Initial Post

Welcome Back

Finally…the Yao has come back to Houston!! Candy ass teams beware the Rockets at long last have their original starting five in place and not a moment to soon. It was good to see the big man on the floor again Monday and he looked all right. Unfortunately the perimeter shooting was ice cold yet again. No more looking back, time to look ahead. February brings thirteen games with eight of those coming at the unfriendly confines of Toyota Center where the Rockets are 4-15. On the plus side the boys don’t play any teams in its division where they remain winless. It all gets rolling Wednesday with the Bucks who sit 5-11 against the West. Next will be Seattle which isn’t good at all then the horrible Knicks and inconsistent Sixers before Kobe-time. So if Houston is going to make one last run it better start Wednesday night.

--Juwan Howard had a strong January. He shot 49% averaging 17.3 points and 7.3 rebounds. Rafer had his best month in a Houston uniform averaging 14.5 points, 6.9 assists and 2.1 steals. Tracy was Tracy going for 32.4 pts., 6.5 rebounds and 4.8 assists.

--As a team the Rockets had a 5-11 January although they shot a season best 44% and scored just over 93 points a game.

--Back to the bench for Dikembe who is 5th in the league in rebounds per 48 minutes.

--Emeka Okafor hasn’t played in Charlotte’s last 11 games, which have all been losses. The big fella will miss another 5 weeks with that sprained ankle.

--Dennis Rodman is playing in some British basketball league in the hopes of a return to the NBA. I think it’s safe to say that ain’t happening.

--Really why should the Hornets ever go back to New Orleans. I mean if their residents aren’t going back why should an NBA team go?

--I have no idea if Isiah Thomas is guilty of the sexual harassment charges that woman made. I do know that sorry excuse for a general manager should have the courtesy to say one or maybe two words to his 19-year-old son who was the result of a Thomas fling while Isiah was engaged to another woman.

--Steve Francis had his first triple-double of the season the other night against Philly. Steve went for 19, 10, and 10 in the loss. Who has more career triple-doubles? Steve or Tracy? The man who built Toyota Center has twice as many (4) as T-Mac.

--Despite sitting on Jamie Foxx’s lap during the Globes Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are just fine. The duo went to the SAG Awards together and are both good friends of Foxx who is even going to be on one of Tony Parker’s tracks on his album that, I think, comes out this summer. By the way, Foxx’s real name is Eric Bishop. Now you know…

The Game (not the rapper or the wrestler)

Not much longer now until that fun yet bittersweet final football game of the season. I don’t care who wins I just want a memorable game. These playoffs have been bo-ring so I hope the football gods are saving up all the excitement and action for XL. I won’t bother with a prediction because for one thing it’s only Tuesday and for another, you don’t care.

--You Aggies are looking really cool going after the Seahawks 12th man use like this. Not silly or petty or ridiculous or a laughing stock or stupid or trivial, but really, really cool. Keep up the important work.

--Every team in the league has at least two players with Super Bowl experience except for…wait for it…Pittsburgh. The Texans Super experience comes from Tony Banks and Mark Bruener.

--There’s a Senior Bowl Hall of Fame?! Apparently so as this year’s inductees were Curtis Martin, Tony Nathan, and Michael Strahan. Congratulatons?

--Congratulations to Cincinnati’s Chris Henry who was stupid enough to point a gun at a group of people (allegedly) while a cop was right there to see it. The cop told the genius to put the weapon down and Henry threw it into a car. He was arrested and charged with possession of a concealed firearm, improper exhibition of a firearm and aggravated assault with a firearm. Everybody hates Chris...Henry.

--I’m not surprised Brett Favre is thinking about retiring. I am surprised he’s talking about it on ESPN. I mean we’re not even through with the Super Bowl so sleep on it a night or two Brett before speaking about it in public.

--Eight primetime games will be on the NFL Network next season. Great. Now get off your ass Time Warner and get me some NFL Network. The first game is supposed to be Thanksgiving night between the Cowboys and Redskins although Cowboys and Texans would make for some fun Thanksgiving gatherings around the state.

--Almost 2 million people lived in Detroit in the ‘50s. Nowadays Detroit’s population is roughly 900,000. It’s the U.S.’s poorest big city, if you can still call it a big city. If they need some more residents we have some evacuees with names like B-Stupid we can offer.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--How great does Date Movie look? Yeah, not at all. I say that, but I look at the box office top 10 and see Big Momma’s House 2 at number 1 so I’m obviously a bad judge of movies. After all BMH2 had the second best January opening weekend ever. Wow, that’s troubling.

I'm not sure what this scene is about, but I'm sure it's hilarious.

--The man, the myth, the legend Shaun White won his 8th straight super pipe event at X Games 10. I’m pretty sure the hour I spent watching the super pipe finals is more than I’ll watch the Games in Turin or Torino or whatever it’s called this week.

--The new mayor of Monument, Oregon almost made it a month on the job without being arrested for driving under the influence. Almost. This weekend His Honor, Kenneth Lesley, was driving after using the fun trifecta of prescription drugs, alcohol, and mary jane. Bad idea. His Holiness was trying to pass a car when he hit that one forcing his pickup into the other lane where it hit a Suzuki Forenza. That car was driven by someone named Almond Joy Oliver. No joke, Almond Joy. Next to the Chick-o-Stic it might be the worst candy ever, but that’s for another time. Anyway His Excellency’s pickup drove off into a field and burst into flames. Fortunately His Highness was able to make it out of the pickup and then he fled the scene while everyone else had to visit the hospital. His Mayorship showed up at the scene five hours later and was charged with DUII (the extra ‘I’ for intoxicants), Failure to Perform the Duties of a Driver Involved in an Injury Crash (longest charge ever…), and also Assault in the Third Degree.
Who thought this would be a good idea?

--Don’t worry world another Friday the 13th movie is in the works.

--Your eBay item of the week comes to us from a moron in where else, Tennessee. Tommy Joyce is auctioning off a box of Mini-Wheats that has a picture of an American Airlines plane on the front and an expiration date of 9/11/2001. Mr. Joyce’s sales pitch: PLEASE, SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY!!!!! THIS BOX OF KELLOGG'S MINI WHEATS WITH RAISINS IS ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE AND INTRIGUING ITEMS YOU WILL EVER SEE ON EBAY OR ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD, FOR IT HOLDS THE CONSTANT MEMORY OF THE TRAGEDY WHICH STRUCK OUR GREAT NATION. IT ALSO REPRESENTS THE MANY LIVES LOST AND THE LIVES THAT WERE TOUCHED BY THIS CATASTROPHIC EVENT. THIS ITEM HAS NEVER BEEN OPEN, THE SEAL HAS NEVER BEEN BROKEN, AND THERE ARE NO TEARS, SCRATCHES, OR IMPERFECTIONS OF ANY KIND ON THE BOX. IT IS DATE-STAMPED SEPTEMBER 11TH, 2001; BUT WHAT IS EVEN MORE AMAZING IS THE FACT THAT THE BOX IS COMPLETELY ILLUSTRATED WITH AMERICAN AIRLINES PLANE DEPICTIONS AND ADVERTISEMENTS ON TH FRONT AND BACK OF THE BOX AND IS TITLED "THE AMERICAN DREAM!" THIS IS A MUST-HAVE FOR ANY SERIOUS COLLECTOR!!!!!!
Unbelievable. He will donate a portion of the proceeds to a 9/11 children’s fund. The starting bid? $100,000. Yeah, good luck with that.

--I was wasting time at Borders the other day when I came across the first of what I’m sure will be many 24 books featuring Jack Bauer, of course. It’s just another day in the life of Jack using different stories than the ones we’re treated to. Hopefully President Palmer is still alive in those.


--Wrestlemania 22’s theme song? Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time.” Huh?

--What a shock to see Jessica Alba at the top of AskMen.com’s list of 99 female celebrities who you would want a relationship with. Yeah, I’m sure men voted on who they wanted a relationship with and not who they simply wanted relations with. Relations= Jessica Alba. Relationship= Catherine Keener.


--The nominations for the Razzies are out. Props to Son of the Mask for garnering eight nominations. The other worst film nominees are House of Wax, Deuce Bigalow 2: Electric Boogaloo (or something to that effect), Dukes of Hazzard and Dirty Love. Katie Holmes got a nomination for worst supporting actress for her role in Batman Begins. Thankfully she’s not supposed to be back in the sequel.

What's not to like?

--If you're having a bad day maybe a glance at Serena Williams in waaaaay too low cut jeans would brighten it or maybe not.

--Arrested Development is no longer on the air yet the horrific War At Home remains. Life’s not fair.

--Sir Charles is on The Daily Show Tuesday night.
Questions, comments, or if you can’t get enough of Super Golden Crisp