You lie and aspire to be as cunning

And Then There Were Four

Another weekend of the Madness and now we’re down to the biggest of the big boys. I had it coming down to Florida and Georgetown and I see no reason to back off of that now. That Hoyas win was just incredible and a fitting end to the Elite 8 action. Wha happened North Carolina? There was no way the Tar Heels should have lost that game. 1 for 23 over a 15-minute span?! Up 11 with 12:22 to go?! If he doesn’t get the Most Outstanding Player honor, Jeff Green should at least collect Tournament’s Most BMF. Sure he walked all over the place in that Vandy win, but that was a helluva shot. Greg Oden and Roy Hibbert in one game and then a rematch of last year’s title game follows with UCLA and Florida. Yeah, Saturday might be a pretty good day.

--Every Hoya starter put up at least 13 points. Arizona is the only other team that can say it did that over the last 10 years in the tourney.

--Tyler Hansbrough had a shot at a perfect 16 for 16 from the free throw line, which would have tied a tournament record. He made his first 14 before typifying UNC’s day by bricking his last two in OT.

--Why CBS went with James Brown over Gus Johnson is beyond me.

--Freshmen were made eligible for the AP All-American teams beginning in 1972. Since then only two freshmen made the first team. In 1983 Wayman Tisdale made it from OU and in 1990 LSU’s Chris Jackson received the honor. Kevin Durant and Greg Oden made it this year. Oden the first Ohio State All-American since?? Since 1992 when Jim Jackson did it.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Easily the best part of Peyton’s trip to SNL…


--The Rockets’ bid for a season-high 6-game winning streak failed yet again. Half of the league, Houston included, hasn’t put together at least a 6-game win streak over the past two seasons.

--Thanks for the memories Pullo and Vorenus. Thanks for exposing yourselves Atia, Octavia, Cleopatra, Niobe, Lyde, and assorted prostitutes. You could make worse purchases on DVD than these two seasons of Rome. Just great, great stuff. I love Deadwood, but Rome was superior. Now let’s see what Showtime can do with The Tudors.


--Apparently crocodiles aren’t stupid…


--Shockingly ESPN did something smart and said goodbye to Joe Theismann who never should have been put in the MNF booth in the first place. Jaws takes his place and that’s a very good thing.


--I hope you’re sitting down…Anna Nicole died of an accidental overdose of medication. Yeah, that must’ve been a real tough call for the doctor.

--Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith) will voice Megatron in the Transformers movie. Good choice.

--One more week until The Shield’s 6th season!!


--I’m not sure, but I think Willis McGahee is happy to be out of Buffalo, "Coming from Miami, I was used to partying, going out, just having something to do every night. Restaurants, whatever. Going to Buffalo, it was like hitting a brick wall. Like, 'Damn!' Can't go out, can't do nothing. There's an Applebee's, a TGI Friday's, and they just got a Dave & Busters. They got that, and I'm like, 'What the?' And, you know, the women . . . ."

--Seriously Cube, Are We Done Yet?

--Now that’s what I’m frackin’ talking about Battlestar Galactica. Crazy. Brilliant move with “All Along the Watchtower.” Now if we just didn’t have to wait until next January for the next season.

--Landon Donovan is still a relevant soccer player.


--In terrible final destination news we head to Rhode Island. The other night 14-year-old Darien Plass was killed when the car he was driving smacked into a utility pole. A few hours later a bunch of his friends set up an impromptu memorial service at the site of the crash on the side of the road. One friend, 18-year-old Andrew Coit, hung around after everyone left to play one more song on his guitar for his friend. At some point during the song a car came by and hit Andrew killing him instantly. The car sped off before the driver could be questioned.

--I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but now there’s more to the story so let’s head to Michigan. That’s where we find the mother of the year candidate, mommy’s boyfriend, and mommy’s 15-year-old daughter. Mommy had surgery and so since she was afraid her man would leave her if she couldn’t pleasure him mommy, boyfriend, and daughter signed a contract making daughter available for boyfriend’s sexual needs. This was to go on for two months and what did the daughter get out of it? Daughter got piercings, hair dye treatments, and permission to spend the night with her own boyfriend. Oh yeah, she also got to attempt to commit suicide, stay at a psychiatric hospital and is currently in therapy. Mommy’s boyfriend got 15 years for each of four counts of criminal sexual conduct. The classy boyfriend was also charged similarly for relations with a 12-year-old girl.

--Your Father of the Year candidate comes to us from Long Island. The other night cops saw Gary Dillon pushing a baby carriage along Long Island highway at 3:40 AM. The officers asked him what’s up and he honestly and quickly told them he was looking for crack. He and his 5-month-old son were walking around looking for crack since 10:30 the previous night. Yeah, Mr. Dillon faces child endangerment charges.

--Butler County in Ohio came up with an ingenious way to hopefully help a little with deadbeat dad problems. Officials up there have decided to place pictures of the top 10 men wanted for nonpayment on pizza boxes. Unfortunately only three pizzerias are complying and since August the boxes are responsible for one arrest.

Questions, comments or if you know how crazy Hooch is…

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The Classic Shirtwaist

What's a shirtwaist? It's a dress with a tailored shirt style bodice, usually buttoned from neck to waist, and made with a full or straight skirt. Introduced in the 1930's, this style of dress has become a classic through the years and was especially popular in the 50's. Easy to wear and extremely versatile, this style of dress fits beautifully into the wardrobe of any woman.

I find vintage shirtwaist dresses frequently in my hunts, and always pick them up to offer to my customers, and they never last long! Savvy fashionistas know that these gems can be worn in many different ways. Add a belt and jewelry to dress it up a bit. Wear it with or without a crinoline. Leave it unbuttoned over a cami. Slip it on with a pair of sandals on a hot day. Wear it under a cardigan or jacket when the days are cooler.

You'll find shirtwaist dresses in every color of the rainbow fashioned in silk, cotton, rayon or wool. Full skirts, straight skirts, solids, prints. And of course, the quality of a vintage shirtwaist is far superior to anything made today.

See these dresses and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Time and money for girls covered with honey

Yeah, That’s About Right

The dumbass Texans got started on their dumbass decisions a month earlier than they did last year. Like most of you I didn’t like the direction that “NFL team” decided to go last April with the top overall pick. I mean that was DUMB. This trade for an unproven QB is simply dumb. Matt Schaub has done what exactly to be worthy of two 2nd round picks and moving down two spots in the 1st round?!?! Thirty-eight games and a 52% completion percentage, six TDs and six INTs?! Huh?! And doesn’t Schaub wear # 8?! Do Houstonians really want to see another # 8? Gary Kubiak is a nice guy, I guess, he’s from here, but WTF?! Damn you John Elway for winning those Super Bowls and making anyone coming from the Denver organization an automatic genius!! I hate the Texans, but in a very, very, deep spot in my heart I really want to like this team, but they make it impossible.
Okay, if he's a ninja he can stay.

Damn You Chalk!!!

My first Final Four team is out after the Aggies got screwed by the refs allowing the Tigers to come away with a win. What a great set of games, though, on Thursday. Ohio State continues to play with matches without getting burned. Southern Illiniois has one hellaceous defense, but Kansas had just enough. It meets UCLA to cement at least two games featuring a 1 vs. a 2. It sucks that the chalk keeps coming up with wins, but at least the games themselves have picked up big time since those disappointing first two rounds.

--CBS really thinks James Brown is more adept at play-by-play than Gus Johnson?! And no offense to fellow Cougar Jim Nantz, but give me Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery over Nantz and Billy Packer every day of the week.

--I think I speak for everyone when I say We Heart You Erin Andrews…


--Tell me a couple in Alabama did not give their second child the first name Saban.

--Let’s see high school phenom O.J. Mayo has been busted for pot, kicked out of a game for pushing a ref, got t’d up in the state championship because he threw the ball off the backboard for a dunk on a fast break when his team was up by 40 in the final minute, told USC coach Tim Floyd that he’ll take care of recruiting, won’t give said coach his cell phone number, and picked USC because he wants to be close to L.A. to work on his marketing. This is going to end well.


Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Worst news of the week…Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant say Extras is done. On the plus side the boys will come up with a standalone special at some point. Oh the memories…”Little Fat Man”


--Mine eyes have finally seen 300 in all of its IMAX glory. Of course, it was f’n awesome!! The Queen with the line of the movie, “This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your Queen.” Not that it’s easy to tell, but the guy playing Xerxes, Rodrigo Santoro, is the guy on Lost who started popping up last season with that blonde chick.

--Emile Hirsch from Lords of Dogtown and Girl Next Door is going to be Speed Racer?!

--Very smart move by former Ambassador to the UN John Bolton going on The Daily Show. Wow, he could not look more inept. Jon Stewart owned him in front of everyone and not just because he had the audience’s backing, but because he showed signs of intelligence.

--“Check it out. I’m buffering.” Thanks Daily Show for finally getting Demetri Martin back on. Now if Jon and Demetri can get together more than once a month I’d be a happy man.

--Best scene on the tele this week was courtesy of Friday Night Lights when QB1, Riggins, and Smash rolled Street out on the field and Street coached up Saracen. Great stuff.
Turk's life is a good life.

--Some people don’t know when to shut the f up and just be happy you didn’t get busted. Michael Vick is one of those people. Dumbass was talking about his water bottle hidden compartment smells like marijuana incident, “I had earrings in it, and I had jewelry in it. They took the bottle. I don't know what they did with the bottle. I guess they were trying to, I don't want to say frame me, but at the same time look at what I had to go through." Poor, poor Michael.

--Tell me Carlos Mencia didn’t steal from Bill Cosby?!

--The Wynn in Vegas has some odds out on Dancing with the Drexler and I’m not sure if they actually watched the first episode. It has Billy Ray Cyrus at 8-1making him the 4th favorite, which is just ridiculous. Steve Sanders definitely has a better chance than that guy. Clyde is at 12-1. The longest shot is Cliff Claven at 25-1. The favorite? Laila Ali at 4-1. Joey Fatone is 5-1.

--Jet Li as The Mummy in part three?!

--Last November Jaguars OT Khalif Barnes was arrested for drunk driving and apparently he wasn’t aware that he was being videotaped or maybe he was aware and just doesn’t give a f. The video surfaced online and here’s some of what Khalif had to say, "This is unbelievable, man, unbelievable being a pro athlete in Jacksonville. I can't wait to get out of here. Can't wait. Especially if you're black. Of all the places in the -- world that I came to this -- hick town. They -- hate us here? Why you even want to have a pro team here? What's the use? They don't even -- respect you."

--Vivica A. Fox and Tony LaRussa have something in common. They were both busted for drunk driving this past week. Congratulations. At least LaRussa fell asleep making sure the streets stayed somewhat safe as long as you just went around his car at that light.

--Say what you want about the environment and global warming, but all I need is a vote by 6th graders in Longmont, Colorado. The 6th graders at Trail Ridge Middle School had a mock trial and came to the conclusion that global warming is not caused by humans, so that settles that.

--Gotta love a Drudge Report headline that has a picture of Barack Obama with a caption “…now he’s Irish too.”

--I’m thinking this probably isn’t legal, but St. Hugo of the Hills Catholic School has banned any of its students from having a MySpace page. If they don’t delete their existing page then they can’t go back to school.

--Your sicko of the week comes to us from Minnesota. Last month 17-year-old Crystal Brown had been worried a while about her Australian shepherd dog, which had been missing a couple of weeks. Then one day she comes home to find a gift box on her front porch. Inside was a bunch of Valentine’s candy (awwwww) and a garbage bag (huh, filled with candy?) containing her dog’s head (oh). Some 24-year-old piece of crap man has been arrested, but unfortunately not yet decapitated.

Questions, comments, or if you ever took one down and passed it around…

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It's The Joint

Oh The Madness…

The first four days of the tournament are in the books and if you had chalk you’re probably sitting pretty in your pool. What a letdown with just 11 seeds Winthrop and Virginia Commonwealth advancing past the first round and now no double digit seeds left (first time since 1995 no double-digit seeds in the Sweet 16). Saturday was clearly the best day of the four with Ohio State getting a real scare, Vanderbilt winning in two overtimes, Pitt in OT, and two good games involving Aggies. Texas A&M and Memphis on Thursday should be great as will Ohio State and Tennessee in that same South Region. I have the chalk winning all of the next round of games with the exception of UNLV and Oregon. The Rebels have served me well thus far and I have them for one more round. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to see the Volunteers upset the Buckeyes. Can’t wait ‘til Thursday.

--Thanks for letting us watch you, even if just for one season in college, Kevin Durant.

--I’m a Big 10 hater so I was a little surprised it went 5-1 in the first round. Not surprised it went 1-4 in the next.

The NBA Is Still Playing?!

Apparently the answer to the above question is yes, although I haven’t watched a game since the epic Mavs/Suns contest last Wednesday. I guess the Rockets are rolling and the Jazz are stumbling as Houston is just 1.5 games behind Utah for homecourt in their inevitable first round match up.
And you’d think a team in Salt Lake City whose best player is named Boozer would have more of a sense of humor about its license plates, but no. The Utah Tax Commission doesn’t allow names of intoxicants on the vanity license plates it issues. For 10 long years (I assume all years in Salt Lake are long ones) Glenn Eurick drove his Mercedes around with the license plate reading “merlot” and nobody said nothing. Then one day last week an anonymous phone tip to the Tax Commission about “merlot” being an alcoholic beverage and now it tells Eurick he needs to change it. How much of a loser do you have to be to report something like that? Eurick is going to challenge the state’s decision. In a related story, I’m going to drink two bottles of Yellowtail merlot tonight. God bless wine sales at Kroger.

--Yao’s jersey sales are down to 6th in China?! Kobe tops the list.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--This is just an incredible story in The Washington Post and I highly suggest you take three minutes out of your day to read it…

--The first week of Dancing with the Drexler is in the books and he was about what I’d expect. I don’t think he’ll be busy when the Rockets are in the playoffs. Joey Fatone, on the other hand, may as well be given the trophy now. Just the worst cast ever. Billy Ray Cyrus needs to leave immediately after his “performance” and then his absolutely shameless plug. Ridiculous. Just let your daughter earn the money and be happy.
She'll take The Fat One to the trophy.

--Good: Entourage, Sopranos, and Curb Your Enthusiasm are all on the near horizon. Bad: Rome is down to its final episode. What a fantastic f’n show! This season has had more crazy sex scenes than Real Sex 42: Crazy Roman Sex Scenes. Thank the gods that Pullo didn’t die at the hands of no-tongue-having Mineo. I hate to see Pullo and Vorenus on opposite sides, but I guess that’s the way things must end. Really, really hate that this wasn’t given a third season, but it’s got to be ridiculously expensive to produce. It has the world’s largest standing set covering five acres. Another IMDB.com nugget: Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo are actual historical characters. They are mentioned in the fifth book of Caesar's Commentaries on the Gallic War.

--If you missed Marco Antonio Barrera and Juan Manuel Marquez on Saturday you missed a helluva fight. Just a beautiful display of high level boxing despite the kinda high level of their ages (33). You do not want to mess with the Marquez brothers. I’d love to see JMM get another crack at Manny Pacquiao. The bad part was the ridiculous scoring that had Marquez winning big on every card. I thought he won, but not by that wide a margin. Steve Forbes of The Contender fame beat the hell out of Demetrius Hopkins and yet Hopkins won a lopsided decision in another example of what’s wrong with boxing. I have never seen any decision that flat out wrong.

--Jake Gyllenhaal as Captain Marvel?!

--In case you missed it last week Jeopardy had its first three-way tie ever. Last Thursday on 3/16 a 3-way tie for $16,000. Now you know.

--It hasn’t been a great season, but Battlestar Galactica's season finale is this week and it looks like a keeper.
Grace Park in Maxim = Tricia Helfer in Playboy.

--Apparently Bond 22 will be a direct sequel to Casino Royale with hopefully lots less of poker.

--Big shock former Steeler Joey Porter and Bengal Levi Jones got into a fight in Las Vegas. Actually the big shock is that this fight happened at 6 PM instead of 3 AM. Who fights in Vegas at 6 PM?!

--I’m not sure what is mentally wrong with Jarred Price, but last week the 22-year-old Clearwater man parked his pickup near a visitation lot at Pinellas County Jail. He got out of his car, picked up his crow bar, walked over to a marked patrol car, and smashed the windows out. It was a short, probably golf cart, ride to jail.

--It’s so sad when mothers and daughters do not get along. A 6-year-old was visiting her mother when mommy got mad and smacked the little girl with a curling iron. When the girl got back to her father she told him and they went to the police. The little girl told police mommy chops up a white substance, puts it into bags, and then they go to alleys where mommy sells it. Mommy is busted.

--Because I don’t know how you can sleep without knowing this…Spaghetti Bolognese is Britain’s favorite food according to the always-reliable Sun. Bolognese is eaten an average of 2,960 times in a Brit’s lifetime.

--Geez I thought I was creative when I stacked my loose change into a swoosh…


--Just to put out any fires before they start the University of Iowa has done something smart and bought the rights to FireKirkFerentz.com, FireLisaBluder.com, and FireGaryBarta.com. Those would be the names of the football coach, women’s basketball coach, and the athletic director. Now if you go there you get sent to HawkeyeSports.com. FireSteveAlford.com still up and running.

--Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa….wrestlers linked to the HGH probe in that Orlando online pharmacy case?! How about these absolutely shocking names allegedly (because it just can’t be true) involved…Randy Orton, HHH (that bag of bones), Edge (but that chin looks so natural), Eddie Guerrero (RIP), Rey Mysterio (people not on drugs probably don’t opt for horns and weird colored contacts), and The Hurricane (never will I trust a wrestling superhero again).

--There’s a picture online of Cee Lo (Gnarls Barkley) and Paris with Paris giving a nice “welcome to the neighborhood” handshake to little Cee Lo?!

--Guitar Hero 80s Edition?!

Questions, comments or if you know where the hell I can find a pint of Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream by Ben & Jerry’s…

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You heard my style I think you missed the point

--I have changed my bracket a million times, but the only thing I’ve never and don’t anticipate changing is Florida is going to win it all and Georgetown is making my Final Four. Other than that I’ll be changing crap right up until the first tip.

--Maximonline.com came out with a list of NCAA coaches who were separated at birth from certain celebrities. Some to keep an eye on when the games start…New Mexico State’s Reggie Theus/Cheryl Miller…Arkansas’s Stan Heath/Donald Faison-Turk from Scrubs…Marquette’s Tom Crean/Lewis Black…Villanova’s Jay Wright/Ron Livingston.

--Who knows which way I’ll vote come time to elect someone to replace Premier Bush, but John McCain is probably the only candidate with a bracket pool on his website. Although a first prize of a McCain 2008 fleece doesn’t really make me want to register. By the way, he’s taking the four top seeds to go to the Final Four

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Drew Barrymore and Spike Jonze?!

--This bit** is crazee with two ee’s…Probably not a good idea to eat boric acid, on the other hand it may just be an acquired test…


--I thought Casino Royale was supposed to be good. I thought wrong. Bo-ring and loooooooong. Daniel Craig was fine, but the movie was not at all. I should’ve stopped the DVD after the chase scene in the beginning when that guy was doing all kinds of crazy running and jumping leaving Bond to cheat in order to keep up.


--Hey Lost!! Get your s*** together or you'll be joining Battlestar on probation.

--Sadly it’s been out almost a week and I still haven’t seen 300. I still haven’t heard any guy who’s seen it describe it as anything less than the greatest movie they’ve ever seen.

--You thought that that pre to early teen punk kid on your street was a problem…13-year-old Andrew Riley in Ohio would kick your punk’s ass up and down the street. Andrew is facing not 1, not 5, not 25, not 50, not 100, but 128 felony charges after a year-long crime spree. Burglary, theft, vandalism, you name it the kid’s been charged with it. A fellow student of Andrew’s went to the police and told them about Andrew. Of course, Andrew was left with no choice, but to beat the kid up thereby insuring a charge of intimidating a witness. Someone needs a loooooong timeout.

--The FDA says some sleeping pills may cause sleep-driving?! Apparently it’s the same as sleep-walking, except, you know, it takes place in a car.

--Jessica Simpson wants to adopt?!


--Tommie Harris and Fantasia from Idol?!

--I don’t know what the song is, but I saw a video with both Beyonce and Shakira and that is just outstanding work by whoever brought those two together.
romance explosion times three...

--Britney found love in rehab?! No way.

Questions, comments, or if you’re counting the days until you see The Killers in Austin…

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Oowah Oowah is My Disco Call

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Another bracket is upon us and oh the joy. I would think this first week of all weeks would be the lowest suicide rate for males. I mean who takes their life before one more shot at a bracket pool? Before one more Thursday and Friday filled with chips, beer, and game after game after game after game? Before getting one more upset right on your bracket? Before watching the inevitable news story about how an elephant is outpicking a supposed expert? And yet Richard Jeni, but I digress. The 1 seeds are all strong and if ever there is going to be a year in which all four make it to the Final Four this may be it. But I think not. I’m a big believer in Georgetown and North Carolina will also have Kevin Durant to get through so I’m thinking the Hoyas move on from the East. In the South I really hate to go with Ohio State because I’m a Big 10 hater and I think it’ll come down to Texas A&M and Ohio State and I guess I’ll take the Buckeyes. Heading out West Kansas and UCLA are on a collision course. I’ll take the Bruins although I’m sure I’ll go back and forth on that one until the first game tips on Thursday when all final answers are due. In the Midwest I see Florida and UNLV meeting with my Gators moving on to Atlanta. Florida and Ohio State in the title game and another enjoyable beatdown of the Buckeyes is in store.

--Not that this will help you in anyway, but some of the upsets I’m picking…12 Old Dominion over 5 Butler. 12 Illinois over 5 Virginia Tech. 13 Holy Cross over 4 Southern Illinois. I’m thinking hard about taking 14 Oral Roberts over 3 Washington State. I mean how can you not like Oral?

Number 5 is Alive!

The Rockets have settled into a nice stretch of win a couple, lose a couple and it looks like they’ll be in that 5 spot once the season ends. As of Tuesday Houston is 5 back of Utah, which is on fired and won 6 straight. Houston is 6 games in front of the Lakers who’ve lost 6 in a row. No other team in the top eight in the West has that wide a gap between the team directly in front of and the team directly behind it.

--Apparently Phil Jackson doesn’t care who is coming back from injury soon, "Jesus Christ could come back and we still wouldn't have a chance because we've ruined the mix by not playing together." If Jesus Christ joins the Lakers I’m still picking the Mavericks to come out of the west.

--Congratulations if you had the Warriors as the team to end the Mavericks’ 17-game winning streak.

--Hoops high school phenom O.J. Mayo is growing up fast. The future USC player was busted for marijuana possession last week.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Don’t forget to check in with Matt and Adam’s Night Shift Field of 69 minus 1. It is released Tuesday night and I’m sure there will be glaring omissions and some terrible upsets like when Kelly Clarkson won once. I can’t remember who she beat, but I do remember Matt saying he enjoys listening to her CD and despite my wait there was no punch line.

--It does not getter any Borat-er than this deleted scene on the DVD.


--Everyone wants to be Tom Brady so who does Tom Brady want to be? My guess is Ricky Lackey. Lackey is a music producer in Ohio and was convicted of attempted theft. Part of his master plan to get rich was to insert empty envelopes into ATM machines. During the court proceedings he let it out that he was going to soon be a father of not one, not two, not three, not five, but six kids by…wait for it…six different mothers. In a related story there are now “Brady on Board” T-shirts for all those expecting mothers.

--Mandy Moore realized she was dating DJ A.M. and they’ve now broken up.

--Maggie Gyllenhaal is replacing Katie Holmes on Batman Begins?!

--Mark Wahlberg’s visit to the White House a while back provided an amusing story that Marky told to Movies.com: "I went to the White House two weeks after 9/11, and as soon as I came in, he shakes my hand and goes, 'I bet you were gonna come in here and tell me, dammit, you need to do this and you need to do that, but then you look at me in my nice blue suit and you end up thinking, 'Well, God, you're really good-looking in person, Mr. President.' How can you not laugh?"

--Geico caveman and Phil Simms. Need I say more?


--If you didn’t know there’s a remake of Debbie Does Dallas in the works. They’ve got a 30-minute show on Showtime in which you can vote on the new Debbie based on her strengths and I assume flexibility.

--Mondays really suck without Heroes.

Questions, comments or if you’d like The Daily Show to limit John Oliver to five appearances a week…

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My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Giselle Bundchen is pregnant?! Geez, Tom one at a time, my man, one at a time…at least double wrap until one of them pops out...or something.

--Whoa, whoa, whoa Rob Zombie…how ya gonna make Halloween, but not include the original theme song?!

--Captain America is dead?!


--Armchair GM blogger Manny Stiles put up his team loyalty for auction on Ebay. He actually got a high bid of $535. Who was so desperate as to buy a fan? The team president of the Devil Rays, of course.



--I’m all for the environment and this blog went “green” before it was fashionable, but I don’t need to see it in Sports Illustrated. “As the planet changes, so do the games we play”?!

--O.J. and Anna Nicole? Yeah, that’s about right.

--The big boy from Blues Traveler was busted for speeding the other night in Washington. Shocker, he also had marijuana in the car. Real shocker, he had hidden compartments in the car that were filled with 4 rifles, 9 handguns, night vision goggles and a switchblade knife. What the?! Yeah, he might be in a bit of trouble.

--I didn’t think Borat could get any funnier and then I saw the deleted scenes on the DVD. What is this? And this one? Is this coffee? What is this?

--Desmond Mason has skillz…


-As someone who has substituted at the high school level fourteen-year-old girls can be kind of crazy. Por ejemplo, a 14-year-old girl in Indiana who wanted to get even with another girl so she invited said girl to her birthday party. How did the birthday girl get even? Well, she baked a big batch of pot brownies and all the girls had some. One of the girls got sick and apparently the parents of the birthday girl didn’t know about the pot brownies although how you can’t smell those things during the cooking or baking is beyond me, not that I would know anything about that process. If anyone reading this wants to get even with me, do it by pot brownie, that’ll learn me good.

--There are frivolous lawsuits and then there are lawsuits in which the plaintiff should be slapped and then given a timeout. Amanda Verret of Illinois was at a Pizza Hut and opened the door for herself to exit and she also kept it open for Clarence Jackson. She claims Jackson grabbed the door and caused it to sharply move causing her to sustain an “acromion process impingement in her right shoulder.” Uh-huh. So that injury caused her to fall down on a later date and at that time she tore some tendons and hurt her hand and wrist. So Ms. Verret is suing Jackson and Pizza Hut, as well, because it made the mistake of having a door at its business. Thank you for your contributions to society Ms. Verret.

--Sticking with the legal theme we stay in Illinois and wonder what the hell Associate Judge R. Craig Sahlstrom is thinking. Frank D. Atherton has child molestation charges against him in His Highness’ court. You know, ho-hum, just three Class X felonies pending, so no biggie. Atherton has previously served jail time for armed robbery, burglary, theft and resisting arrest, so I’m saying he’s good people. So the ex-con, who is facing child molestation charges, asked the good judge to go on vacation to Disney World and the judge apparently couldn’t think of one good reason why a man accused of child molestation should not leave the state and visit The Happiest Place on Earth. I can think of a good reason, but I do have a UH education.

--Your drunk of the week comes to us from Atlantic City. I’ve been there three times and it really gets better every time, anyway, the other night Raquel Deandrade was pulled over, yeah, on the freakin’ boardwalk. She thought it was a road…apparently a long wooden road, filled with drunk pedestrians, the homeless, prostitutes, the homeless, and cats (honestly I love the Boardwalk, but that’s what’s there). She was charged with DUI, reckless and careless driving, and she was also charged with “driving on the Boardwalk.” Yeah, she was 24 and that’s probably a tough phone call to make to anyone.
“What happened?”
-“Nothing. For no reason the freakin’ cops pulled me over on the Boardwalk.”
“Ummm…near the Boardwalk?”
-“No, I was on it.”

--I don’t watch American Idol or The View, but if Idol and Rosie get into a smackdown I have a passing interest. Rosie accused Idol of being racist and weightist because it didn’t kick off Antonella who had some pictures pop up online. She was in various sexytime poses, but as far as I’ve seen the pics are safe for work. She’s hot, Frenchie is not. She was the big girl from last season’s Idol who got kicked off after it was discovered she posed topless and appeared to be ummm, pleasuring herself on a website called Daddy’s Little Girls. Anyway, Rosie blasted Idol and Idol responded with this gem, "Ms. O'Donnell has, once again, spoken without thought or knowledge. Viewers need only look at the show tonight to realize that American Idol constantly confirms to America that talent has nothing to do with weight or color."
Ouch.
One of these looks likes Borat's sexytime dinner guest.

--The show has not been at its best lately, but this is pretty cool if you’re into Battlestar Galactica…

Questions, comments, or if, on occasion, you adore mi amor…

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Great Vintage Details

I love this vintage 1950's bombshell dress by Alix of Miami. I've never been able to find out anything about this company, but every dress I've ever found by Alix has had great style with outstanding details. This body hugging dress is fashioned from black silk shantung. It's got a built in bra for "full steam ahead" curves!

Now for the details. See that unusual curved insert between the bust? It serves to separate the breasts so you don't get the dreaded "uniboob" and adds even more visual interest to the bustline. But look what happens when you add the little cropped jacket that comes with the dress!

How about that? The button placket has the same curved treatment at the hem, and it completes the look. I just love the thought and planning that went into this suit so the two pieces really work together beautifully.

See this dress and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Got Arrested at the Mardi Gras for Jumping on a Float

Better Than Nothing

The Texans didn’t have a lot of money to throw around because of that Charley guy so it was nice to see they didn’t waste any on Ashley Lelie. That would have been a huge mistake. Also nice to see that as they’ve stated they wanted to get younger and did so by bringing in 30-year-old Ahman Green, so yeah, that makes sense. Anyway, Green was strong last year and only missed a couple of games. Hopefully Chris Taylor or in fantasy land Adrian Peterson can help shoulder the load because I’m thinking 90% running plays next year is the only chance this team has to win. Still nothing new on the quarterback front after all the craziness with Jake Plummer over the weekend. As someone who will never forgive the franchise for being so egotistical and just flat out stupid I’m really hoping they try and sell David Carr to the team and the city for one more year. How hilarious would that be?

--A new season of Arena League kicked off last weekend and the New York Dragons scored all of 7 points against Dallas to lose 60-7. I’m pretty sure you should get kicked out of the league is you only score 7 points. By the way, Rohan Davey is third string for NYC and threw its only TD.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I wasn’t too excited about the UFC PPV last weekend, but holy sh**, as always, it came through with that incredible Randy Couture domination of Tim Sylvia. Wow, 43 and still a bad, bad man. Seriously 25 minutes of total domination that no one saw coming. Yeah, because he’s Randy f’n Couture you gave him a shot, but I don’t know of anyone who gave him a shot to completely dominate over 25 minutes. The Matt Hughes and Rich Franklin bouts were okay. The other ones on the card were great.

--For 8 rounds Israel Vazquez and Rafael Marquez (Juan Manuel’s brother) gave us the fight of the year. Then Israel’s broken and battered nose forced him to stop, but apparently a rematch may be made in August and that would be a good thing and if it doesn’t get stopped prematurely will be the fight of the year. Thank you Allan Green for not giving us anything in your “fight” against Edison Miranda. Vic Darchinyan and Jorge Arce need to get in with each other sooner rather than later.

--Congratulations to the Chris Henry/PacMan Jones of the MTV reality world. Jason from Laguna Beach has been arrested three times in the past seven months.

--For some reason Forbes thought it could come up with a formula to rank the top general managers in pro sports. It came up with the formula, but it probably needs tweaking if Kevin McHale of the Timberwolves is # 1 and Scott Pioli of the Patriots is # 20. No Houston guys made the top 20 although if that Charley Casserly guy was still around I’m sure he’d be in the top five for all of the fantastic work he got done down here. Thanks again Charley. You aren’t the dumbass idiot most people or everyone says you are.
The first Houston GM to check in is Carroll Dawson at 95th one spot ahead of Matt Millen. Huh?!

--The best news I heard on Monday was that The White Stripes have finished up album # 6. I’m not sure where Jack finds the time, but I’m sure the album will be fan-freakin-tastic! It drops in June and apparently the title track, “Icky Thump”, is liked by both humans and skeletons alike. I’m not sure if that is Johnny from Karate Kid or La Parka – international playboy luchador.


--The worst news I heard on Monday was that Heroes won’t have a new episode until April 23rd.

--Hell hath no fury like David Feltmeyer scorned. The 33-year-old Richmonden? Richmondonian? Richmondite? guy from Virginia didn’t take his girlfriend’s break-up all that well. Unbeknownst to her during their relationship he taped them having sex. Out of the blue after the break-up she started getting calls from strangers asking for sexytime. Turns out David made a best of sexytime DVD featuring them and put it on car windshields for everyone to see (on YouTube yet?). Yeah, he’s in trouble.

--Speaking of “Little Boy Blue…..he needed the money” is Dice Undisputed worth the time? It can’t be nearly as horrific as Shooting Sizemore.

--A Dutch gym is going to introduce “Naked Sundays”?!

--24 picked it up some this week and thankfully there weren’t any moments showing Jack caressing his dead brother’s wife’s cheek so that’s nice. But Jack is in the freakin’ Russian embassy, takes the Russian consul hostage, clips off one of his fingers, gets his information, and then Jack thinks he can walk right out the door?!
Stay away from Jack, woman.
--A G.I. Joe flick with Mark Wahlberg as Duke?! Jet Li and Ken Watanbe as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow and we got something. I’m thinking Gary Oldman as Cobra Commander. I want the guys who play Vorenus and Pullo on the Joe side. Timothy Olyphant as Zartan. Damn I could do this all day…

--Seriously rodeo, deep fried coca-cola?! If you hadn’t heard first you freeze the coke, then break it up into bits, then batter it up, deep fry it, and top it off with pure coke syrup.

--I finally got off my ass and got The Departed. Of course, it lived up to the hype. Jack Nicholson is so money and everyone knows it.
Yeah, these guys are pretty good actors.

--This week’s Mother of the Year candidate comes to us from Maryland. There 31-year-old Amara Eden had left her kids alone. The kids ranged in age from six months to six years and were apparently hungry and so attempted to make dinner for themselves. Yeah, they burned it and set the house on fire. That probably didn’t smell too good considering when firefighters got them out of the house they discovered, well, "The smell of urine, fecal matter everywhere, and then plus water and then plus old rotting food on the counters and in the refrigerator, kind of, I guess it all blended together." Listen moms and mothers-to-be your children’s fecal matter and urine belong in the toilets. I cannot stress this enough. Please do not adopt the “go where you wanna go” restroom philosophy for your children. It will only present them with awkward and possibly embarrassing moments when they enter school.

--Props to the NAACP Image Awards for handing out Best Actor in a TV Drama to Isaiah Washington who had that little habit of tossing slurs towards gay people. I’m sure Isaiah deserved the Image award much more than Cerrano/President Palmer/Dennis Haysbert from The Unit.

--Tricia Tanaka probably agrees with this...


--A HBO documentary on Barbaro?! Oh boy!

--I’m not sure how baseball does it, but when an MVP makes all of $900,000 the following year that’s crazy. Philly may regret not stepping up to the plate and taking better care of Mr. Howard.

--If you like lists and you like crimes then you’ll like Time’s list of the top 25 crimes of the last 100 years.

Questions, comments or if you’re loving Barbarians Week on The History Channel…

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But Now I've Got To Pass The Mic To Yauch...

WTF?!

Are you f’n kidding me Rockets?!?! I mean losses to three Eastern Conference teams in your last four games?!?! Thank the good Lord you have a two-game break from those Eastern Conference bullies. The freakin’ Celtics!! Boston shot 34 f’n %. 34%!!! The C’s had more turnovers than assists!! Honestly I think a left handed Dikembe Mutombo can do better than your 1-22 effort from beyond the arc. Ridiculous. The Raptors just came in and beat your asses on Red Rowdy night. Great. The fans haven’t been there and you’ve played strong and then on a night you try to get the rowdiest, craziest fans in there you lay an egg and not one of those nice organic eggs, but one of those nasty ones with a chicken embryo that’s a little too far along in the process. Just ridiculous. Get it together because after Saturday you have three straight against the East and they don’t screw around, hell right now they’re counting you as Ws. How’s that taste?

--Until that embarrassment at the hands of Toronto the Rockets had held a lead in each game this season. The Suns had to until the Sixers beat them Wednesday. Now the only team to have held a lead in every game it’s played this season? The Spurs.

--There are bad officials and then there is Violet Palmer who deserves her own category. During the Celtics/Rockets game the other night Boston announcer and former NBA veteran Cedric Maxwell didn’t like Ms. Palmer’s officiating. So he busted out a “go back to the kitchen” blast and added, "Go in there and make me some bacon and eggs, would you?" Very nice, although he’ll be apologizing on the air in 3, 2, 1, now.

--He went 0-fer against the Rockets, but Gerald Green scored 10 of his 21 points in the 4th to help Boston beat New York.

--Comcast in Chicago tried something new for the Bulls game it broadcast Wednesday. If you hit the SAP button you got to hear the producer and director call the shots for the broadcast.

--Seriously I don’t even feel comfortable with shooting around on a court after watching Shaun Livingston’s disgusting dislocated knee injury.

--Congratulations to the Knicks who went 6-5 in February for their first winning month after 13 straight losing ones. The Blazers have the longest losing month streak at 15.

--Tyson Chandler has 17 straight double-digit rebounding games. That a big reason the Hornets have outrebounded their opponents in their last 13 games in a row, which is the longest such streak in three seasons.

--Tell me Ron Artest is writing an advice column for Dime magazine and tell me this exchange didn’t take place.
“Ron, I’m thinking about popping the question to my girl. How should I do it? – CalvinFirst you gotta have sex one last time, you know, and tell her you love her. You should probably take her out to a simple dinner, nothing too crazy. Keep it simple, because a lady is looking for the little things. If she wants to be with you forever, she’ll like that.”

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Big Pussy is, well, a big pu*** and dropped out of Dancing with the Stars.

--There isn’t really a bad ass junior linebacker in Florida with the name Yourhighness Morgan, is there?

--To put the rumors to rest Jake Tsakalidis is not, not, Sloth from the Goonies and he doesn’t scream “hey you guys” when he wants the ball. Let’s stay with the Goonies theme and throw some Chunk and Jack Bauer together…




--The highly anticipated “Secrets of a Hollywood Super Madam” comes out this week and it has a laundry list of celebrity names and accompanying stories. Whether they’re true or not, they’re hilarious and that’s all that matters. For example Sports by Brooks had this on what Tommy Lasorda likes to do with his dodger dog. Allegedly Tommy boy was on the phone with the madam or madam assistant or order taker or whatever and Tommy picked out a girl. When asked what he wanted Tommy responded, “I’d like to have some porn for me to watch while she sucks my (expletive). I’m into watching two gals together in a movie. Can she have that there?" There’s much, much more where that came from including Tommy playing some five on one while the girl on girl porno was on and the prostitute gives a report on Tommy that’s interesting/disturbing. I know I’ll never look at the Baseball Bunch in the same way.
What exactly are you trying to do there buddy?

--Honestly, if you didn’t watch Heroes from the beginning this is one DVD set you must own. This first season rivals and probably surpasses the first season of Lost.

--Peyton Manning is going to host SNL?!

--Ghost Rider must be doing well as for some reason Nicolas Cage just bought a second home in Sin City. Seriously how many homes in Vegas do you need?

--More of Desmond and less of everything else and we’ll be okay Lost. Because when I look more forward to Friday Night Lights than Lost you’ve got to pick it up!
Donald Faison is a lucky, lucky man.

--Posh Spice reality series on NBC = worthless.

--Apparently the new Krispy Kreme wheat donuts are good.


--ABC is developing a Cavemen sitcom?! Took long enough.

--Boise State’s Jared Zabransky is the NCAA ’08 cover boy?!

--There’s stupid and then there’s the U.S. Postal Service…Apparently the clocks in 37,000 post offices have been taken down because as a spokesman put it, "We want people to focus on postal service and not the clock."

--Drudge Report headline of the week: Hotels with no condoms get fined in China.

--If you saw Eric Byrnes on ESPN or Fox last year in the playoffs you know he has a future in broadcasting. So how does Eric Byrnes go about choosing from the pool of entertainment agents that were all over him in the offseason? Well, he saw Kelly Ripa give a shout to her agent and, "I love Regis and Kelly. So I figured if he was good enough for Kelly, he was good enough for me."
Kelly? Is that you?

Questions, comments, or if you got a new job this week and it’s in an actual office and you wonder which character you’ll be and if some guy will dub you “Tuna”….

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