My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat
That Was Close
The season was this close (put your index finger and thumb close together…closer…there ya go) to being over, but Kris Brown has a bionic leg and so instead of 2-3 and oh crap, 2-14 here we come it’s 3-2 and time to show the Jaguars just because David Carr is gone doesn’t mean you still aren’t the Texans’ bitches. Last year’s win in Jacksonville snapped Houston’s 12-game road losing streak and made Fred Taylor look a fool after he guaranteed a Jax win. This year the Jags are doing what the Jags do…staying committed to the run, owning time of possession, not turning the ball over, and shutting down opposing offenses. No one has scored more than 14 against them. No one has picked David Garrard. And only four teams are controlling the clock better than Jacksonville. It ain’t gonna be easy for the Texans, but as the football world is beginning to notice, ain’t nothing easy in the AFC South.
--Mike Sellers hits hard…
--How many different ways did the Diamondbacks have to embarrass the Cubs?
--The next offensive TD for the Raiders will match their total from all of last season.
--If this is what the alternative is then maybe Mike Patrick should stick to his awesome pop culture questions: “Virginia Tech went to LSU and got murdered.”
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--Some people need proof there is a God. Not me, not anymore…a Land of the Lost movie with Will Ferrell has been greenlighted.
--So good to have Friday Night Lights back. What Would Riggins Do?
--Dennis Miller a sports show on Vs beginning next month?! I’m in.
--Yeah, it probably can be cut down to 30 minutes of just gold, but I ain’t about to complain about 60 minutes of mostly hits and scattered misses.
Creed killed: "Sup brah""Sometimes you just gotta ride the bull, ya know?"
Kelly: “We have a date”
Andy: "Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office!"
--U-Turn from Weeds on My Name is Earl…gay?!
--Are you ready for Scream 4? Yeah, me neither. However, a Goonies sequel, oh yeah, bring it!
--Seriously who buys his stuff?
--Hulkster to host the new version of American Gladiators?!
--Best news I heard in between 10am-noon on Saturday…Demetri Martin is getting his own show on Comedy Central. David Spade’s show, which wasn’t bad, is over. Lewis Black is also getting his own platform on CC.
--How did we make it this long without having John McEnroe guest on Curb? Nice to see The Wiz too.
--Your proper parenting lesson of the week comes to us from a school bus stop in Jacksonville. There 40-year-old mommy was tired of seeing her son being bullied. So what’s a mom to do? This mom met her son at the bus stop ensuring that he’d be cool forever. Mom had a plan. Plan was wave her gun at other kid on the bus while yelling, “Does anyone have something to say?” and “You can all get some of this.” Yeah, mom is in trouble.
--HBO and UFC did not come to a deal.
--It’s sad that in this day and age I’ve come to appreciate crazy teacher stories that don’t involve the sexing up of students. For example, in California 49-year-old 1st grade teacher Sharon Duering wasn’t molesting students. Congratulations. She did show up to work a bit tipsy though. Twice the legal limit tipsy. And she probably shouldn’t have brought two cans of beer with her in her purse. Other than that though she seems like someone you’d want your kids around.
--Alas your terribly disturbing school story comes to us from Mississippi. There we have a lawsuit filed by a couple of mothers against an assistant principal by the name of Sherard Hollins. It appears Mr. Hollins helped a student with his grades, gave him money and got him out of his JROTC classes. All Mr. Hollins wanted in return was to suck on the student’s big toe and for said student to not, you know, tell people about their arrangement. Yeah, that didn’t last long.
--A nightly, 30-minute show on Fox hosted by Joe Buck?!
--The Eagles for the Super Bowl halftime show?!
Questions, comments, or if you tried to make Jager jealous by flirting with 151 and it didn’t work because Jager wasn’t looking and then 151 left you with a migraine and a stomachache…
