She's crafty - she's gets around. She's crafty - she's always down.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--They settled and now we have a 12-episode order of Jersey Shore to watch this summer. Whew. And I’m shocked, SHOCKED I say to hear about JWOWW (all CAPS?) and Snooki having nude pics floated around the Interwebs.

--No matter how long they stay together this will never not look odd.


--Nice rundown from Esquire on Super Bowl halftime counter-programming through the years. How has the Bud Bowl not come back in 3-D yet?! Maybe I’ll give Puppy Bowl a try this year.

--I don’t even know what to say about Lost except: awesome....and my head hurts. So much going on. So many “realities.” Yes it delves deep into the sci-fi, unbelievable end of the pool, but it makes it such an enjoyable swim. Although enjoyable, it was also a pretty damn sad episode what with the 2004 arc leaving Locke in a wheelchair, Charlie suicidal, Rose about to die, Sun and Jin in who knows what shape relationship-wise, Shannon and Kate not engaging in a pillow fight. We’ve got a long way to go from now until Sunday May 23rd when it all comes to an end, at least in this reality.
“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”


--Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (sucked) leads your list of Razzie nominations including Worst Screen Couple (Shia and Megan or Shia and pick a robot) and Worst Picture. Ms. Fox has a good chance at Worst Actress with Transformers or Jennifer’s Body. Land of the Lost is also a big winner/loser in nominations. Other Worst Pictures include GI Joe, All About Steve and my personal favorite Old Dogs.

The stakes are raised this year with the inclusion of Worst of the Decade awards like Worst Movie of the Decade which should be close between Gigli, Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, I Know Who Killed Me, and Swept Away. Rightly so Eddie Murphy and John Travolta each won three Razzies this decade and are up for Worst Actor. Madonna and Paris Hilton have 4 Razzies apiece and are up for Worst Actress along with Glitter’s Mariah Carey and Lindsay Lohan and Jennifer Yopez.

--This is one of those UFC weekends that so belongs on Spike and not PPV. Couture and Coleman? Yuck. Although I’m anxious to see Demian Maia back and Mike Swick for that matter. But other than that, yeah, not much. With all the oldies on this card, this is the card Herschel Walker belonged on. Yeah, Herschel probably shoulda finished off his opponent sooner, but damn the guy is 48 and in his first fight (not that we need to see more).

--Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard engaged?! Did I see him on Parenthood? Lauren Graham is reason enough to give that show a watch or two.


--To me the best part of having a NASCAR race on TV is that collective steady hum of the cars that puts me right to sleep. For Dennis Zeglin the best part of watching a race is not having to deal with that loud ass pet parrot his wife had. “Had” being the operative word since “Mikey” was all rude during a race the other day and wouldn’t shut the hell up. Dennis had no choice, but to shoot him with his BB gun three times. Yeah, when wifey got home and saw her dead parrot she called the police.

--Still haven’t seen Avatar and yet I’m pretty sure this is awesome…


--Man’s Worst Friend of the Week comes to us from California. ‘Twas there that a 53-year-old man was hunting with his female black lab and a friend. So the guy went to pick up his decoy ducks, but first he set his loaded shotgun down on the ground with its safety on. That safety didn’t stop the dog from getting her revenge for all those times she wanted to play and he didn’t. So the black lab stepped on the gun, simultaneously disengaging the safety and hitting the trigger. Bam! Right in the back of her owner who was about 15 yards away. He’s all right and now has one helluva hunting story.

--I don’t even know you anymore Chuck. You’ve changed, man.

A nice addition

--If you foolishly haven’t been watching Modern Family ABC is running a bunch of episodes Sunday evening so adjust your DVRs accordingly. It's not only hilarious, but educational like how I know what a moon landing and splashdown are.

--Jon Stewart v. Bill O’Reilly Wednesday and Thursday on Factor.

--Jessica Simpson traded in Billy Corgan for Riggins - who probably has a real name and maybe sometime I'll refer to him by that.

--Zach Galifianakis hosting SNL next month is a good thing.

--Gotta love Rip Torn. I mean being drunk off your arse and breaking into a bank at night with a loaded revolver is just classic Rip Torn is it not?

--RIP Jack Brisco.

Jerry and Jack v. The Funks was good stuff.

Questions, comments or if within the last week you’ve hit Beavers, original Ninfa’s, Yelapa, Feast, ‘Shroom Throwdown at Vic and Anthony’s, Hugo’s, and Bombay Pizza Company....