Kareena Kapoor Wallpapers
When I fill my pockets with a knot of dollar bills
Titans Suck
Congratulations on a great nickname Titans...
--Good luck to you in Waco Art. You're gonna need it and thanks for everything you've done for UH. We appreciate it.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
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Congratulations on a great nickname Titans...
--Good luck to you in Waco Art. You're gonna need it and thanks for everything you've done for UH. We appreciate it.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--Seriously Marco Jaric is pulling the likes of Adriana Lima?!
--I would've expected a Barry Bonds movie to come out on ESPN and be as awful as all there other movies, but Bonds' movie based on the Game of Shadows book is going to be an HBO Films production. Ron Shelton who you may remember from Tin Cup and Bull Durham is set to direct. Chris Rock to play Pirate Barry Bonds with Ving Rhames to play Giant Barry Bonds though I don't think that's official yet.
--Two big shockers on Tuesday. First Helio Castroneves won Dancing with the Stars, which was about as hard to predict as Erin Andrews winning Playboy's poll on the sexiest sportscaster. Erin beat out Lindsay Soto from Fox Sports Net West and some race car chick Krista Voda. Those write-in votes for Pam Ward couldn't quite push her to the top. By the way, Dancing With The Stars you can go ahead and go away for a while. Pretty please.
--By the way, Helio and his fiancee are done because he's supposed to be hooking up with his 19-year-old dancing partner Julianne Hough...
--I would've expected a Barry Bonds movie to come out on ESPN and be as awful as all there other movies, but Bonds' movie based on the Game of Shadows book is going to be an HBO Films production. Ron Shelton who you may remember from Tin Cup and Bull Durham is set to direct. Chris Rock to play Pirate Barry Bonds with Ving Rhames to play Giant Barry Bonds though I don't think that's official yet.
--Two big shockers on Tuesday. First Helio Castroneves won Dancing with the Stars, which was about as hard to predict as Erin Andrews winning Playboy's poll on the sexiest sportscaster. Erin beat out Lindsay Soto from Fox Sports Net West and some race car chick Krista Voda. Those write-in votes for Pam Ward couldn't quite push her to the top. By the way, Dancing With The Stars you can go ahead and go away for a while. Pretty please.
--By the way, Helio and his fiancee are done because he's supposed to be hooking up with his 19-year-old dancing partner Julianne Hough...
--Hey Peter! Wake the F up! Adam is not good, you think Hiro would want to kill him if he was?! All this for an Irish chick who is aight, but you're freakin' Superman so I think you could pull better. And oh yeah, Kristen Bell is kinda hot...
--Jake Gyllenhaal as Joe Namath?!
--Somehow I've managed to avoid the video crack known as Guitar Hero, but that probably won't last much longer. I mean I gotta find something to do with every second of my spare time so I don't fall into boredom and decide to watch 2 girls and 1 cup.
--Apparently some guy named Carson Daly has a talk show and it's breaking the writer's strike. I'll pause for your yawn...
--In case you were wondering and I know you were the next Friday the 13th movie to come out will take place somewhere between 2 and 4 and not be a remake of the original. I've never been less scared of a movie than the Fridays. Michael Myers owns Jason Voorhees.
--Wow, this took waaaay too long to get a show, but finally VH-1 is going to give us Celebrity Rehab. I think half the cast has been on Celebrity Fat Club. The cast is supposed to include Brigitte Nielsen, Daniel Baldwin, Tom Sizemore, Jeff Conaway (Kenickie) and of course, Andy Dick. Can't wait to miss this pathetic bunch.
--Whenever me and the boys start our usual argument about who's the best all-around Chilean prostitute I always go with Maria Carolina because she just seems like a good person. And now I've got proof. Miss Carolina is helping out during Chile's huge two-day telethon to raise money for poor, disabled children. She's auctioned off 27 hours o' fun with her body. She's already raised $4,000 which comes out to about $150 an hour. This isn't her, but Nadine Velasquez es mi favorita...
--Dammit Weeds that sure seemed like a series finale.
--R.I.P. Sean Taylor...
Questions, comments or if you can tell how me how many Altoids it takes to make up for forgetting your toothbrush...
--Jake Gyllenhaal as Joe Namath?!
--Somehow I've managed to avoid the video crack known as Guitar Hero, but that probably won't last much longer. I mean I gotta find something to do with every second of my spare time so I don't fall into boredom and decide to watch 2 girls and 1 cup.
--Apparently some guy named Carson Daly has a talk show and it's breaking the writer's strike. I'll pause for your yawn...
--In case you were wondering and I know you were the next Friday the 13th movie to come out will take place somewhere between 2 and 4 and not be a remake of the original. I've never been less scared of a movie than the Fridays. Michael Myers owns Jason Voorhees.
--Wow, this took waaaay too long to get a show, but finally VH-1 is going to give us Celebrity Rehab. I think half the cast has been on Celebrity Fat Club. The cast is supposed to include Brigitte Nielsen, Daniel Baldwin, Tom Sizemore, Jeff Conaway (Kenickie) and of course, Andy Dick. Can't wait to miss this pathetic bunch.
--Whenever me and the boys start our usual argument about who's the best all-around Chilean prostitute I always go with Maria Carolina because she just seems like a good person. And now I've got proof. Miss Carolina is helping out during Chile's huge two-day telethon to raise money for poor, disabled children. She's auctioned off 27 hours o' fun with her body. She's already raised $4,000 which comes out to about $150 an hour. This isn't her, but Nadine Velasquez es mi favorita...
--Dammit Weeds that sure seemed like a series finale.
--R.I.P. Sean Taylor...
Questions, comments or if you can tell how me how many Altoids it takes to make up for forgetting your toothbrush...
Now I chill real ill when I start to chill
Crap, When Does The Dynamo Season Start?
Houston, we have a problem (see what I did there? I used a phrase from the popular movie Apollo 13 to make an amusing point about something completely unrelated to the space program, but because Houston is common to both NASA and the Texans I can use the phrase and now I'm trademarking it because I feel confident I'm the first person to ever utter it without referencing the movie, probably soon you'll start hearing announcers use the phrase and you'll probably see it on posterboards when Houston teams visit cities and you can think back to November 26th, 2007 when you read it first on the 'Tribes). Where was I? Oh yeah, the Texans came up with a pretty uninspired performance against a decent Cleveland team. This one, like all of them, was about turnovers. The Texans had three (and yes that first INT was b.s. because the linebacker clearly went through Joel Dreesen for the pick) and the Browns turned two of them into points while Houston forced just once and that wasn't really forced as much as it was Derek Anderson going stupid for a second. For once it actually appeared the Texans did need to run the ball more than pass. Cleveland ran on just 11 plays in the first half, but rushed 23 times in the second half to dominate time of possession 2:1. The Texans' D-line was great a week ago, but was non-existent Sunday. What happened to Mario playing with his hand off the ground? The Texans sit at 5-6 and hopefully Albert Haynesworth sits another week because if he does I the Texans will take care of business in Nashville.
--Eat it New England the Niners won so now you might have to settle for the 3rd or even 4th pick in the next draft instead of the 2nd. How does that taste? There's no way you'll recover from this. By the way, rookie Patrick Willis had 17 solo tackles in that crazy game against the Cardinals. He leads the league with 110. Willis is first in solo tackles followed by this guy named DeMeco.
--David Garrard has yet to throw a pick and yet Jacksonville as a team doesn't lead the league in fewest thrown INTs. That honor goes to?....Tampa Bay has been intercepted just four times. The Saints have been sacked a league-low eight times.
--The Bills and Ravens ain't very good with the whole passing thing. They've thrown just 6 TDs each as a team. The fewest passing TDs in the league?...that would be Tennessee.
--Vince Young's QB rating is right between Cleo Lemon's and Rex Grossman's.
--Yeah, he's basically missed 2 and a half games and yet Adrian Peterson still leads the league in rushing. Freakin' Ronnie Brown started the season with back-to-back under 40-yard rushing games and then his season ended in Week 7 and yet Ronnie is still 20th in rushing yards.
--I'm thankful I wasn't Matt Henry on Saturday...
--We have four receivers who have gone double-digit TDs. We have zero, zero RBs who have more than 9 rushing scores.
--NE K Stephen Gostkowski has 58 extra points or as many as Rob Bironas, Morten Andersen, Jeff Wilkins and Joe Nedney combined.
--In retrospect I probably should've posted "an Emmitt" every week this season. Who's the coach of Cleveland?
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--This could be promising...
Also promising that Georges St. Pierre is stepping in for Matt Serra against Matt Hughes in the December PPV. That is one helluva card to send 2007 out on.
--Hulkster and Mrs. Hulkster done?! Probably would've been cooler if Hulk didn't learn about it from a reporter.
--So should I even try to view this 2 girls and a cup video?! This guy I used to work with named Chance told me about it and there are a million reaction videos on YouTube and I'm not sure if I'm ready to gag about now.
--Probably cool to go out with a guy, in this case Johnny Depp, who buys you a vineyard as a gift. Vanessa Paradis the lucky girl...
--I love Frank Caliendo and never miss a show when he's in town, but to me Frank TV isn't the right platform for the guy. I like it when he goes in and out of voices at break neck speed and the whole get a guest from the audience gimmick doesn't work for me. Having said that 2.9 million viewers for the premiere is pretty strong. I can't believe so many tuned in considering they RARELY showed a commercial for it.
--I like the Vegas CSI, the other twelve versions not so much. Anyway, CSI: Miami is adding Jessie or Elizabeth Berkley.
--Because I get waaaay behind on movies I just now finally saw 28 Weeks Later and of course it was great.
--There are probably better way to pick the next President, but TV Guide talked to the candidates about what they watch. Hillary watches crap on HGTV and Grey's clearly in an attempt to prove she is a sensitive female. My boy Barack watches Spongebob cause he can watch it with his daughters. His all-time favorites are M.A.S.H and The Wire and there ain't anything wrong with that or with Mitt Romney's favorite Lost.
--Seriously The Weather Channel released its first CD?! "The Weather Channel Presents: The Best of Smooth Jazz"
--You ever try to learn how to design a website so you made up a fake one and ending up making $40,000 a year?! Me neither...yet. But Linda Katz of Garden City, Kansas did. So what made up business did she come up with? The Prairie Tumbleweed Farm. This woman pretended to sell small, medium and large tumbleweeds for $15-$25. She pretended until people started ordering people like NASA and movie studios.
--So what's the point of having Chris Brown in Stomp the Yard if you're gonna kill him off five minutes in (not that I watched Stomp the Yard)?
--I know you were with your family over the Thanksgiving weekend and reminiscing about the good ol' days and someone probably said, "Whatever happened to Gloria Sykes?" Well now the...rest...of...the...story. Gloria Sykes had just moved to San Francisco, now this back in 1966 when from my understanding drugs were kind of popular and music was kinda experimental, anyway G-L-O-R-I-A was on a cable car when boom the cable snapped sending the car down the hill. Gloria flew out and hit a pole and suddenly this devout Lutheran, this dance teacher became a nymphomaniac. She sued the city for this and I woulda figured something a suit like this in 1966 would have gotten you laughed at. After the accident she had sex with over 100 men and showed the court detailed records including a week where she had relations with 50 guys. She sued for $500,000 and it ended up being one of the first cases to prove post-traumatic stress disorder. Gloria was sexually abused as a child and doctors thought the crash triggered something that, unfortunately, made her seek the comfort of men. She ended up getting $50,000 from the jury (she wasn't present in court for the ruling) and disappeared. Some nosy tv station in San Fran found her at an assisted living facility where she declined comment except to say that after the verdict she moved around and eventually got married. Just a weird, weird story.
--In case you missed it and I bet you did Ricardo Mayorga beat Fernando Vargas in what was actually a decent scrap according to those who went out of their way to watch it, I wasn't one of those people.
Questions, comments or if you're pissed because you forgot to record Battlestar Galactica: Razor...
And when my girlie shakes her hips-she sure gets funky
Let 'Em Know
Houston Dynamo
Who?
HOUSTON DYNAMO
Eat it New England. Three straight losses in the MLS Cup and the last two you got done in by who? Houston Dynamo! Who? HOUSTON DYNAMO! That was one helluva game. I just don't see how a general sports fan can't get caught up in a game like that between two very, very good teams who are both so aggressive. Just fantastic stuff and I can't wait to embark on the road to the three-peat.
Who Dat
I heard from the announcer that his name is Mario Williams. I'm not sure when or how Houston acquired him, but that #90 looks like he might just work out. That is if he can play like that on a week-in, week-out basis. My understanding is that Mario has had a problem playing with a consistently high motor. The rest of the defense played like mad men as well despite no Dunta. The only Texan who might want to forget Sunday was Joe Echemandu. Everyone else was fantastic from Ronnie Dayne to the Andres to Schaub to Fred to Will to the offensive line to, aw hell to Petey Faggins. Not one time did I see Petey running after some receiver on his way into the end zone. Congratulations. As bad as they've looked at times bottom line is 5-5 ain't bad considering everything this team has had thrown at it.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--Jeff Garlin from Curb did his part for the writers on strike. Jeff went to a rally, pulled out a big box, told the picketers that he had something for them since they had free time on their hands now and then Jeff proceeded to pass out porn dvds. Love that guy.
--I guess until last Saturday I hadn't seen the music video intro for the Saturday night game on ABC. Yeah, Perry Farrell, um what the hell?
--I like her, but Maxim naming Sarah Michelle Gellar its 2008 Woman of the Year seems a bit ummmm, stupid. She does play a porn star in one of my most anticipated movies, Southland Tales, but other than that I have no idea what she has going on. You know who has it goin' on? Yeah, that's right Bret has got it goin' on...
--Things I Learned From My Master and Teacher, Television, This Week...
Michigan/Ohio State began their rivalry six years before the first World Series. It took until the 16th meeting before the Buckeyes first got over on the Wolverines.
Heroes-A Mexican brother who has a sister who has a runny mascara problem can bring an outstanding show to a screeching halt.
Weeds-The DEA's thermal-imaging scans can pick up huge electric crosses stolen from churches as well as meth labs. (Weeds' season finale is, sadly, this week)
Just because some people think you're cute and you smile a lot doesn't mean you can cook much less host a one-hour talk show. I'm looking at you Rachael Ray.
According to a Trojan commercial if i go into a bar's restroom and purchase a Trojan I'll turn from a pig unlikely to get laid to a guy who will have his pick of skanks.
South Park showed me the greatest operation name in history..."Operation Cannot Possibly Fail"...wait, make that "Operation Cannot Possibly Fail A Second Time", yeah that's the greatest operation name in the history of operation names.
Kelly showed me there's a difference between trash talk and smack talk.
Coach Taylor doesn't like it when his wife whisper-yells at him. And Matt Saracen has the life...he had relations with Julie, is going out with the head cheerleader and now is about to start tapping his grandmother's live-in nurse.
--I'll probably not click on any story with headlines about Boy George having a male escort chained up. Not really interested in the details.
--Yeah, if I'm a dumbass criminal in Florida and I'm trying to run from the police then I'm not diving into an alligator-infested lake. Then again I'm not Dude Whose Name Is Being Witheld By Authorities Because It Happened On An Indian Reservation. This genius was breaking into a car and then ran when he saw the cops. The cops saw him dive in, but not come out. It took hours and hours of dives, but eventually they found genius' body bearing gator teeth marks. Authorites claim they found the hungry, hungry gator which measured nine-feet long. So for some strange reason the gator was put down. I mean what do it do except defend his territory and rid the planet of one dumbass?
--In "You Lucky SOB" news: Heidi Klum is gonna institute Naked Sundays for her and Seal. Seal says, "This is the longest time I've known Heidi without her being pregnant. She's got her body back and it's real good fun!”
"Real good fun." Tell me about it...no really Seal, tell me every detail. Better yet simply film her and then you can show us.
--At first I thought a 123-22 final was crazy and I was interested in the details until the big detail showed itself. It was a women's college game.
--Serena and Common?!
Ana Ivanovic easily hottest tennis player going...
--Seriously Letterman is going to pay his writers out of his own pocket through the end of the year?! I don't know why Leno is showing repeats, I'm pretty sure nobody writes that crap and I can't imagine who'd want credit for it.
--Jamie Oliver, The Naked Chef, is coming back to Food Network in January.
--Thankfully Kansas, Missouri and Chiefs' officials have decided to sell beer at Arrowhead during this weekend's game. I guess they don't normally do that, which obviously sucks for them seeing as how being drunk off your arse was the only way to make Kansas and Missouri watchable.
--Alcohol surely played no role in the following...
Questions, comments or if you wasted money on this past Saturday's UFC PPV...
They Just Don't Make Them Like They Used To
I don't think there is anything more sexy than a vintage 1940's suit. Fitted through the waist, with flared hips and shoulder pads to balance the hip width, nothing is more flattering to the feminine figure. As an added bonus, these suits always feature unusual design details that make them totally unique and unlike anything you can buy today. Take this mustard yellow beauty, for example. It's wool gabardine. And look at those curves!
The opening edge has a sinuous curve that draws your eye and accents the tiny waist. The bound buttonholes follow the line of the opening. Notice how that curve is mimicked in the shape of the lapels. The attention to detail is astounding and unique. It's one of the reasons I love 1940's suits.
Read more...
Ho ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey
Dynamo-ite!!!!
Hell yeah, that's what the hell I'm talking about! Can't F with the Dynamo. I don't see how even non-soccer fans aren't excited in this city about this team. That atmosphere at Robertson is just awesome and a big reason this team is going for back-to-back titles. Anyone doubt they'll get it? This team is so much fun to watch and has had one loooong year with the extra tournaments and several of the key players getting banged up and/or playing for their respective national teams. Then of course they had to overcome a 1-0 deficit against FU Dallas which they did in style with goals in overtime or whatever the hell soccer calls "overtime." Love this stuff and whenever 11 o clock rolls around Sunday I won't be scouring the net for nfl injury updates or on my way to the Texans game. My ass will be on the couch watching the best sports team in Houston repeat as the best team in Major League Soccer.
--Congratulations to the Lions for rushing for all of -18 yards against the Cardinals.
--Remember when we thought the Texans were good because they beat Carolina at home? The Panthers have lost six straight at home.
--The Bills converted just two third downs and still kept the Dolphins winless. Five have Miami's nine defeats have been by three points.
--Congratulations to the Redskins for finally throwing a TD pass to a receiver. Only took 10 weeks.
--The Niners are nine games in and have had four games in which they've been held to single digit first downs including all of six on Monday.
--Adrian Peterson could probably sit out two weeks and still lead the league in rushing when he gets back. Ridiculous.
--The Steelers, Colts and Patriots are the only teams converting at least 50% of their third downs.
--Even after throwing 6 interceptions the Colts are still +8 in turnover ratio, good for 4th behind the Patriots and Chargers who are at +11 and the Falcons? at +9. Didn't think I'd see Atlanta up there in that department. The only team worse than the Texans at -8 is the Saints at -9.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--How great was the Curb finale? If that's the end of the series it went out in style. When Vivica shuts up Suzy's screamdown of Larry I literally fell out of my chair.
--The only Steve Carell vehicle movie I'll kick the tires is Get Smart especially now that the lovely, lovely, lovely Anne Hathaway is Agent 99. The Rock is Agent 23. Bill Murray has a cameo so that doesn't suck either.
--Love Jason Lee. Love David Cross. Love Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Hate Jason Lee, David Cross, and Alvin in the Chipmunks in a movie.
--I really, really need to get my ass to a multiplex to watch No Country for Old Men.
--Didn't you figure when you were a kid that by the year 2007 we would have advanced our toilet cleaning technology? I mean seriously we're still using a brush for this? There isn't an easier, less nasty way? There isn't a self-cleaning bowl? We have self-cleaning ovens, but not toilet bowls? The only improvements we can make in this department are cute little toilet brush holders? C'mon scientists let's get back to solving cancer and aids once we figure out how the hell we can keep our bowls spotless without resorting to the toilet brush that our great-grandparents thought was old-fashioned.
--top ten things i learned from tv this week...
1. Human Weapon - sambo the sport, 1941-russian peasants joined army and passed sambo along. it helped forestall hitler's assault on russia and paved the way for allied victory.
2. Heroin Hero is literally video crack.
3. worry about Jim and Pam breaking up because Jim doesn't want to end up being Michael. Can't believe next week's is the last new one because of the strike.
4. Gordon Ramsay must get paid millions to not slap the F outta these stubborn biyatch owner/chefs on Kitchen Nightmares. You are not a chef if you squeeze mashed potatoes out of a plastic bag.
5. no other ED tablet except Cialis is clinically proven to go to work fast or give us the option of having up to 36 hours to get back to whatever got interrupted. (uh-huh, i guarantee you in 36 hours she's thinking about what got interrupted a day and a half ago, oh yeah for sure)
6. Food Network on HD might be the # 1 reason america is one fat ass country.
She had a baby girl this week.
7. don't donate to Katy D.A.R.E.
8. Larry and the Blacks could be the greatest sitcom in television history.
9. Boondocks showed me just how promising a Soul Plane 2 could be.
10. Never go on CNN...
--Best non-Dynamo news all week: two more seasons of Damages on the way!
--How awesome was the doubleheader combination on My20 on Sunday with La Bamba followed by the Rockets and Bobcats? I don't know if a movie has ever made me more sad than these 4 minutes and 19 seconds did...
RITCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Your No Sh** Sherlock headline of the week comes to us from clickondetroit.com...
Police: Head Found, Possibly that of Homocide Victim
Ummm, possibly?!
--Really Riddick Bowe?! MMA?! By the way, Brock Lesnar is supposed to debut in UFC in February.
--Note to Hollywood: Yeah, umm if you couldn't tell we don't really want to go see movies about the war in Iraq. Yeah, we know it was one colossal clusterf*** that should and could have been avoided so no need to hammer it home with movie after movie.
--Matthew Perry and Mandy Moore?!
Let her go Vince, let her go.
--There are all kinds of serial killers I guess, but when you're talking about Thailand you get a special type of serial killer. This one was murdering security guards in Bangkok and surrounding provinces. Seven guards were murdered and 10 others were seriously injured over the last five months. The serial killer is, of course, a hospital security guard and explains why he did it, "I hate guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty." After his explanation he was let go without being charged...or he's in jail. One of those.
--I haven't watched one second, but apparently Keeping Up With The Kardashians is getting another season.
That is one huuuuge purse.
--Thank you to our nation's veterans and those currently serving around the globe.
Questions, comments or if you're wondering how the hell you're going to keep up with the world now that The Daily Show and Colbert Report are done until the strike ends...
Sipping pints of ale out the window sill
The Killers' new video for "Tranquilize" off their B-sides album, which I'm guessing is awesome...just a guess though...
Wow, Oakland Is A Special Kind of Suck
Not to take anything away from the Texans, but the Raiders are one terr-u-bull football team. Seriously, you're going for a 64-yard field goal?! Seriously, you're gonna leave Josh McCown in?! Seriously, you're gonna allow Ronnie Dayne to go over 100 yards?! Seriously, you can't get one sack against Houston?!
--Seriously Shaun Alexander hasn't run for over for over 50 yards in 4 straight freakin' games and has gone 6 in a row without a TD. Awesome. C'mon Shaun, DeShaun and LaMont have more rushing yards than you.
--Make it 8 straight weeks without a TD catch for TJ.
--Randy Moss now has 12 TD catches or as many total TDs the Raiders scored a year ago.
--I’ve been saying 16-0 was a certainty since Week 2 when I actually got to watch the Patriots juggernaut for a full game. All Don Shula did by commenting on it was motivate those boys that much more and Belichick wasn’t lacking in the motivation department.
--The common theme for Jamal Lewis’ record breaking 295 yard day and Adrian Peterson’s 296 yard day? Chester Taylor was backing up both of them on those crazy days. So yeah, the Texans need to trade for Chester so Ronnie can get 300.
--Last year the NFL had 50 different starting QBs. If Brooks Bollinger and Patrick Ramsey get the calls on Sunday this year that number will be up to 51 already.
--I hate David Carr now more than ever since he's killing my Steve Smith teams. In 5 of the last 6 games Steve hasn't broken 50 yards receiving. You suck David, but you didn't need me to tell you that. I'd think whatever manufacturer you get your gloves from wants to pay you to use someone else's. Get healthy Vinny! I'm thinking John Fox doesn't have all that much confidence in Matt Moore when Fox answers a question about if Moore is ready to start by responding, "It depends on how you define 'ready'."
--David Garrard is 3rd right in front of Peyton Manning in QB rating. Maybe David gets back this week and we can see how much longer before he throws his first pick of the year.
--Ben Roethlisberger now has the honor of being a distant 2nd to Tom Brady in TD passes. Ben - 20. Tom- 33. Tommyboy is still completing over 73% of his passes.
--Seriously Adrian Peterson has damn near 300 more yards than anyone else in the league. Sick. How awesome would it have been if the Texans had the chance to pass him over too?
--Tennessee center Josh McNeil is the BMOC this week. Police came to his dorm room to investigate a burglary after a neighbor heard a crash. So the police came and found a potted plant thrown threw a window, some handguns and rifles and what else...oh yeah, three chicks in Josh's bed. For some reason Josh claimed one of the girls was his girlfriend and the other two were her friends and they were sleeping on the floor. Can't you just say to the cops "be cool" and they just go away in situations like that?
--Ummm, note to Andy Reid's son, Garret: yeah, when you get arrested and sent to jail probably not a good idea to stick a pillbox up your ass because you think you're smart enough to smuggle in your fun Flintstones.
That’s What I’m Talking About
Anytime you can split in a back to back in Texas you’re doing just fine. When these Rockets are on, they’re freakin’ on! Just think how good they’d be if Steve Francis played. Obviously they’d be 4-0 and probably be considered just a notch below the Patriots on the dominant teams scale. Seriously people why all the love for a guy everyone was happy to see leave a few years ago? I don’t get it, but I also didn’t get the guy who called me on Feedback Tuesday and said Bonzi was worthless. I don’t like the way he acted last year, but the guy is one valuable, versatile, and (umm need another ‘v’ word let’s go with) voluptuous (means good rebounder right?) player and apparently he is part-owner of the Spurs. Time to roll the Bucks and Bobcats and finish up the first two weeks at 6-1. This is gonna be fun.
--The NBA Live jinx (if there is one) is in full effect. Coverboy Gilbert Arenas is shooting 33% and just 1 for 17 from beyond the arc.
--Jay Williams is doing motivational speeches?! No offense, but ummm, is he going to motivate us to not throw away millions of dollars by riding motorcycles? I mean he didn’t come back to the NBA after that so don’t know what inspiration he can provide, but good luck with that.
--We’re only a week and a half in, but Rasheed Wallace has yet to get T’d up.
--Seriously Dennis Rodman wants to coach in the WNBA.
--Is Baron Davis from Europe and we didn't know it?
--A special Charles Barkley Air Force 1 Rockets shoe?!
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--For some reason this took waaaay longer than it should have to come out and I’m sure the audiobook is outstanding, but Borat is now an author. This from an interview with Reuters:
Q: Who do you favor for President in the United States?
A: "I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A - in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun - very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas to be Premier."
--Last season wasn’t anything special, but Scrubs this season is definitely going out a winner.
--After three years Evangeline realized she was engaged to a hobbit. No offense, Charlie.
--A “Wag of the Finger” to the South Carolina Democratic Executive Council which voted last week to keep Stephen Colbert off the state’s primary ballot because they’re skeered. Even worse news is that this writers’ strike which I didn’t care about until now is keeping The Daily Show and Colbert off the air. Awwww, sonuvabitch! I just read the last new episode of The Office airs next week because Steve Carell isn’t gonna cross the picket line. Good for him, bad for us. Looks like Danny is gonna catch up on some movies.
--Mikkel Kessler is good, very good. Joe Calzaghe is great, very great. I like Bernard Hopkins the man, I just hate watching his fights, but I’m down with a Calzaghe/Hopkins fight. How weird was it seeing Oscar de la Hoya on a Showtime promotion? What a bad cut caused by a headbutt that Rocky had to fight through all night. I don’t think it would’ve mattered either way though, he’s just not as good as Juan Manuel Marquez. No shame in that. JMM and Pacquiao need to meet again now.
--Something you're bound to see more of are cell phone jammers. Apparently these little bad boys can send out a powerful signal that jams the communication between cell phones and towers with a range working from several feet to several yards. They're totally illegal because radio frequencies for cells are protected by the FCC, but damn wouldn't it be totally cool to knock off the cell of that punk kid talking in the movie theater or the punk kid in the grocery line or the punk kid who is sitting at the green light talking on his phone or the punk kid...basically the punk kids and those of you who are adults with celly addictions. I know restaurant managers are loving this technology.
--A “Wag of the Finger” to the South Carolina Democratic Executive Council which voted last week to keep Stephen Colbert off the state’s primary ballot because they’re skeered. Even worse news is that this writers’ strike which I didn’t care about until now is keeping The Daily Show and Colbert off the air. Awwww, sonuvabitch! I just read the last new episode of The Office airs next week because Steve Carell isn’t gonna cross the picket line. Good for him, bad for us. Looks like Danny is gonna catch up on some movies.
--Mikkel Kessler is good, very good. Joe Calzaghe is great, very great. I like Bernard Hopkins the man, I just hate watching his fights, but I’m down with a Calzaghe/Hopkins fight. How weird was it seeing Oscar de la Hoya on a Showtime promotion? What a bad cut caused by a headbutt that Rocky had to fight through all night. I don’t think it would’ve mattered either way though, he’s just not as good as Juan Manuel Marquez. No shame in that. JMM and Pacquiao need to meet again now.
--Something you're bound to see more of are cell phone jammers. Apparently these little bad boys can send out a powerful signal that jams the communication between cell phones and towers with a range working from several feet to several yards. They're totally illegal because radio frequencies for cells are protected by the FCC, but damn wouldn't it be totally cool to knock off the cell of that punk kid talking in the movie theater or the punk kid in the grocery line or the punk kid who is sitting at the green light talking on his phone or the punk kid...basically the punk kids and those of you who are adults with celly addictions. I know restaurant managers are loving this technology.
--Owen Wilson and Jessica Simpson?!
--How great were the Imaginationland shows?
--Really China, 3,491 people with the name "Aoyun" meaning Olympics?! There are also more than 4,000 Chinese with names of the five mascots Bei Bei, Jing Jing, Huan Huan, Ying Ying, and Ni Ni. Geez parents I know there are nearly 6,000 people named Yao Ming, but can't you come up with something a little better than Jing Jing?
--Interesting story in London developing for the Law Lords to decide. The piece of crap in question is Iorworth Hoare who was jailed in 1989 for the rape of an elderly woman. So this guy goes to jail penniless back then. Then in 2004 he bought a lottery ticket during day release from prison and this happened just before he went free on parole. So the piece of crap is 7 million pounds the richer. Now the rape victim wants the money she should have gotten and more. The High Court ruled her compensation claim was outside the legal six-year limit to sue for damages. The Appeal Court agreed. Now the Law Lords (sounds so much cooler than Supreme Court) are looking to see if this is fair, which it obviously is not.
--We have two fun in the sun Florida stories. First in Jacksonville where Final Destination made an appearance. A 19-year-old guy was on a bridge standing over his bike when a car smacked him. Dude shook it off and jumped over the concrete barrier where he started to then walk before, yeah, another car hit him. I assume the ambulance didn't come and finish him off since he's in serious condition in the hospital.
--In Orlando we head to a church for a funeral. Some guy walks up to the open casket and starts wailing away on the corpse. Then people started beating the crap out of that guy until cops came and took the guy away. Nobody knows who he was or why picked a fight with a dead guy.
--Flight of the Conchords on DVD is out! You should already have four copies by now.
--Fight! Fight!
--Larry isn't getting back Cheryl is he? That's okay as long as Leon stays on board we'll all be fine.
--Damn between Southland Tales, American Gangster, No Country for Old Men, and There Will Be Blood all coming up I may have to get my ass to a theater! First things first though, gotta see Bee Movie. How hilarious does that look especially since the endless commercials for it are so funny? There's not enough smoke and honey in the world to make that entertaining.
--Remember a few Curbs ago when Larry's date to the play, the exterminator, stomped all over that hideous rat-looking dog? Another deadly stomp comes our way except this one was real and on a football field. It happened at a high school in Utah where two dumbass players released a pheasant onto the practice field. Assistant coach Richard Layton takes it from there, "After several minutes of unsuccessful attempts by others to catch the bird, it came running toward me on the sideline. In an effort to pin down the bird, I tried to stop it with my foot, causing me to lose my balance."
Yeah, Assistant Football Coach - 1 Pheasant - 0
The bird had to be euthanized and the coach was cited for animal cruelty.
Assistant Football Coach - 1 Pheasant - 1
Tie goes to whoever is still alive.
--How great were the Imaginationland shows?
--Really China, 3,491 people with the name "Aoyun" meaning Olympics?! There are also more than 4,000 Chinese with names of the five mascots Bei Bei, Jing Jing, Huan Huan, Ying Ying, and Ni Ni. Geez parents I know there are nearly 6,000 people named Yao Ming, but can't you come up with something a little better than Jing Jing?
--Interesting story in London developing for the Law Lords to decide. The piece of crap in question is Iorworth Hoare who was jailed in 1989 for the rape of an elderly woman. So this guy goes to jail penniless back then. Then in 2004 he bought a lottery ticket during day release from prison and this happened just before he went free on parole. So the piece of crap is 7 million pounds the richer. Now the rape victim wants the money she should have gotten and more. The High Court ruled her compensation claim was outside the legal six-year limit to sue for damages. The Appeal Court agreed. Now the Law Lords (sounds so much cooler than Supreme Court) are looking to see if this is fair, which it obviously is not.
--We have two fun in the sun Florida stories. First in Jacksonville where Final Destination made an appearance. A 19-year-old guy was on a bridge standing over his bike when a car smacked him. Dude shook it off and jumped over the concrete barrier where he started to then walk before, yeah, another car hit him. I assume the ambulance didn't come and finish him off since he's in serious condition in the hospital.
--In Orlando we head to a church for a funeral. Some guy walks up to the open casket and starts wailing away on the corpse. Then people started beating the crap out of that guy until cops came and took the guy away. Nobody knows who he was or why picked a fight with a dead guy.
--Flight of the Conchords on DVD is out! You should already have four copies by now.
--Fight! Fight!
--Larry isn't getting back Cheryl is he? That's okay as long as Leon stays on board we'll all be fine.
--Damn between Southland Tales, American Gangster, No Country for Old Men, and There Will Be Blood all coming up I may have to get my ass to a theater! First things first though, gotta see Bee Movie. How hilarious does that look especially since the endless commercials for it are so funny? There's not enough smoke and honey in the world to make that entertaining.
--Remember a few Curbs ago when Larry's date to the play, the exterminator, stomped all over that hideous rat-looking dog? Another deadly stomp comes our way except this one was real and on a football field. It happened at a high school in Utah where two dumbass players released a pheasant onto the practice field. Assistant coach Richard Layton takes it from there, "After several minutes of unsuccessful attempts by others to catch the bird, it came running toward me on the sideline. In an effort to pin down the bird, I tried to stop it with my foot, causing me to lose my balance."
Yeah, Assistant Football Coach - 1 Pheasant - 0
The bird had to be euthanized and the coach was cited for animal cruelty.
Assistant Football Coach - 1 Pheasant - 1
Tie goes to whoever is still alive.
--More high school football fun....In Washington two high school teams lined up to shake hands when one 17-year-old dumbass decided it would be cool to have his folding knife in his hand and cut some of the opposing players since they beat his team down 55-7. He cut three guys before everyone figured out who was going Last Boy Scout lite.
--Apparently it's not enough that UT-Austin has the hottest chicks in the state, now UT-San Antonio could be getting a porn club. Some dancer/student, Riley Jackson Starr, is putting Club X together to watch and discuss sexually oriented materials. The club still needs a professor to be an official advisor. Seems like that won't be hard to find.
--RIP Fabulous Moolah...
Questions, comments or if you're pissed because you didn't know new Everybody Hates Chris shows have started...
--RIP Fabulous Moolah...
Questions, comments or if you're pissed because you didn't know new Everybody Hates Chris shows have started...
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