It's The Joint...

How'd That Taste Cowboys?

I know, I know, it's only the preseason, but holy crap that stadium didn't have any sort of preseason feel in it.

My worthless BCS Championship Prediction: LSU vs. West Virginia.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Nothing screams nutrition like The State Fair of Texas. There are seven new food creations set to be unleashed upon the masses on the heels of last year's hot item, Deep Fried Coke. This year we get Deep Fried Latte, which sounds okay, wait instant coffee powder?! Fried Cookie Dough starts as chilled cookie dough and then is battered and fried, which sounds worse than Fried Coke. Fried Guacamole Bites anyone? Country Pride Peach Cobbler on a Stick? Fernie's Fried Chili Frito Burrito? Chili and Fritos go inside a tortilla, which is ten fried and then topped with a cheese sauce and shredded cheese and whatever else you want. B.W.'s Original Fried Banana Pudding? I don't know banana pudding inside a fried tortilla is genius or nausea-inducing. Finally Mama's Fried Sweet Potato Pie, which starts with sweet potato so yeah, that's nasty.


--If you're high then you might enjoy this more, if you're not high then I think your day is going pretty shi***...


--Your "So Obvious, That It's Bound To Not Turn Out Right" story of the week comes to us from Sacramento. Jaqueline Coats is from Kenya and came over on a student visa. When that expired she married her boyfriend who was from San Francisco and they lived happily ever after, for all of three weeks. Three weeks in they were at Ocean Beach and saw two boys in the water screaming for help. Husband, Marlin, jumped into the water and was able to save the boys, but not himself as he was pulled under. Now the widow faces deportation. Senator Dianne Feinstein is involved and hopefully Mrs. Coats doesn't get deported all because her husband acted like a hero.

--Seriously Owen Wilson, WTF?!

--Heroes and Friday Night Lights are now out on DVD and that's a very good thing.

--So what was the point of the whole Anna Faris thing on Entourage? I mean they build up her and Eric and then it's over just like that? Weak, but the less Eric the better. I only wish the episode would've turned into Final Destination with everyone getting off the plane except E and Billy. And Billy should never be shown without his girlfriend. She makes him almost tolerable.

--Another Faces of Death movie?! Apparently this one is going to have a narrative story. I think I've almost managed to erase the memory of that Asian family who takes the puppy and well, you can imagine. My favorite is the bungee jumper who set up his cord for one floor too many because he didn't take into account the building didn't have an unlucky 13th floor.

--Copycat Carlos Mencia is going to host the Creative Emmys?! The two Coreys hosting the Oscars?!

--Shia Lebouf and Rihanna?!

--Your Considerate Criminal of the Week comes to us from Greenburgh, New York. There the knife-wielding (not named Rafer Alston) robber saw a guy come out of the store with one of those cheap ass plastic roses and well, let's let Police Captain Joseph DeCarlo tell the rest of the story. "He (victim) came out of the store and was approached by the suspect, who said, 'Give me the rose,'" DeCarlo said. "The kid told him, 'Go in there and get one.' But the suspect says, 'I want that one, and your money, too,' and pulls out a knife. All the kid has is a $10, and the perp says, 'I only want $4.' He tells the kid to go into the pizza parlor and get change. Then the kid comes out, he takes his $4 and he leaves." WTF?!

--I didn't see all the contestants, but I have a hard time believing there was a dumber Miss USA Teen candidate than Miss South Carolina and also that there was a hotter one.

--Your Piece of Crap Dumbass Rapist of the Week comes to us from Alameda County. There a 47-year-old female real estate agent was showing a house to a supposed buyer when supposed buyer turned out to be a rapist who choked the woman, raped her and robbed her for good measure. The piece of crap's name is Howard Moore. During the attack the woman plotted to make this mf'er pay so she tried to befriend him to gain his trust. She said she wasn't going to call the police and would arrange a job interview for him the next day to work as security or a bodyguard. She was afraid Howard wasn't going to ever be arrested so she wanted to exact some vigilante justice. Either way she was going to have to count on Howard being an absolute dumbass. Thanks Howard. The woman decided to go ahead and tell the police about the set-up interview and they probably didn't expect Howard to show up. They didn't know Howard who is now back behind bars.

Questions, comments or if you ever spat out Jager in a casino trash can…

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Versatile Little 1950's Jackets

The Land of Lost Jackets...it's that place where vintage suits get separated. The dresses go one way, the skirts another, and, sadly, the jackets get separated from their mates. Alas, your chances of finding an exact match are almost nil.

We don't know how it happens. Perhaps the skirt was worn more often than the jacket and wore out before it's mate and so was sent to skirt heaven. But the jacket was in great shape, so it stayed in the back of the closet.

Maybe a favorite dress came with a jacket that just didn't work, so it was given away or hung separately from it's mate, while the dress became the life of the party.

Whatever the reason, these lost jackets have a new life to lead! They look great paired with your favorite jeans or trousers. Co-ordinate them with a plaid or tweed skirt from your closet. Throw them on over a sleeveless sheath dress to keep you warm on those cool autumn mornings. Finish your outfit in style!

See these jackets and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Yeah, You Know I'm Getting Silly

--In case you haven’t seen some of these Fantasy Files….






Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--If you hadn’t heard HBO picked up Flight of the Conchords for a 2nd season. No-fn-brainer. Entourage got a 5th season and here’s to Billy Walsh not being in it.

--Tell me Vinnie Chase is not dating Paris.

--20/20 doing a report on Dateline’s To Catch a Predator?! Oh, hell yeah, it’s on!

--Criss Angel and Britney?! Once upon a time, I thought Criss Angel's stuff was kinda cool. Then I saw Mind Control with Derren Brown. Criss Angel = bo-ring.

--The spoof of Walk the Line with John C. Reilly and Jenna Fischer in the principal roles sounds promising, but the trailer wasn't all that great. Although how can you not want to see Paul Rudd as John Lennon and Jack White as Elvis?

--According to him and the Moscow site this is from, Maroon 5’s Adam Levine dated Maria Sharapova until, well, "She wouldn't make any noise during sex. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration.' It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny."

--Because apparently having Hayden Panettiere around isn’t enough young eye candy Heroes is bringing in Janel Parrish who was in the awesome live-action Bratz movie! Oh and happy 18th to Hayden.

--Tina Fey funny…

--In case you were wondering, yeah, Superbad is OUT-STANDING!

--Last week I nearly had to suck it up and throw down a huge link of sausage because if Bum Phillips offers you a meat product you eat it, no matter how long you’ve been a vegetarian. Otherwise I’d have to tell Living Legend Bum Phillips,
Veggie Boy: “umm, no thanks, Bum. I’m a vegetarian.”
To which Bum would, no doubt, respond, “uhhh, you like men?”
Veggie Boy: “No Bum, I just don’t eat meat.”
Bum: “I reckon it’s that cowboy movie’s fault.”
Veggie Boy: “No, Bum, I’m a vegetarian, not a homosexual.” “Veg-e-tar”
Bum: “Ho-mo”
Veggie Boy: “Veg-e-tar-ian”
Bum: “Ho-mo-sex-u-al”
Veggie Boy: “Fine, just give me that f’n pork product.”
Bum: “Attaboy, we’ll get you back playing for our team in no time.”

--Dammit Tito! Why come back for Roy Jones Jr.?!

--It seems like the UFC has been on vacation forever what with no PPVs in weeks and no Ultimate Fighter to follow. Not good when my MMA fix is provided by Human Weapon on History Channel. Thankfully this week we have UFC 74. Looking forward to watching Kendall Grove face off against Patrick Cote. I’m not complaining, but is Roger Huerta on every card? Georges St. Pierre and Josh Koscheck can’t possibly be any more boring than Koscheck/Sanchez. How can you ever doubt Randy Couture? Couture v. Gonzaga.

--As usual the ESPN Fantasy Draft Special was a classic. It was just eight teams so you think nobody would do anything very stupid, but of course, Michael Smith decided with the 8th and 9th selections he’d go Carson Palmer and Marvin Harrison. Huh?! First of all Marvin was the first WR taken and that probably won’t happen in another draft this year because, well it’s f’n stoopid. Yeah, Shaun Alexander fell all the way to 13th or 8 spots AFTER Laurence Maroney (Salisbury, shock, I know). Salisbury also picked Calvin Johnson 44th overall ahead of guys like Portis, Anquan, Randy Moss, and Ronnie Brown. Just awful.

--A Ferris Bueller sequel?! Apparently the script has been written, but just not by John Hughes. In this one Ferris is turning 40 after a career being a self-help, Tony Robbins-type. The entire cast would be back with Ferris’ sister, Jennifer Grey, married to Charlie Sheen. Cameron would be back. The lovely Sloan is now a Hollywood actress going through a rough marriage. The writer, Rick Rapier, would even like to bring back Ben Stein. Intriguing, but c’mon they’re gonna be able to get all those people back?

--Next week Friday Night Lights comes out on DVD! Eat it Barron!

--The old, suave guy on the next Dancing With The Stars will be Wayne Newton.

--Speaking of Dancing, Mike Modano is marrying Willa Ford.

--You’ve probably seen those promos for Kid Nation where basically kids get to run a town free from the constraints of their adult overlords. Yeah, a parent of one of the kids has filed a complaint and the show hasn’t even aired yet. Apparently her kid burned herself with hot grease when cooking and some kids accidentally drank some bleach and blah, blah, blah. Hello parents? I’m pretty sure CBS explained the concept of no-adults to you before you sent your kids away. Just because your kids weren’t as smart as you thought don’t blame television. Television is our friend and never, ever to blame.

--Greg Giraldo and Jimmy Kimmel killed at Flav’s roast. Brigitte Nielsen was there and her vagina starred in a majority of the jokes such as Sylvester Stallone leaving his car. To Flav, “You look like a skeleton wrapped in electrical tape.”

--Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak and Kathy Griffin?!

--If you’re keeping track at home Kristen Bell will not be on Lost, but will be on Heroes. Lost will get Carter Chong who was Uncle Junior’s crazy friend at the crazy house. Also Ryan Seacrest will be hosting The Emmys and The Super Bowl so we have that going for us.

--Extended cut of Transformers at IMAX late next month?!

--Your unfortunate gaming accident of the week comes to us from North Carolina. There a 14-year-old boy kept having his X-Box 360 cut off on him because it was overheating. He read online that he needed to cool the power supply. He decided to place it in a pan of cold water. But he’s no dumbass so he wrapped the 360 up in plastic and tape first. Yet somehow through the mysteries of science and water and electricity he ended up being knocked unconscious with several small burns.

--Forbes came out with a list of Hip Hop Cash Kings. At # 1 is of course, Jay-Z who pulled in $34 million in 2006. Fiddy at # 2. I hope Kanye outsells him next month when their albums drop on the same day then again I hoped Wild Hogs wouldn't be # 1 for a week in the theatres. Kanye pulled "only" $ 17 million. Diddy at # 3. Timbaland follows him. Dre and Eminem at 5 and 6 and now you know.

Questions, comments or if you’re completely unprepared for your fantasy drafts this year…

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Looking for Plus Size Vintage?

Finding great vintage clothing in plus sizes without looking dowdy is not easy. At a recent auction I attended, there were 3 racks of plus size vintage clothing from the 1940's and 50's, most still with the original tags attached! Believe me, I fought long and hard to win those racks of dresses for you, and I've listed a few today in my EBay store. Many of them are summer styles, so I'll wait to list those in the spring, but here are a few of the fall and cocktail dresses listed now:

All of the dresses were clipped to the mannequin to approximate actual fit. They all have bust measurements between 49" and 51".

See these dresses and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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See I've Got Heart Like John Starks

The Good (Babin is that you?), The Bad (I’m looking at you Mario), and The Ugly (Bradlee, wow)

Anytime Mario Williams wants to play like the # 1 overall pick would be fine by me. Just give us something. Help us try to get past that awful, terrible, stupid ass mistake of epic proportions. Not a good sign when Rex Grossman opens up the game against you with eight straight completions. We knew the secondary was going to be a weakness and now without Glenn Earl, well, sh**. The defensive line is going to have to really pick it up now. Jason Babin actually had himself a nice little game as did Earl Cochran. Zac Diles has been making plays every day in camp and looked good once again on Saturday. Kevin Walter is supposed to have hands, but I don’t see him use them enough. C’mon offense twice you start series inside the Chicago 25-yard line and all you manage is 14 yards?! And why aren’t you going for it in a preseason game on 4th and goal at the 2? Jacoby Jones and Jerome Mathis put on a special teams show and those guys handled their receiving duties fine as well. North and south, Jacoby. North and south. Hey offensive line, if you guys feel like run blocking I’m pretty sure the RBs feel like running. All in all it looked like preseason game number 1.

--Apparently four NFL teams are offering its home fans hand-held TVs that get Sunday Ticket for the cost of $24.95. The Texans are one of the four?! That would be outstanding news.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--This isn’t getting nearly enough run, but Bobby Jenks has retired 41 straight batters to tie the MLB record. Jenks has refused to talk to the press until the streak is over.

--Mrs. Gold has always been hot, but wow bra and panties for an entire scene was just outstanding. As soon as they got away from the stupid ass Billy Walsh/E pissing contests the show became entertaining again. Let’s keep it that way. I don’t know which song I was happier to hear Snow’s “Informer” or Another Bad Creation’s “Playground”.

--Ari is to Entourage what Murray is to Flight of the Conchords.

--Wednesday is National Creamsicle Day! Wednesday is also Business Time. Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place and I teach her how to use the video machine again. But Wednesday night is the night that we make love…

--Sticking with the Conchords, October 29th is the early word on a possible date for the DVD of Season One. HBO has yet to make the no-brainer decision to pick it up for Season Two.

--Bruce Willis and Karen McDougal?!

--Surely by now you've seen this, but if not...


--Nice job by the fans at the TNA PPV making it rain on Pac Man with Monopoly money. Pac Man you don’t want none of Ron “The Truth” Killings…

--Nice to have you back Weeds! Kevin Nealon is born to play that role.

--Wait, now BOTH Coreys are going to be in The Lost Boys sequel? Autumn Reeser from The O.C. is the female lead? Kiefer Sutherland’s half-brother will be in it too?! This all sounds very promising…

--I saw about five minutes of Flav’s Roast and unfortunately it was Brigitte Nielsen’s five minutes. Oh, God, that was bad.

--Scratch that…apparently Kristen Bell isn’t going to be on Lost next season. Surely it’s not because she didn’t want to move to Hawaii because I hear Hawaii is kinda nice.

--“Eye poppin’ moves like the centipede…”


--Rock won Hell’s Kitchen because, well, his competition was Bonnie.

--Multiple dumbasses of the week. We head to Eugene, Oregon where some vice squad cops busted a meth dealer at his apartment. So they have their badges hanging around their necks and latex gloves on and here comes a knock, knock on the door. This meth-head asks the dealer right in front of the cops, “Can you hook me up? I really need a 30.” The dealer who is sitting handcuffed tells the guy he can’t hook him up seeing as how he’s in the process of being arrested. Soon the meth-head joined him in handcuffs on the couch. And of course right after this another dumbass enters with seven bags of meth which he stuffed into his mouth as soon as he saw the cops. Yeah, he was busted too. Then finally one more dumbass enters carrying an illegal butterfly knife, which he claimed he was going to use to scare the dealer from continuing to sell to his girlfriend. Yeah, he got a citation.

--Some of you liked it, I never gave it a chance, but the John from Cincinnati experiment is over for HBO.

--Congratulations to us as in just two decades we Americans have managed to drop from 11th to 42nd in life expectancy.

--Superbad is getting a 95% on rottentomatoes.com.

--King Leonidas/Gerard Butler as Snake Plissken in the Escape from New York remake?!

--Not only did the awesome Wild Hogs come out on DVD this week, but there’s an alternate ending on it! Can’t wait to sit down with that! Why Dr. Cox, why?

--There’s a U2 documentary that has some “rare footage of them in the studio” that will be shown next month at The Toronto Film Festival. Sounds promising.

Bono and The Killers' Brandon Flowers?! Out-standing!

--Filipino prisons don’t look so bad.

--If you’re keeping score at home, David Lee Roth back with Van Halen.

Questions, comments or if you remember when Jenna Jamison was hot…

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My Favorite Decade

I love the fashions of the 1930's. The silhouette was long and lean with lots of intricate details and elaborate seaming we just don't see anymore. Take this dress, for example. This is a simple black rayon crepe dress, but look how dramatic it becomes when the upper bodice and shoulders are accented with sheer black chiffon. 1" wide bands of the crepe are appliqued a scant 1/4" away from the edge of the seam where the chiffon and crepe meet. Those bands are perfectly straight with no ripples or uneven seams, as they would be if I tried to sew them!

As if that is not enough, the lower sleeves also have angled insets of the sheer chiffon with the decorative bands at the upper edge. Maybe one of the reasons I like this dress so much is because, as a seamstress, I can appreciate the hard work that went into the details. They just don't make 'em like they used to!

See this dress and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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So Why All The Fight, Why All The Fuss?

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Gettin' closer...


--The next edition of The Contender begins next month on ESPN. Trainers Tommy Gallagher and that other guy are gone replaced by Buddy McGirt and Pepe Correa. Also this group of fighters will have more experience than past groups and more of the fights will be shown during the 60 minute show and the entire fights will also be broadcast at some point (took long enough).
--If you missed Israel Vasquez and Rafael Marquez, you screwed up.

--Thanks for the thrills, Erik Morales.


--I still have yet to catch The Coreys, but I did come across this line, which will likely never be topped. Corey Haim to Corey Feldman’s wife, "Face it, you're not one of the Corey's and you never will be!"

Paula Abdul thinks Corey Haim cries too much for no reason.

--Best news of the week…Weeds returns this Monday night at 9!

--I’ve never been to Anaheim to watch the Angels play so I haven’t eaten there which is something I have going for me. Over the last 2 and a half years it has received 118 vermin violations. Thirty-three of those were “major violations” for “rodent activity.” Over the same time period Petco Park and Dodger Stadium combined had just 9 similar violations. Overall food safety violations since 2005 at Anaheim Stadium – 1,479. Yum!

--Your crazy man of the cloth this week comes to us from Denver. Reverend Robert Whipkey enjoys jogging at the local high school track just before sunrise when it’s nice and cool….and he’s also less likely to be seen jogging in all his nude glory before God. The Reverend told cops he sweats too much if he wears clothes while running.

--Rappin’ With The Stars on MTV?! Nick Carter? Nicole Eggert? Perez Hilton? Oh boy.

--Seriously Angie Everhart and Joe Pesci?!

--Both Fiddy and Kanye are dropping new albums on September 11th. Apparently they may also take part in a debate to argue who has the better album. Yeah, I think I’ll take Kanye in this one. Bodog is taking bets on whose first day album sales will be higher...Fiddy is the favorite.

--Siskel and Ebert are funny.


--Ridley Scott with a movie version of Monopoly?!

--Ding, Dong The Simple Life is dead. So is its bastardized version which was to feature Kelly Osbourne and Kimberley Stewart. Now E! is going with some show centered around Kim Kardashian and her T & A and maybe her sisters too.

--Kristen Bell is gonna join Lost?!

--Great news for those of you who need your Billy Spanoulis fix. NBA Live ’08 will have eight international teams including Greece and China.

--Lil’ Romeo is not going to be on USC’s basketball team, right?

--Dax Shepard somehow convinced Kate Hudson he was good for her. This quote from Kate in Harper’s Bazaar reveals just how lucky Dax is, “As primal beings, men are not supposed to be monogamous. When people ask, ‘Do you believe in monogamy?’ Well, of course that’s what you want. But part of what I love about men is that it’s hard for them to be monogamous. Women, I think, need to spend more time understanding men than changing men. And vice versa.”

--You really may have a hard time believing this, but July was the rainiest month in Texas since 1903.

--If you were wondering how cops in Thailand are disciplined when they screw up and I know you were…Cops who commit minor infractions like littering or being tardy will now be forced to wear pink armbands with Hello Kitty on them for an entire day.

--Kobe and the lovely and apparently extremely understanding Mrs. Kobe may or may not be getting a divorce. Either way probably would’ve been a smart idea to get a prenup Kobe.

----Best news you will hear today...NBC will bring you the viewer 3,600 hours of coverage from the 2008 Olympics in Beijing!!!!!! Can you stand the wait!!!!!

--Rocky Juarez and Juan Manuel Marquez on September 16th. Good luck Rocko, you're going to need it.

--F-Cup Cookies?! Yep, new from Japan these wonderful cookies contain 50 mg of a breast enhancing herb, so there ya go.

--How hilarious does Super Bad look?

--Sure thing Rookie of the Year Ryan Braun hit his 21st HR on Monday. That's the fastest to 21 since some guy named Mark McGwire did it back in '87.

--Jonny Quest live-action movie in the works.

--Gotta love Yankee rookie Shelley Duncan using Icky Thump as his music when he steps to the plate. Ryan Freel cannot possibly come out to Tom’s Diner, right? I mean why would he want everyone in the stands to get that earworm for the rest of the night. Big shock, Mike Myers comes out to Halloween.

--Nothing makes you feel alive like the sting of a jellyfish. More than 400 swimmers at a beach in Florida over the weekend were stung. In case you are keep in mind that rubbing fresh water over the sting only reactivates the toxic poisons.

Questions, comments or if you're mad that you didn't think to invent a Michael Vick dog chewtoy before that company in Florida did...

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Ah-Choo! Artist Signed Hankies

Before the onslaught of Kleenex, proper ladies always had a hankie or two at hand. Whether slipped into a purse or pocket, one always needed a hankie to deal with such indelicacies as sneezes, lipstick smudges, or Junior's sticky hands. But the hankie had another purpose. In a world of proper, ladylike solids and prints on her clothing, a woman could express a bit of her personal style with a printed handkerchief in an unusual and artistic design.

Several textile artists became known for their signed prints on ladies hankies in the 1950's. Tammis Keefe is perhaps the most prized, as her designs were prolific and unusual. The example above is one of her famous antique furniture prints.

This hankie by Jeanne Miller has a lovely Fall design of squashes and gourds with cattails and sheafs of wheat.

And this one by Betty Anderson has a sweet design of roses worked in an unusual bright vibrant orange.

Who needs a calendar on the wall when you can carry one on your hankie? While this one is not signed, I just love the uniqueness of the design. This one is from 1960, by the way.

See these hankies and more vintage accessories at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Because She's The Cheese And I'm The Macaroni

Same Ol’ Bullsh**
The non-waiver trade deadline has come and gone and Mark Loretta is still with the team. Mike Lamb is still with the team. Jason Jennings is still with the team. Brian Moehler and Orlando Palmeiro still take up roster spots that could be filled with, I don’t know, guys who might be a part of the club’s future. Whatever. It’s been a crappy year from the top of the organization to the bottom (I’m looking at you Jason Lane, Morgan Ensberg, etc.). The good news is if Loretta and Lamb leave after the season the Astros will have some compensation draft picks coming their way!! Oh boy!! Considering recent drafts this is very promising news!! Astros fever, catch it!

--Seriously Pirates you wanted Matt Morris? Um, 7.94 ERA since June. Um, $9.5 million you owe him next season. Um, your highest paid player in franchise history is now Matt Morris.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Yeah, OJ, probably not a good idea to do an interview complete with call-in questions because well you might get a question like the one Kevin asked you…

Alex: “Remember when you played for the 49ers?”
OJ: “Yes”
Alex: “Did you kill Bill Walsh?”

--Next week we’ll start hitting more on the Texans since preseason game # 1 is barely more than a week away.

--I’m not sure, but I think the abomination (with the exception of Erin Andrews’ appearance) known as “Who’s Now” is over.

--Your waste of time study this week comes to us from the Forty Acres. UT researchers explored 237 reasons why men and women make sexytime. The # 1 reason? They are attracted to the other person. Wow, who would’ve thought that? Almost all of the top 10 reasons given by each sex matched what the other sex said. Although men listed “I wanted to please my partner” as a reason while women didn’t. Females listed “I realized I was in love”, which didn’t make the men’s top 10. The bottom 5 reasons for relations are much more fun to look at it. The # 1 bottom reason women have relations…”I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease.” That’s reassuring right, fellas? That’s the # 2 bottom reason for men, with our # 1 bottom being, “the person offered to give me drugs for it.” “Someone offered me money to do it” and “I wanted a raise” are 2 and 3 bottom reasons for the ladies. I don’t really get how # 3 bottom reason was even listed since it’s “I wanted to punish myself.” Punish yourself by smashing?

--Kevin Smith is going to write and direct the first episode of Heroes: Origins?! Obviously he watches the show, "The Japanese dudes are gay, right?"

--Seriously Pacman Jones in TNA wrestling?!

--You’ve probably already seen this, but in case you have not…


--Wait. Jessica Alba broke up with Cash whoever because Cash whoever didn’t want to get married?! Uhhh, he’s gonna do better?

--New Zealand has given us Flight of the Conchords and now NZ presents us with vegansexuals – vegans who only give up the booty to other vegans. Apparently many females are attracted to meat-eaters, but the thought of having relations with someone whose body is made up of animal carcasses gets them out of the mood.

--The Celtics are interested in Deke?!

--Now that’s the Entourage I know and love. “Furries have feelings too.”

--Your dumbass of the week comes to us from the Indiana football team. Tight end Blake Powers was arrested on Monday after he decided to do some water balloon tossing. Dude is supposed to be a senior so I’m not sure what the fascination is with a water balloon at that age. But anyway, Blake saw an open car window and lobbed his balloon through it striking the driver…who also happened to be an off-duty police officer. Whoops.

--It’s down to Rock and the lovely Bonnie on Hell’s Kitchen. Worst set of “chefs” ever. There’s no way Bonnie wins, right?

--Damages has been strong on FX. Ted Danson is killing as Frobisher.

--Back in the day a friend of mine had a dad who couldn’t smell so it made things convenient whenever she wanted to smoke ganja (of course, I never took part because that stuff will make you forget stuff, now where was I). Oh yeah, it was good for her, bad for her dad. Bad also for Eugene Pilouw whose diabetes affects the nerves in his nose. Eugene lives in Harlingen and noticed on July 12th that his wife hadn’t been around. He thought she had left him, which she had done in the past. Yeah, their daughter came home three days later and was looking for a cat carrier. So she went to the back of the house to a storage room and noticed a strange smell which unfortunately ended up being her dead mother.

--Because you obviously need to be aware of this…20,000 males in the U.S. last year had breast reduction surgery. 14,000 of those boys were 13-19 years old. Merle Yost is now 35 and trying to raise awareness of gynecomastia or enlarged male breasts. Yost’s experiences as a child, “At 11, I started developing breasts. I was tortured in school. Boys gave me titty-twisters. Girls offered me their bras. I had a coach who kept deliberately putting me on the ‘skins’ team.” None of that is in the least bit funny.

--Your uncoordinated car passenger of the week comes to us from Pensacola. There Miguel Rogelio was riding shotgun as his friend drover along U.S. Highway 29. Miguel felt the need to spit and so he decided to open his door…and of course, he fell out and smacked his head. Somehow he’s still alive.

--You checked out Mind Control with Derren Brown on Sci-Fi yet?

--Minister Tommy Tester was in Johnson City, Tennessee the other day enjoying the car wash while dressed in the usual car wash attire…a skirt. Some guys were there and thought Tommy was acting a little weird especially when Tommy decided to take a piss (no word on if he stood or squatted). The police decided to come by and the quick thinking Tommy offered them sexual favors. Yeah, that didn’t go over well, even in Tennessee. Cops found a bottle of vodka and empty bottle of oxycodone in Tommy’s car and Tommy went to jail.

--In case you missed it, Troy Hudson and the T’wovles agreed to a buyout. Oh and Troy Hudson’s album that dropped on July 17th sold all of 78 copies in its first week.

Questions, comments, or if that’s what you’re into…

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