'Cause I'm A Turn It In And I'm A Turn It Out

My Bologna Has A First Name It’s O-S-C-A-R

--So when you saw Forest Whitaker go up on stage to get his Best Actor award did you first think of him as Jefferson from Fast Times? Rawlins from Bloodsport? Ghost Dog? Kavanaugh from The Shield? Or if you’re like me Forest Whitaker will always be Herman the bully from Diff’rent Strokes?

--How freakin’ insane was that troupe of dancers, Pilobolus, which performed the movie logos?! Can’t wait until that shows up on YouTube.

--Ellen was pretty strong and easily had the hottest lesbian girlfriend there in Portia de Rossi.

--There’s cute and then there’s Abigail Breslin and Will’s boy Jaden presenting an award.


--Embarrassingly I still haven’t seen The Departed. How weird/stupid was it that The Departed with Martin Scorsese and an all-star cast like that was represented on stage by only the producer when it picked up Best Picture? That made no sense.

--Although I’m sure it’s disturbing as hell I’ve got to see Little Children with Jackie Earle Haley/Kelly Leak. Freakin’ weird seeing him now.

--Also freakin’ weird seeing Jack Nicholson with no hair.

--Dreamgirls had 3 of the 5 Best Song nominees and didn’t win?!

--Prestige was nominated a couple of times, but didn’t win. That was one fan-freakin-tastic movie!
Bowie rules!

--By the way, the only way to watch the Oscars is on DVR. I can’t imagine the boredom suffered by those who were actually there in their seats for four hours.

--Congratulations to Sharon Stone and Basic Instinct 2 for picking up four coveted Razzies including Worst Picture and Worst Actress. Maybe next year Wayans boys, as Little Man managed to pick up only three. M. Night Shyamalan picked up worst director and worst supporting actor for Lady in the Water. Congratulations to all those well-deserved “winners.”

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--God bless Pulp Fiction and God Bless YouTube…




--Tell me Britney did not get rehab advice from Daniel Baldwin.

--Our “only in Tennessee” story of the week comes to us from Rogersville. Rhonda Sue Sullivan was arrested after being found riding a bike drunk off her ass. No surprise we see these types of stories all the time right? Well, Rhonda Sue was on the bike at her gym at the time the cop came up to her. Someone called in saying a crazy drunk woman was on a stationary bike and the cops felt compelled to see what was up. The cop asked Rhonda Sue to go outside and she was very tipsy, possibly sweaty and now faces public intoxication charges.

--A Krispy Kreme whole wheat doughnut that’s only 180 calories?!

--Across the pond a clueless, apparently overwhelmed, mother doesn’t know what to do with her fatty 196-pound 8-year-old boy. Hi, mom of tub o’ lard, France called and thinks you’re giving up too easily. Enabling mum said, "He likes processed foods and if I try him with any salad, vegetables, fruit, he just refuses to eat it or spits it out. When a child won't eat anything else, you've got to feed them what they like."

--I didn’t see any of Rainn Wilson/Dwight Schrute’s appearance on SNL last week except for this…


--Our next drunken story comes to us from New Port Richey, Florida. Craig Shelton was in his pickup swerving all over the road late the other night when he was pulled over. The officer asked for Shelton’s license and Shelton admitted it was suspended and then came sobriety test time. Shelton failed the first test miserably then said, "Just call it a DUI man. You got me." So he gets arrested and is sitting in the back of the police cruiser when he uttered this fantastic question to the cop, "Did you find my weed?" Yeah, he’s in some trouble.

--Don’t kick a man while he’s down. If he’s standing up though go for it…


Questions, comments or if you think Roy is going to kill Jim this week…

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And If You Think That You're Slick You'll Catch A Brick Y'all

Who’s Next?

The Rockets handled the Heat with relative ease although it should’ve been much easier once Dwyane Wade left the game. Sucks for you Miami. Dwyane is about the only guy I can stand on that aging, overrated, whiny team and even he gets on my nerves with his 11 free throw attempts a game. Hopefully they hang onto that 8th spot and get eliminated in the first round and don’t get a chance to get lucky in the lottery. Enough about those has-beens, how ‘bout dem Rockets? It’s February 22nd and they’ve matched their win total from a year ago. Yao will be back in a two or three weeks and Bonzi is starting to come around once again. Next up the Hawks on Friday and they did make a third quarter field goal on Wednesday unlike their game Tuesday so they’re hot. Sunday the boys will see Dwight Howard and the Magic and maybe some new Magic depending on what happens before the trade deadline.

--The biggest, baddest kid in the league is Dwight Howard. Whether he’s slapping stickers of himself on a backboard or “acting” out scenes from Friday or whether he’s driving by New York, New York in Vegas and sees his jersey on the Statute of Liberty. Dwight was with Jameer Nelson when, "We were driving and we saw it, and we went crazy. I was like yelling and screaming, 'That's my jersey!' We stopped the car, in traffic, to get out and take a picture in front of it. It was cool."

I don't remember, but I assume Yao blocks this.

--LeBron and Tracy McGrady are the only two players in the top 15 in scoring average who are shooting below 70% from the line. Out of players who are on pace to make at least 125 free throws Tracy’s free throw percentage of .685 is good enough for 126th place in the league.

--Dikembe Mutombo is 2nd in the league in rebounds per 48 minutes at 18.5.

--There are two East teams averaging at least 100 points a game. Name ‘em. One is Washington and you probably got that. The other? Not the Bulls, not the Raptors, not the LeBrons, but none other than the Knicks. New York is averaging more points a game than Dallas. The Rockets are 23rd at 95.9 per and face the 30th and 27th worst scoring teams this weekend.

--The most dominating performer of All Star Weekend David Lee now leads the league in field goal percentage at just over 61%.
Don't feel bad Desagna, this happens a lot.

--How ridiculous are the Suns who as a team shoot 40% from beyond the arc and 80% from the free throw line? Oh yeah, 50% from the field overall.

--Steve Nash has 35 double-doubles or the same amount as Jason Kidd and Dwyane Wade combined.

--DeShawn Stevenson and former Destiny’s Child member LeToya Luckett?! That’s a step up from getting a 14-year-old drunk on E&J Brandy and then getting charged with statutory rap so congratulations DeShawn.

--Fan sign of the week goes to a Kentucky student who during its game with LSU held up a sign reading, “Tim Hardaway hates LSU.”

--I’m not here to condone drug use in college or anytime for that matter. But c’mon we’ve all done our share of mushrooms and watched American Pop or Akira. Anyway, my Gonzaga boy Josh Heytvelt was busted two weeks ago with an ounce of ‘shrooms and three brownies that also had ‘shrooms in them. He said they weren’t his and he didn’t know they were in the car. Maybe, maybe not. What I find crazy is that in the state of Washington possessing any amount of mushrooms is a felony offense punishable by a maximum of five years and a $10,000 fine. Now, he’s not likely to get that as a first offender, but still. Apparently a typical sentence involves six months or less in jail and going through some programs. Can’t we leave jail for the criminals and not the college kids who just want to eat some vegetables and trip?
Purple potatoes are good so I don't see why purple mushrooms wouldn't be.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two Face in the next Batman is a good thing. Katie Holmes out is a better thing.

--The cast for the next edition of Dancing With The Stars is out and as I’m sure you know by now Clyde Drexler is in it to win it. Although I can’t see him coming close or doing much better than Evander Holyfield. I think he’ll be a quick out. Other “stars” without a chance to win are Laila Ali, Anton Ohno, Heather Mills who may get the sympathy vote seeing as how the former Mrs. McCartney has a prosthetic leg. The eye candy for the fellas includes Paulina Porizkova and Miss USA 2004 Shandi Finnessy and maybe Leeza Gibbons. The ladies get Billy Ray Cyrus, Joey Fatone and super hunk Steve Sanders/Ian Ziering. Big Pussy becomes the first Celebrity Fit Clubber to join Stars.
Steve Sanders and David Silver with the cameo of the decade in Domino.

--I guess that topless Jennifer Aniston photo from The Break-Up was the real deal since Universal Studios is suing Perez Hilton for displaying it first.

--It’s been far too long since I’ve seen this movie…








--Note to Battlestar Galactica: Fraggin’ pick it up people! I’m tired of these “day in the life” filler stories, get me some cylons and never again go an entire episode without showing Tricia Helfer.

--Come Thursday at 9 the O.C. is O-ver. Thank you for giving us Rachel Bilson.

--Seriously Dallas Clark, getting ejected from a high school girls basketball game?!

--Police in Vegas want to talk to Pacman Jones regarding three people getting shot at a strip club?! Are we talking about the same Pacman Jones, here? Because this doesn’t sound like him. Biting a bouncer?! Punching a woman?! Telling on his boys to smoke a bouncer’s ass?! And then a bouncer gets shot in the spine paralyzing him from the waist down?! No, it must be a different Pacman Jones.

--If you’re keeping score Britney is back in rehab, wait, she’s out, now back in, back out, now her family is saying she’s on the run, now back in, back out, trying on wigs, getting no answer at Kevin’s house, now back in rehab.

--If you’re keeping score on the Anna Nicole Smith sage how are ya doing it? It’s easier to decipher a David Lynch directed episode of Lost while you’re high than it is keeping up with that craziness.

--If you were wondering where the worst soccer officials in the world were on Wednesday they were in Costa Rica helping Puntarenas down the Dynamo 1-nil in the Copa de Campeones. F’n two b.s. yellow cards on Eddie Robinson so he won’t play next week. F’n goal in injury time. F’n flopping Costa Ricans.

--Michael Irvin didn’t really tell Fox Sports Radio about his ESPN departure, "When I talked to Tom (Jackson) we cried like babies. We just cried like babies. We had such great times together. And it was so amazing to have two grown men on the phone crying like we were crying...about not working together again. But then it says so much to how we enjoyed working together."
Really?! Because Tom wasn’t joking when he asked you if you were retarded.

--The Food Network will get some Hispanic flavor to add to well, uhhh, Doc Gibbs is black so I guess he’s closest. Anyway, Ingrid Hoffmann will come over from Galavision’s Delicioso.

--El Guapo (the pitcher not the bad guy from Three Amigos) is back playing minor league ball in Nashua and the svelte former Red Sock is down 15 pounds from his Boston days to 235.

--In the Transformers movie the lovable, huggable Bumblebee will go from a VW Bug to a Camaro?! Weak.

--Penelope Cruz and Orlando Bloom?!

--I haven’t been to a library in years so I don’t know how the online thing works there, but a piece of crap with three child porn convictions should probably not be allowed online in a library. Mark Sullivan of Norwell, Mass. was surfing when thankfully an employee came over and asked if his computer was fine and at the same time out of the printer came a nude photo of a young girl. So the employee called the cops and thankfully he faces 10 years. But what if that employee didn’t just happen to come along right then? How does that piece of crap almost get away with that? The waste of space was also surfing to sites trying to find police uniforms and badges. Rot in jail motherf******!

--Your dumbass couple of the week comes from St. Paul, Minnesota by way of Washington. This dumbass couple pulled into a Midas shop complaining their car was having fuel problems. The mechanic noticed some unusual welding around the gas tank and called the cops who found 150 pounds of pot in a secret compartment. Apparently herb is not, I repeat, is not a legitimate fuel additive.

--Oh yeah, waaaaay too long since I’ve seen this movie…Haven’t even gotten to my boy Drexel. It ain’t white boy day is it?


Questions, comments, or if your favorite Mardi Gras memory is when someone, let’s call him Hector, slapped a horse’s ass in Galveston. A cop’s horse’s ass. Good times…

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Matching Plaids

I slipped this late 1940's day dress on my mannequin to take pictures and noticed how cute it is when worn. Its a basic woven cotton plaid with a slight flare to the skirt. The rolled collar extends into tabs that criss-cross and button. "Great," I thought, "someone's going to look adorable in this."

It wasn't until I sat down at my computer to crop the photos for use in the listing, that I noticed. I am absolutely in awe of the matching of the plaid on the rolled collar. The plaid stripes on the tabs match the stripes on the bodice perfectly! Not only that, but the plaid is also matched at the side seams and the center front and back skirt seams.

If you know how to sew, then you know how difficult matching plaids is. It takes time and planning, as you have to place the pattern pieces on the fabric in an exact position before cutting the pieces. Then you have to be very careful when sewing the seams that your fabric doesn't drift out of alignment. The larger the plaid, the more difficult the layout, and the more fabric you waste during the cutting process.

I am astonished at the amount of work that went into this simple day dress dress at the manufacturer. This type of attention to detail is lost in today's world.

See this dress and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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I Can't Stop Y'all Tock Tick Y'all

I Miss You Vegas

--Everyone on that East squad should be banned from all-star games the next two seasons. That was just pathetic. Next time open up a can of give a crap and see what happens.

--Gerald Green probably would have won the slam dunk contest no matter what, but Dwight Howard was absolutely robbed of a chance to get into the final round. The man-child did something never seen with that sticker shock to the backboard that measured all of 12 feet 6 inches at its highest point. Oh yeah, he slammed the ball down with more authority than anyone as well. Not to mention the sticker had a bible verse on it. Why does the NBA hate the Good Word? Dwight had wanted to raise the rim to 12 feet to entertain us, but the NBA said no, the slam dunk contest doesn’t need anybody trying to improve it, let’s just recycle the same ol’ crap.
--Nate Robinson had a good dunk planned out, but the Knicks wouldn’t sign off on it. He wanted to put a Playboy Bunny blackjack dealer and table in the lane and dunk over all of it.

--This year we had Barkley/Bavetta and honestly Barkley should be in every single contest for the sheer entertainment value. He may have won the race, but there was a much better chance of him dying at the end of it than Bavetta. And you gotta love Bavetta diving for the half court line and landing squarely on his bony knees. Bavetta + HD is not a good mix.

--George Takei/Sulu/Hiro's Dad had the best take on Tim Hardaway on Kimmel.





--Next year and I don’t care if I have to pay for it, but we need to see Charlie Murphy ball against Prince.

--C’mon Tracy you let Brandon Davis into your party?!

--Pamela Anderson has a couple of grade-school sons and since she’s kind of a MILF she gets into some interesting situations as she told BlackBook magazine, "At a Lakers game, someone was trying to shove these naked pictures at me for me to sign, and [later] in the car, [the boys] go, 'Mom, they were trying to get you to sign naked pictures,' and I go, 'No, I was wearing a bikini' and they go, 'You were not wearing a bikini,' and I was like, 'I was wearing a bikini.' They were like, 'That's disgusting.' "

--The Smoking Gun obtained Joumana Kidd’s countersuit and it’s as good as you’d expect it to be. She says Kidd is a bit of a cad who has had extramarital sexytime with "several different television reporters, as well as strippers in Arizona, Sacramento, Miami, Dallas and Indiana, a Nets season ticket holder, a Nets employee, and a cheerleader in New Orleans.” Wow, stalk much Joumana? It gets better (not that spousal abuse if funny, but) she says he’s hit her with everything from a rock to a cookie. Yes, a cookie. If it was a sugar cookie and that sugar got in her eyes, well let’s just say Jason will be lucky to get only five years in jail. If it was a cookie with nuts in it who knows how long he’ll be behind bars. She also claims that one time Jason kicked her in the stomach causing blood to show up in her urine and Jason’s response was, “I don’t give a f***!”
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Bridget Moynahan is preggers with Tom Brady’s golden child?! Best headline goes to ProFootballTalk.com with “Brady Having ‘Protection Problems?’” WithLeather.com is always a great read and, on the heels of finding out Tom’s current girl toy Gisele Bundchen was taking pole dancing classes, came out with more Brady headlines that won’t be surprising when they come out:
Tom Brady Wins Lottery. Tom Brady Discovers Fountain of Youth.
Gisele: 'I Have No Gag Reflex.'
Gisele Declares Bisexuality, Brings Model Friends with Her to Bedroom.
Brady: 'I Didn't Even Know 13 Inches Was Big.'
It does not get better than Adriana, Alessandra, and Gisele.

--If you didn’t know and I think you did, Britney has lost her ever-loving mind. That “wig” she was photographed wearing was just ridiculous. Honestly the shaved head distracts from your ever-growing gut so just go with it. How much of a dumb bi*** do you have to be to lose your kids to Kevin Federline?!

--Least surprising new domain address? TimHardawayIsGay.com or BuyBritneysHair.com.

--The Las Vegas Review Journal probably got this item wrong because it doesn’t sound like the T.O. I know:
Dallas Cowboys lightning rod Terrell Owens, after getting knocked out of Alonzo Mourning's eight-ball tournament at the Wynn on Thursday, whined to organizers that his opponent was a ringer. That after Owens taunted his opponent throughout the pool match.

--Saturday Night Live might actually be worth watching this week with Dwight Schrute/Rainn Wilson handling hosting duties.

--Hooters is coming out with an energy drink?!

--Tell me Fox News isn’t trying a Daily Show-type show. I would post a clip, but it’s just really bad and not funny bad, just Mencia-bad.

--So Roger is 80-20 on not returning huh? Please no more comments until you’re ready to say for sure one way or the other. Until then who cares?

--Smell that?! Smells like someone is bullsh***** all over the place. Yeah, it’s Paula Abdul, "I've never been drunk. I have never done recreational drugs. Just look at my 20-year career. Tell me someone who is into partying and or doing drugs that could have done that." 20-year career? Umm, “Straight Up” and “Rush, Rush” were released within three years of each other and I’ll even give you being a “judge” on a talent show for the last five years so I’m still looking for 12 years of a “career.”

--Sadly not even seeing Amy Smart get nailed in the middle of Chinatown could save the 88 minute pile of crap known as Crank.

--In snow makes you crazy news…In Akron last week 72-year-old Robert Hudson wanted 56-year-old Neal Shafer to move his car which was parked outside of the hotel they both stay at. He wanted it moved so the city could plow. Shafer refused and the two men fought with the win going to the younger Shafer and the loser, Hudson, going to the hospital. Oh well, that’s over... well when the 72-year-old got discharged he went and beat down the 56-year-old and Shafer had to go to the hospital. So we’re tied at 1 going into the 3rd and final round. Yep, a 3rd round. Shafer headed into the hotel lobby and Hudson was waiting on him. And unfortunately for Shafer the only advantage he had was being 16 years younger. Hudson’s advantage? Experience….and a knife. Hudson finished Shafer for good, not for Shafer’s good. He’s dead because he didn’t want to move his car. Moral of the story…never date a woman with the first name of a state…wait different story.

--I don’t know why maybe because of the outstanding soundtrack, but I’ve always liked Rocky V. Sylvester Stallone doesn’t feel the same way, "The fifth Rocky disappointed a lot of people, including myself ... I should have maybe directed it or re-written it. Whatever it was, it was just wrong. Across the board it misfired, and I take responsibility for that. To have made four good films and have the last one turn out so badly left a bad taste in my mouth. It just broke my heart." Geez, Rocko this was the one you put your own son in.

--Whitney Houston and Brandy’s brother/Kim Kardashian’s sex tape partner Ray-J?!

--Seriously how good of a show is Heroes? Not that you're watching, but Rome has been even better than last season and it's a shame there won't be a third season. Damn you Agrippa for taking my Octavia.

--Not that you watched, but Sechew Powell and Ishe Smith should never be on HBO again, maybe a card on VS, but never on HBO. Boxing After Dark is sliding and the only way to get people to start watching again is by having better, more exciting fighters involved or just go ahead and move to UFC After Dark.

--The Oral B Vitality rechargeable toothbrush is where it’s at. Just thought you should know.

--Raymond Snuffer Jr. doesn’t sound like the name of a lucky guy, but it is. The guy is an airline pilot out of Minnesota and hit the lotto on Saturday for $25,000. The next day he played the same first number, 11, and went with five other different numbers following that and yep, he won another $25,000. Let it ride Snuff-man, let it ride.

--Your religious face or symbol on food item of the week goes to a man in North Carolina who says he found an image of Jesus on…grilled cheese- no, cheese nip- no, jelly roll- no, panini- no, this guy says he found his Jesus image on an oyster shell. Yeah, I’m not seeing it…
http://www.wsoctv.com/video/10991272/index.html

Questions, comments or if on Monday to celebrate the day you took a shot of Jager for each president you missed as you tried to name them all in sequential order…

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Years of Simmering Resentment

It's not often that I find vintage dresses with notes from the original owner attached, but this one caught my attention. This is a sweet day dress made in sewing class at college by Dorrice Trickey in 1935. It's pretty rare to find Depression era day dresses like this in such great condition, because it was a time of "making do" and wearing garments until they wore out.

My grandmother taught me to sew when I was 12 years old. One thing she always insisted upon was that I must use a thimble when sewing by hand. I didn't like it, I complained and groused, but I learned to use that thimble and gradually became used to it. Now I can't sew without one, and my family knows that my favorite thimble that fits just right better NOT disappear from my sewing table! With that in mind, here is the note that Dorrice attached to this dress:

"Made in Sewing Class at Farmington State Normal School. 1935 - Dorrice Trickey - Got a D because I didn't use a thimble".

I can just imagine Dorrice as a good all around student who prided herself on her high grades. But she just hates using that nasty thimble in Sewing Class! In a fit of pique, she decides she can complete her hand sewing on this dress just fine without it. And the teacher has the nerve to give her a D for that reason!!!!! Dorrice puts the dress away in her closet and vows to never wear it, but she can't throw it out - there's a Depression on. The dress sits in the back of her closet taunting her with that grade year after year. Her resentment simmers in the back of her mind, and when, late in life, Dorrice decides to donate her vintage clothing to a museum, she still remembers that D!

See this dress and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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In the place with the bass I'm going all the way

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I have never, ever, ever understood the appeal of Carlos Mencia. So when I see him get verbally b-slapped by Joe Rogan and a bunch of other comics onstage, well, it made my Thursday…hopefully this video stays up longer than five minutes since Mencia is tearing them off the web since he doesn't really come off all that well...


--Some people like, I don’t know, the U.S. military need to understand 24 is, you know, a television show. Brigadier General Patrick Finnegan on the torture scenes, “"I'd like them to stop. They should do a show where torture backfires. The kids see it and say, 'If torture is wrong, what about 24?' The disturbing thing is that although torture may cause Jack Bauer some angst, it is always the patriotic thing to do." Damn straight it is, there are still three freakin’ suitcase nukes out there.
She will be back on someday, right?

--Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker together again?!

--Jimenny is what we’re going with for Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey?!

--Kristin Davis and Rick Fox?!
Shaggy Dog...very memorable.

--We head to Georgia for this…A couple lives at the bottom of the hill and has a problem with speeders in the neighborhood so they installed three video cameras and a radar detector to try to get people to slow down to create a safer world for their child. So one day a cop speeds by 17 MPH over the limit and the couple brings this to the attention of the police. So later they get a visit by the police saying the officer in question is filing stalking charges against the couple. It’s a mad world.

--Note to Bernard Hopkins, who is coming out of “retirement” to face Winky Wright, fans don’t get excited about your fights anyway much less when you talk like this, “If I don’t get any cuts, any injuries and I can stay out of the real hard fights, I could go another 4 or 5 years on my defense alone.”

--Donald Trump and Vince McMahon in a hair match?!

--Definition of scene-stealer: Saracen’s friend Landry on Friday Night Lights.

--Not Jessica Biel or Rachel Bilson or Sophia Bush, but British actress Michelle Ryan is your next Wonder Woman. She was on Eastenders where I presume she had some hilarious scenes with Barry.

--Reggie Bush and Ciara?!

--Oh the links men go to keep their wives from tearing their heads off. In California a 35-year-old man crashed his car and didn’t want to tell wifey because he feared the wrath. So he told police that he was kidnapped by two men and the only way he could escape was to crash the car. Yeah, he couldn’t keep the lie going and so now faces criminal charges for filing a false report although they may just let him deal with his wife.

--A Micky Ward biopic that stars Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg?!

--The “T” in Tim Hardaway stands for tolerant…LeBatard, “Tim, you know what you’re saying is homophobic…flat bigotry.” Tim, “Well, umm, I hate gay people.”




--A live-action Underdog movie?! A biopic on Milli Vanilli?!

--The newest drink item from Japan? Bilk. Yeah, that would be a combination of beer and milk. Apparently Japanese people aren’t consuming enough milk so some liquor store owner whose shop is in the biggest dairy region decided to combine the two and came up with something that smells like milk as 30% of the drink is, but tastes like beer. Beer is an acceptable substitute for milk in cereal so I guess why not?

--The first fifteen minutes of the season premiere of The Shield is on bud.tv?!

--Prescription drugs are now second only to marijuana in getting teenagers high. Now you know although you probably already knew.

--We head to Tennessee where we get an update on our old friend Jobu from Major League. Evidently Jobu spends his days cleaning up debris in a Chattanooga neighborhood. The other day some lady flagged down an officer and claimed a man named Jobu was chasing her around with a pickaxe perhaps for stealing his rum, I don’t know. The officer saw the whole thing and Jobu was cleared and I’m sure the lady brought him a live chicken as an apology.

--This next story only sounds like it’s from Tennessee, but in fact this comes from Pennsylvania. Rebecca Johnson was pregnant and started having intense contractions so she got her mom to take her to the hospital. She stepped out of the car and boom, "I didn't know what happened until he was in my pant leg."

--A new season of The Deadliest Catch begins on April 3rd.

--Heather Mills is not even close to a C-list celebrity so let’s not do anything rash like put her on Dancing with the Stars.

--I heart Marisa Miller.

Questions, comments or if you’re still not sure you were really watching Tony Romo, Mr. Belding and some heavy metal band belt out “Don’t Stop Believin”…

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A "Seam"ingly Simple Blouse

What's so special? It's a basic blouse from the 50's made from cotton broadcloth in stripes of olive and maroon. The cuffs fold back, it buttons up the front, its washable. So, what's the big deal that makes this blouse special enough to show you?

Take a look at that collar! Instead of taking the easy way out and cutting the upper collar from one piece, the designer has manipulated the stripes so they form a right angle with a bias cut seam. Those of you who sew, know that not only is a bias seam difficult to stitch without the fabric stretching out of shape, to get those stripes perfectly matched while doing so, is a task for an expert. All for a simple casual blouse!

I've said it over and over: it's the details that grab my attention and that make vintage clothing so special. You can't get quality like this at the mall.

See this blouse and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Wedding Week!

It's Valentine's week, and we've been thinking of romance, which leads us to weddings! This week at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion, we're featuring 6 wedding gowns that date from the 1890's to the 1940's. My personal favorite is the complete 1920's wedding ensemble shown above that comes with the dress, headpiece and veil, shoes, stockings, hankie, ring pillow, and groom's bowtie!

Or maybe its the silk satin bias cut beauty that Jean Harlow would have been proud to wear.

No, wait! Every girl dreams of a huge train that trails halfway down the aisle, like the one on this stunner from the 1940's.

But you'll have to pop on over to Couture Allure Vintage Fashion to see the Edwardian dress with the court train! Oh, I'm such a tease!

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I'm the A.D.R.O.C.K.

Rockets = Good, Mavericks = Better…For Now

The Rockets have had a helluva figurative first half of the season. Fourteen games over .500 and just a game and a half out of the 3 spot despite not having Yao for 20+ games is just incredible. A ton of credit to Jeff Van Gundy and every single player on that team. The one player they need to ever have a chance at knocking off Dallas is Yao. The Rockets miss him more against the Mavericks than any other elite team because without him Dallas can roll a bunch of different lineups out there and don’t really have to play Erick Dampier and Desagna Diop and Houston needs those guys to play. We’ll see what happens on Thursday, but whether it’s here or there Dallas is just a superior team while Yao is out. No shame in saying that, the Mavericks are 42-9 and haven’t lost at home since, I don’t know, Thanksgiving?

--Luther Head and Shane Battier each have more 3-pointers than 2-pointers.

--This is just stupid, but Steve Nash has more double-doubles (34) than LeBron (11) and Jason Kidd (20) combined.

--Isiah may have gotten a lot of things wrong, but he got David Lee right. The guy doesn’t even start and he’s 8th in the league in rebounding at 10.8 per.

--This was just amazing…


--Randy Foye has replaced Mike James in Minnesota’s starting lineup. Yeah, that’s not really working out for you Mike is it?

--I picked the Cavaliers to get to the Finals, but they haven’t exactly been tearing it up in that awful East. Having said or written that Cleveland is 12-7 overall vs. the West and 8-1 at home against the Western Conference.

--Bobby Flay is in the All Star Celebrity game?! I’m thinking a throwdown is unlikely.

--For the life of me I can’t figure out why the NBA hasn’t b-slapped Tyrus Thomas right out of the dunk contest after he said, "I'm just going to go out there, get my check and call it a day... I'm just into the free money. That's it. I'll just do whatever when I get out there." If dude doesn’t want to spend a weekend in Vegas and be judged by the likes of Michael Jordan and Dr. J. then piss off. The league has got enough problems that it doesn’t need some rookie who has accomplished zero to crap on All Star Weekend. That is why this is the best NBA highlight from the first half of the season…

How about Doug “Blondie” Collins telling the other guy to tell him what happened because he can’t watch? Geez Doug it’s not like Joe Theismann’s leg getting snapped or something. Man up because part of announcing a basketball game is, well, you know watching it, even the replays.

--Seriously Jason Kapono is hitting 55% of his three-pointers. Sticking with the unlikely Miami producers theme…Jason Williams leads the league in assist to turnover ratio.

--Daniel Gibson is 4th in 3-point percentage at 46% and also has more 3s than he does 2s.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Seriously America 33 million dollars for Norbit last weekend?! C’mon America you’re only encouraging Eddie.

--The first hour of 24 this week was why I like 24. The second hour is why this show is slipping big-time. That and it runs opposite Heroes, which is just gold.

--For a few years now you could hire out Clutch to deliver a Valentine-gram or something to that effect. That’s nice, but if you really want to show her how much you care and you live within 45 miles of Miller Park you can get the racing sausages to deliver your Valentine’s message and what lady doesn’t want a sausage on Valentine’s Day?

--Drudge Report headline of the week: Talking urinals offer drinking and driving device.
That is fan-tastic. I cannot wait until I walk into a restroom and see a guy arguing with a talking urinal cake. And how did those ever get to be known as “cakes.” I mean why not discs or piss targets? Cakes? Although they do look like those snoballs, which I presume are nasty.

--Drudge Report headline that best sums up a crazier and crazier situation each day:
#5: Bodyguard of Anna Nicole Smith: “I could be daddy.”

--A new list of the fattest and fittest cities is out and you can probably guess which list Houston made. The fittest city according to the Men’s Fitness criteria is Albuquerque followed by Seattle. The fattest city in America is shockingly not in Texas. In fact, I’ll give you eight guesses…

The fattest city is none other than Vegas, baby. San Antonio checks in at 2 as the first of four Texas cities on the list. Houston, Dallas and El Paso are 6th, 7th and 8th.

--Because you can never get enough of Dr. Cox…

Did you know Dr. Cox was The White Shadow on The Boondocks? When the hell is that show coming back? Shouldn’t it be easier to roll out those episodes since he stopped writing the strip? Because I like to answer my own questions Huey and company will be back in March.

--A longtime Scrubs cast member is going to die this season?!

--Nick Cannon is getting his Wild n Out on with Kim Kardashian?!

--Last December Wayne Schenk of New York was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and given a year to 18 months to live. Just over a month later he bought a $5 lottery scratch off ticket and won $1 million. That’s good except a stipulation is that it pays $50,000 over 20 years. So that’s not so good and New York isn’t budging from its rule.

--Tell me Lionel Richie did not sing “Hello” at the Grammys. Hero Nathan Petrelli is married to Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks?! I love Gnarls, but my man, you don’t always have to say yes to awards shows and you don’t always have to play “Crazy.” Did John Mayer just address rumors about Jessica Simpson in Japanese to Ryan Seacrest? Oh crap, am I watching another Red Carpet show?!

--That had to hurt…


--Ghost Rider looks like it’ll dominate next year’s Razzies. Here are 21 signs you’re watching a bad Nicholas Cage movie…i.e. If Nic’s hair is longer than four inches, you are watching a bad Nicolas Cage movie.
http://www.thejay.com/2007/02/09/bad-nicolas-cage-movie/

Questions, comments or if one night this week you want to come home drunk, make a pizza, flip on the TV and see that Cadence starts in five minutes…oh don’t you know that’s the sound of the men working on the chain ga-ang…oh don’t you know…

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I'm like Jimmy Walker, I'm dyno-mite!!

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--When watching 24 you have to let a lot of things slide and I’m fine with that to a point, but c’mon guys pick it up. How weird is it to see Calamity Jane clean and sober on Lost?! If we can just get Swearengen to battle 24’s new vice president Powers Boothe we can kick that show up a motherf*&* notch!

--24 meets The Mooninites and Aqua Teen Hunger Force?!


--Roy and Pam together again?! How f’n hilarious was it when Ryan swatted away the bouquet that was heading Kelly’s way?

--John Amaechi is gay…and the world yawned. NBA players made stupid ass quotes like Shavlik Randolph, "As long as you don't bring your gayness on me, I'm fine.”

--How sweet that the NFC players voted to let Tony Romo hold the ball on field goals and extra points.

--Kim Kardashian Superstar will be out on DVD later this month. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking her “explicit water sports” (golden shower is an explicit water sport?) action with her old boyfriend Ray J will be online for free a lot sooner. She’s kind of got a good body.
How funny the one with the sex tape just released is having the better week.

--Things are looking up Britney. Getting dumped by a guy no one has ever heard of is a good sign.

--Damn, I love this show…


--This is what Teri Hatcher told UK Glamour, "I don't use Botox or Restylane and I've never had any surgery, no matter what you've read. That's the one downside to fame - on any one day you can find loads of hideously mean things said about you online.” Remember when Teri Hatcher had her lawyers make me write a retraction that one time? That was hilarious, almost as hilarious as her saying she’s never had Botox or surgery. Yeah, right. Passion wagon.

--Hayden Panettiere is dating Stephen from Laguna Beach?! C’mon cheerleader, you’re better than that.

--Oh the lengths women will go to in order to hang onto to their man. A mother in Muskegon, Michigan was recovering from surgery and feared her man was going to run around hunting for another woman to have liquid explosion in so she did what any good mother, good girlfriend would do. She offered up her 15-year-old daughter via a written agreement with her boyfriend. The bar has been raised on the Mother of the Year award.

--For Ex-Wife of the Year we head to Oakdale, California. There 50-year-old Angela Nellany was trying to kill her former husband. She paid a family friend to put a bunch of wasps in his car. The ex-husband is allergic to wasps so there’s the thinking there. Ex had been told his wife wanted him dead, but he didn’t believe the rumors…until he started his car and wasps started shooting out of the vents. He managed to escape without getting stung. She didn’t manage to escape jail time.

--And finally we make it to our Father of the Year candidate who hails from Atlanta. This guy wanted to get some money from Campbell’s by claiming its soup made his children sick. What kind of BAM! did Daddy add to the soup for his 3-year-old and 18-month-old? Well first, that’s right he did this twice, first he put lighter fluid and hot peppers in the soup and that landed the kids in the hospital. The second time he went for it all by kicking things up a notch with prescription drugs Prozac and Amitriptyline, which may have helped their depression problems, but landed them another hospital visit as well. Daddy dumbass called Campbell’s and threatened to sue and Campbell’s said bring it. He did not and now he faces five years in a federal prison.

--A Ben & Jerry’s ice cream called Americone Dream with Stephen Colbert on the carton?!

--No truth to the rumor Brad Lidge came up with the questions that Albert Pujols aced in scoring a 100 on his U.S. citizenship test.

--Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations is new to my DVR list and well worth setting asided 45 minutes for each week. If you’d like to know what Anthony thinks of the Food Network personalities then here ya go…

Questions, comments, or if every week you look at the sportsflash computer’s history folder and tell of its contents in your flash because one particular anchor not named Fizzle, Danny, Rob or Clanton has the hormones of a 12-year-old boy instead of say an adult sports director and yet every day he continues to visit the nude likes of Andie Macdowell and Sherilyn Fenn with no shame and he’s only been emboldened since the door was replaced and now has now window on it…

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So, What You Sayin'? I Explode On Site

i'm going to start updating three or four times a week so check in whenever you need a break from the drudgery of life and an update on Heroes or Lost or Extras or Scrubs or damn, i watch a lot of TV...

4-1 Homestand and Big Game 41

The bulk of Rockets’ games during the Tracy McGrady era come down to one simple thing…how high Tracy’s motor is running in the first several minutes of the ballgame. When he’s aggressive early on, even if he’s missing like he was on Monday, the team plays at a higher level and you know he’ll start hitting his shots sooner or later. The guy has just put this team on his bad back and has gotten just enough help that the boys are once again a season-high 13 games over .500 without the services of the best center in the league. Amazing and it can only get better with a soft February whose only challenges are the Mavericks twice and the Magic on the road.

--So on Monday the Warriors were visiting the Pacers and their buses needed police escorts because of all the traffic from the Colts’ parade. One of the buses got in fender bender so police came aboard that bus and Don Nelson cracked on new Warrior Stephen Jackson, "I told Jackson to get down and keep quiet." Jackson presumably shot Nelson in the face.

--Some former NBA player who wasn’t a prominent name and left the league a few years ago will come out of the closet on Valentine’s Day according to a couple of reports. Is Christian Laettner a prominent name?

--You probably don’t remember Todd Bozeman, but he used to be the basketball coach at Cal before he started paying players. Anyway, he’s landed at Morgan State University in Baltimore. So Bozeman sends an assistant coach to Mulligan’s restaurant to order 52 sandwiches divided between Philly steak or chicken. Okay, well the restaurant can’t handle all of those Phillys so they tell the assistant they can do a variety and the assistant is cool with that. So Bozeman goes to pick up the samiches and apparently isn’t too fond of the ham ones. The manager of Mulligan’s explains, "The coach . . . just went belligerent, screaming that he didn't want ham sandwiches. He put his hands on one of our managers . . . just grabbed her and shook her." Bozeman went on to scream, “He yelled, 'I ain't scared of you country bumpkins. I want my . . . money back!'"

--When the expectation level is so low and you still perform under expectations you’ve got problems. I’m looking at you Rex Grossman.

--The Super Bowl was the 2nd most watched Super Bowl after XXX and the third most watched program in television history behind XXX and the MASH finale.

--Prince absolutely killed!

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Poor Justin Timberlake is juggling Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson. Kind of an upgrade over Cameron Diaz. By the way, I’m sure you remember Justin’s Punk’d. Apparently he was high during it although I’ve never really associated being high with being vulnerable to crying spells.

--Because if ever given the chance you know the Beatles would have loved working with Trent Reznor…






--The Hardy Men with Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller?!

--Glen & Gary & Glen & Ross, probably a good time to turn the sound down if you’re at work…


--Weird Science 2?!

--Hershey’s has been named the official chocolate of the 2007 World Series of Poker. Now you know…By the way, I’ll be picking Barry Greenstein to win it all this year.

--More fun Drudge headline to be a part of: “Bull sharks sink shrimping boat off Fort Myers” or “Wild eagles attack paraglider”?

--Lost is back!!!!

--How can you not want to take a short quiz to find out which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character you are? Me, I’m a Frylock.

Questions, comments or if you like the cars, the cars that go boom…

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