See I've Got Heart Like John Starks

The Good (Babin is that you?), The Bad (I’m looking at you Mario), and The Ugly (Bradlee, wow)

Anytime Mario Williams wants to play like the # 1 overall pick would be fine by me. Just give us something. Help us try to get past that awful, terrible, stupid ass mistake of epic proportions. Not a good sign when Rex Grossman opens up the game against you with eight straight completions. We knew the secondary was going to be a weakness and now without Glenn Earl, well, sh**. The defensive line is going to have to really pick it up now. Jason Babin actually had himself a nice little game as did Earl Cochran. Zac Diles has been making plays every day in camp and looked good once again on Saturday. Kevin Walter is supposed to have hands, but I don’t see him use them enough. C’mon offense twice you start series inside the Chicago 25-yard line and all you manage is 14 yards?! And why aren’t you going for it in a preseason game on 4th and goal at the 2? Jacoby Jones and Jerome Mathis put on a special teams show and those guys handled their receiving duties fine as well. North and south, Jacoby. North and south. Hey offensive line, if you guys feel like run blocking I’m pretty sure the RBs feel like running. All in all it looked like preseason game number 1.

--Apparently four NFL teams are offering its home fans hand-held TVs that get Sunday Ticket for the cost of $24.95. The Texans are one of the four?! That would be outstanding news.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--This isn’t getting nearly enough run, but Bobby Jenks has retired 41 straight batters to tie the MLB record. Jenks has refused to talk to the press until the streak is over.

--Mrs. Gold has always been hot, but wow bra and panties for an entire scene was just outstanding. As soon as they got away from the stupid ass Billy Walsh/E pissing contests the show became entertaining again. Let’s keep it that way. I don’t know which song I was happier to hear Snow’s “Informer” or Another Bad Creation’s “Playground”.

--Ari is to Entourage what Murray is to Flight of the Conchords.

--Wednesday is National Creamsicle Day! Wednesday is also Business Time. Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place and I teach her how to use the video machine again. But Wednesday night is the night that we make love…

--Sticking with the Conchords, October 29th is the early word on a possible date for the DVD of Season One. HBO has yet to make the no-brainer decision to pick it up for Season Two.

--Bruce Willis and Karen McDougal?!

--Surely by now you've seen this, but if not...


--Nice job by the fans at the TNA PPV making it rain on Pac Man with Monopoly money. Pac Man you don’t want none of Ron “The Truth” Killings…

--Nice to have you back Weeds! Kevin Nealon is born to play that role.

--Wait, now BOTH Coreys are going to be in The Lost Boys sequel? Autumn Reeser from The O.C. is the female lead? Kiefer Sutherland’s half-brother will be in it too?! This all sounds very promising…

--I saw about five minutes of Flav’s Roast and unfortunately it was Brigitte Nielsen’s five minutes. Oh, God, that was bad.

--Scratch that…apparently Kristen Bell isn’t going to be on Lost next season. Surely it’s not because she didn’t want to move to Hawaii because I hear Hawaii is kinda nice.

--“Eye poppin’ moves like the centipede…”


--Rock won Hell’s Kitchen because, well, his competition was Bonnie.

--Multiple dumbasses of the week. We head to Eugene, Oregon where some vice squad cops busted a meth dealer at his apartment. So they have their badges hanging around their necks and latex gloves on and here comes a knock, knock on the door. This meth-head asks the dealer right in front of the cops, “Can you hook me up? I really need a 30.” The dealer who is sitting handcuffed tells the guy he can’t hook him up seeing as how he’s in the process of being arrested. Soon the meth-head joined him in handcuffs on the couch. And of course right after this another dumbass enters with seven bags of meth which he stuffed into his mouth as soon as he saw the cops. Yeah, he was busted too. Then finally one more dumbass enters carrying an illegal butterfly knife, which he claimed he was going to use to scare the dealer from continuing to sell to his girlfriend. Yeah, he got a citation.

--Some of you liked it, I never gave it a chance, but the John from Cincinnati experiment is over for HBO.

--Congratulations to us as in just two decades we Americans have managed to drop from 11th to 42nd in life expectancy.

--Superbad is getting a 95% on rottentomatoes.com.

--King Leonidas/Gerard Butler as Snake Plissken in the Escape from New York remake?!

--Not only did the awesome Wild Hogs come out on DVD this week, but there’s an alternate ending on it! Can’t wait to sit down with that! Why Dr. Cox, why?

--There’s a U2 documentary that has some “rare footage of them in the studio” that will be shown next month at The Toronto Film Festival. Sounds promising.

Bono and The Killers' Brandon Flowers?! Out-standing!

--Filipino prisons don’t look so bad.

--If you’re keeping score at home, David Lee Roth back with Van Halen.

Questions, comments or if you remember when Jenna Jamison was hot…