'Cause I'm A Turn It In And I'm A Turn It Out

My Bologna Has A First Name It’s O-S-C-A-R

--So when you saw Forest Whitaker go up on stage to get his Best Actor award did you first think of him as Jefferson from Fast Times? Rawlins from Bloodsport? Ghost Dog? Kavanaugh from The Shield? Or if you’re like me Forest Whitaker will always be Herman the bully from Diff’rent Strokes?

--How freakin’ insane was that troupe of dancers, Pilobolus, which performed the movie logos?! Can’t wait until that shows up on YouTube.

--Ellen was pretty strong and easily had the hottest lesbian girlfriend there in Portia de Rossi.

--There’s cute and then there’s Abigail Breslin and Will’s boy Jaden presenting an award.


--Embarrassingly I still haven’t seen The Departed. How weird/stupid was it that The Departed with Martin Scorsese and an all-star cast like that was represented on stage by only the producer when it picked up Best Picture? That made no sense.

--Although I’m sure it’s disturbing as hell I’ve got to see Little Children with Jackie Earle Haley/Kelly Leak. Freakin’ weird seeing him now.

--Also freakin’ weird seeing Jack Nicholson with no hair.

--Dreamgirls had 3 of the 5 Best Song nominees and didn’t win?!

--Prestige was nominated a couple of times, but didn’t win. That was one fan-freakin-tastic movie!
Bowie rules!

--By the way, the only way to watch the Oscars is on DVR. I can’t imagine the boredom suffered by those who were actually there in their seats for four hours.

--Congratulations to Sharon Stone and Basic Instinct 2 for picking up four coveted Razzies including Worst Picture and Worst Actress. Maybe next year Wayans boys, as Little Man managed to pick up only three. M. Night Shyamalan picked up worst director and worst supporting actor for Lady in the Water. Congratulations to all those well-deserved “winners.”

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--God bless Pulp Fiction and God Bless YouTube…




--Tell me Britney did not get rehab advice from Daniel Baldwin.

--Our “only in Tennessee” story of the week comes to us from Rogersville. Rhonda Sue Sullivan was arrested after being found riding a bike drunk off her ass. No surprise we see these types of stories all the time right? Well, Rhonda Sue was on the bike at her gym at the time the cop came up to her. Someone called in saying a crazy drunk woman was on a stationary bike and the cops felt compelled to see what was up. The cop asked Rhonda Sue to go outside and she was very tipsy, possibly sweaty and now faces public intoxication charges.

--A Krispy Kreme whole wheat doughnut that’s only 180 calories?!

--Across the pond a clueless, apparently overwhelmed, mother doesn’t know what to do with her fatty 196-pound 8-year-old boy. Hi, mom of tub o’ lard, France called and thinks you’re giving up too easily. Enabling mum said, "He likes processed foods and if I try him with any salad, vegetables, fruit, he just refuses to eat it or spits it out. When a child won't eat anything else, you've got to feed them what they like."

--I didn’t see any of Rainn Wilson/Dwight Schrute’s appearance on SNL last week except for this…


--Our next drunken story comes to us from New Port Richey, Florida. Craig Shelton was in his pickup swerving all over the road late the other night when he was pulled over. The officer asked for Shelton’s license and Shelton admitted it was suspended and then came sobriety test time. Shelton failed the first test miserably then said, "Just call it a DUI man. You got me." So he gets arrested and is sitting in the back of the police cruiser when he uttered this fantastic question to the cop, "Did you find my weed?" Yeah, he’s in some trouble.

--Don’t kick a man while he’s down. If he’s standing up though go for it…


Questions, comments or if you think Roy is going to kill Jim this week…