It's Time...Really, Really, Really Time...

Boys, Come Back With Your Shield or On It...

This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. It's your ass in Game 6 Jazz.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I have no idea who is going to win the presidency (that's a lie, the media found out weeks ago and you're going to love him...or her??...just kidding him), but this will probably sway my vote.


--Really Shield?! You're not coming back until September because you don't want to go up against the Olympics?!

--Aw geez, Hulkster do you really have to oil Brooke's ass?! It's bad enough Papa Joe creeps everyone out with his comments about Jessica's body, but I've never seen pics of him oiling up his grown daughter's ass.

--Gary Dourdan from C.S.I. (a.k.a. the black guy on C.S.I.) seems to be kind of a jerk what with his berating and beating down papparazzi who only exist to serve mankind. So he's probably not gonna get a lot of love after he was busted the other night. Dude was asleep at the wheel. So why did you have cocaine on you? He also had ecstasy and heroin because that's how C.S.I.s roll.

--I was watching CNN Headline News when they started talking about Roger and John Daly's ex. Then they showed that clip that I'm sure you saw with John Daly golfing topless except when they showed it they actually put black bars over John's manboobs. Awesome...and thank you.

--Leighton Meester as the pop singer on Entourage next season?!

--Creed has a new album out. Wait, Creed from The Office?! Apparently so.

--Line of the week from The Daily Show: "Reverend Wright has been dominating cable news coverage like he's a missing white girl."

--Teresa Palmer and Jonah Hill in Transformers 2?!

--Count Jessica Walter (the hilarious matriarch of the Bluth family on Arrested Development) in on 90210. I'm thinking she can handle the role of an alcoholic former TV star in the 70s. Apparently she will be the reason the Walsh (or whatever they're calling this fish out of water tribe) family moves to Beverly Hills.

--My Beastie Boy and yours Adam Yauch has a basketball documentary coming out. It's called Gunnin' For That # 1 Spot and features eight of the best high school players in the land. The eight: Michael Beasley, Tyreke Evans, Jerryd Bayless, Donte Greene, Brandon Jennings, Kevin Love, Kyle Singler and Lance Stephenson. They all head to Rucker and ball. This sounds out-standing!

--Thursday May 15th the Fresno Grizzlies are hosting Totally Rad 80s Night and the guest of honor is none other than Mr. Johnny Lawrence who faced the wrath of Daniel's crane kick, which I'm still waiting to see executed in the octagon.

--A Jimi Hendrix sex tape is out?!

--Sadly Angie Everhart and Joe Pesci...no more. If they can't make it, what chance do we have? Thankfully the news that Mariah and Nick Cannon have married gives us hope once again.

--Your awesome high school principal of the week comes to us from Memphis. There Daphne Beasley wanted to try and cut down on public displays of affection between students. So she asked teachers to report any heterosexual or homosexual couples to her. What did mean Ms. Beasley do with this information? She posted it in the school of course for everyone to see. Everyone to see that Nicholas and Andrew are a couple. Yeah, the boys didn't really appreciate being outed especially since one of the boys hadn't told his mom, but the principal did. As you might expect that school is about to see a crapload of lawsuits as the ACLU is getting involved.

--How much of a f'n moron is DeShawn Stevenson? What with his ridiculous trash talking of LeBron, his stupid "can't feel my face" motion when he's losing by 15, all his Soulja Boy crap, his boycott of a club because Jay-Z ripped him there, his throat slash gesture in the 1st quarter, his wearing a Vick jersey before Game 5 and oh yeah, that whole being 20 and buying a 14-year-old girl a bottle of brandy and then having relations (or as police call it statutory rape) with her.

--One wasn't enough? Two wasn't enough? You actually took three transvestites back to your hotel room, Ronaldo?!

--Maria Menounos is trying out for some beach volleyball tournament and I'm sure the pictures will pop up online in 3, 2,...

--Two outstanding choices for People's 100 Most Beautiful People...Christina Hendricks from Mad Men and my girl Minka Kelly.

--John Mayer was on a streak what with Jessica Simpson and Minka Kelly among who knows who else, but now it's Jennifer Aniston.

--Like you I could care less about the Stanley Cup Playoffs, but I'll be damned if Montreal beats Philly after some Canadian jerkies threw a Habs jersey on Rocky's statue.

--G4 is going to bring us something called Hurl, which will combine speed eating with intense physical challenges. Ummmm, no thanks.

--David Brenner and Tai Babilonia are engaged?!

Questions, comments or if you think you can make it throughout the entire Kanye/Lupe/N.E.R.D. show without finding out what happens in Game 6...