out with a list of the 101 best Beatles songs. Looking at the top 10 we start backwards with “A Hard Days Night.” At 9 we find “Penny Lane”. At 8 we get “Happiness is a Warm Gun.” I absolutely love that this song is in the top 10. Ever hear U2’s version? “Something” is at 7 preceded by “In My Life.” “She Loves You” is at 5. At 4 we get “Tomorrow Never Knows.” “Yesterday” comes in at number 3. “Strawberry Fields Forever” at 2 with the best Beatles song of all-time being
I have no problem with that as # 1 whatsoever. I probably would have found room for “Come Together,” “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da,” and “Help” but that’s just me. Oh also, “Revolution # 9.” How can you leave that out? Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, did I mention Number 9?
--Fifteen wonderful years ago this week Extreme’s “More Than Words” hit # 1 on the pop singles chart. Oh the memories. Also 15 years ago Jane’s Addiction’s “Nothing’s Shocking” was certified Gold. Oh the memories.
--The Gin Blossoms are back?! That could be good. First Menudo and now Gin Blossoms. Don’t call it a comeback…
--It was a pretty boring MTV Movie Awards with the notable exceptions of Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, and Gnarls Barkley. If you haven’t heard Gnarls, you will, particularly when the Best New Artist Award gets handed out at the Grammys. Jessica Alba was fantastic to look at, but that was some horrible joke telling though the jokes weren’t helping.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--After four bewildering years Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morisette are apparently no more.
--Not that you need to be reminded, but Entourage and Deadwood start up Sunday.
'E' or Kevin Connolly and his girl Nicky Hilton.
--It was redneck night on Leno the other day. He had those always-hilarious Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys. Wow, that stuff never gets old. Oh that Larry the Cable Guy, fun-ny, fun-ny, fun-ny. The highlight of the night was David Lee Roth “performing” Van Halen’s “Jump” bluegrass style. This, ladies and gentleman, is why God invented YouTube.
--Alien vs. Predator 2?! Someone has waaaaay too much money.
--Your DrudgeReport headline of the week just in time for the World Cup….Study: Blisters from new football boots linked to toxic shock syndrome.
That doesn’t sound good.
--I’ve never had it and likely never will and certainly not in Chicago where the city council has banned foie gras.
--I know you are all wondering what Nacho Libre’s finisher is going to be. He told Sports Illustrated, "The Wind of A Lion is basically a submission hold. You get the guy down, you sit on his face and then you release the lion's wind. That usually spells complete defeat."
--Your dumbass criminal of the week comes to us from that most scandalous of states…Iowa. Mommy Elaine Baker was in Clay County Jail and obviously wanted to get out. So she got on a prison phone, called her 18-year-old son, and asked him to get the pot out of the fridge and sell it (pot-sicles?). For some reason she didn’t think that her phone call might be monitored so that got her son arrested and her another count of possession with intent to deliver. Nice job.
--Stephanie from Full House (Jodie Sweetin) is hosting a new show on Fuse. It’s probably one of those shows that you can’t tell what they’re about from the title alone. Or maybe not. Her show is titled, Pants-Off Dance-Off. Basically people of all ages strip to their favorite music video. I guess still no reason to watch Fuse, well except for those 100% shows, which are pretty solid.
The former Stephanie Tanner.
--Some of the new cast of the next Dancing With The Stars includes Vivica A. Fox, A.C. Slater, and Harry Hamlin who is married to the Joker who some refer to as Lisa Rinna.
--The best news I’ve heard all week may be that The Shield has been given a seventh season. It was originally set to end after the next batch of shows. So now it’ll end late 2007 or early 2008.
--The following letter is why Dear Abby is a must-read every morning.
Dear Abby:
I have reason to believe that a young man in my family may be gay ( he is 15).
I have been thinking a lot about it lately, and have been wondering if circumcision would cure it. What do you think?
Grandmother
in Missouri
--Because you absolutely need to know the loss of natural teeth state rankings…Checking in at first or worst is…wait for it…West Virginia. Obviously then Kentucky is # 2. 42.8% of West Virginians ages 65 and older have had all of their natural teeth extracted (by one way or another). You’ll never believe what states round out the top five. Tennessee, Alabama, and Louisiana. Absolutely shocking. Texas and New York come in tied for 41st at 16.8%. Now you know.
--Your high school prank of the week comes to us from Clio, Michigan. A couple of seniors grabbed their diplomas from their principal and then, well let’s let principal Keith Smith explain what happened, "They came over to shake my hand," he said. "As they were shaking my hand they reached around grabbed my butt and started rubbing it." Yeah, the principal with the great sense of humor talked to the police about it and wants the students to be charged with fourth degree criminal sexual conduct.
Questions, comments, or if like Stephen Colbert you don’t trust sports in which the U.S. women’s team is better than the men’s…
