And I've Got More Hits Than Sadaharu Oh
Gone Fishin’
The Texans have the week off so nothing to criticize or praise. You know how I like to praise the Texans. I haven’t really felt like a fan after the offseason, but Dallas is Dallas and it needs to be beaten. 19-10 has a nice ring to it. No way the Texans lose to a team whose star player writes children’s books and whose first book is about a little boy named Little T who refuses to share his football until he figures out he can’t enjoy his new ball unless he shares it with his friends. No way, Houston loses to that guy.
--The Jerome Bettis of tight ends, Mark Bruener has a total of 2 catches for 3 yards and 2 TDs.
--Gary Kubiak’s weekly show on Mondays at 5 on SportsRadio 610 is good, but I’m thinking Kubiak won’t be calling out players or a position like Dennis Green did to his offensive linemen on his radio show: “They need to quit whining so much. Half those guys are making over $3 million a year. They need to get off their butts and start doing the job. I don’t like to feel sorry for guys — there’s no room for crybabies. You are offensive linemen getting paid big money, then do your job. You can go to watch Mesa High School play and know if the offensive linemen are doing their job or not. A 75-year-old woman in the stands can tell if you are doing the job or not. The guy got blocked, or he didn’t.”
--How did Steve McNair go through 11 seasons in the AFC without facing the Broncos until this Monday night?
--Philly Fan must be proud of themselves for this shirt: Dallas Sucks, T.O. Swallows (pills). Last Monday’s Lincoln Financial Fan of the Game must also be proud of himself for getting arrested and hauled off before the game even ended. Apparently the lucky fan is randomly drawn and this one held the title for 20 minutes before getting handcuffed. Gotta love Philly.
--The Colts have 2 wins in Giants Stadium this season. The Giants and Jets combined have 1, 2, 3, zero.
--We all know Daunte Culpepper has been sacked the most times at 21 followed by David Carr and Carson Palmer at 15. Who has been sacked the least? The quarterback of the team that runs the ball 67% of the time…Philip Rivers.
--Sammy Morris is back practicing with the Dolphins after a serving a four-game suspension for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. The suspension meant he couldn’t step foot on Dolphins property, which made getting paid interesting, “I had to meet in a Whole Foods parking lot to pick up my last preseason check. I was like a drug dealer that had leprosy or something.''
--In their last 100 games the Arizona Cardinals have had a 100-yard rusher seven whole times. Leading the way doing it three times? The man, the myth, the Marcell Shipp. Emmitt accounts for two of those seven.
--Al Jazeera has press credentials for the Eagles/Cowboys game and previously covered the Saints return to Nawlunz?!
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--Yeah, Jim Hickey was the problem. The crappy pitching was been the problem this entire time. Nice job.
--Thankfully Lost is back and all of our questions have been answered. It all makes sense now. Wait…
--Oh, those quaint small towns in Iowa where the theatres don’t show Jackass 2, but they do offer up Jackbutt 2, at least that’s what the marquee outside the theatre reads.
--Man, who would have thought Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston wasn’t going to work out?
--Forbes came out with a list of the top 10 most trusted celebrities. At 10 is Reese Witherspoon. Morgan Freeman should definitely be higher than 9. Ty Pennington at 7 and I’ll never understand the appeal of that show. Denzel at 6. Figured Oprah would be # 1, but she’s # 4. Michael J. Fox at # 3. For some reason # 1 Tom Hanks is more trusted than # 2 Rachael Ray. No freakin’ way. Rachael has never told a lie in her life and rides to work on a unicorn while tossing out friendly hellos and fresh chocolate chip muffins baked with love and laced with happiness. What’s not to trust? Tom is the one who deceived an apartment building full of women by dressing as a female.
--Movie Monday on The Office was out-freakin-standing. Ex-lover-ish. Crentist. Reject a woman and she will never let it go...one of the many defects of their kind, also weak arms. Let’s hug it out, bitch. Michael and Entourage = match made in heaven. Best episode of the new season. Earl’s highlight? Any scene involving Jaime Pressly and her deaf lawyer Marlee Matlin particularly the one where Jaime/Joy was laughing at Marlee and saying, “If you could hear how you sound when you talk, ha ha ha.”
--Is anyone besides Paris upset Shanna Moakler punched her in the face? Didn’t think so.
--You ever knock on your pot-smoking friend’s door pretending to be the police? Sure, who hasn’t. One guy at Arizona State did this and his three friends inside freaked out. One more than the others. That one tried to escape through a window…and he promptly fell two stories landing on a covered entryway before finally plopping onto the ground. Oh those crazy college daze.
--If you’re keeping track, Tony and Eva have now not broken up.
----The new Killers album is out and that’s a very, very good thing. And now thanks to Jimmy Kimmel we know how they got their name.
