You Can't, You Won't and You Don't Stop

Introductions

Reality, these are the Astros. Astros, this is Reality. I’ll let you two get to know each other.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Say what you want about Stephon Marbury the basketball player, but Stephon Marbury the man I’m down with. Anyone who wants to make decent looking, quality shoes for a fraction of the cost of the major brands, makes fun of Stephen A., and gives out $100 tips and $300 to a homeless guy who was watching his Bentley is an all right guy in my book.

--Kevin Durant is the NCAA March Madness ’08 cover boy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I would draft Durant over Oden every day of the week and twice on draft day.

--Who knows what the Rockets will do? I just hope I've heard of the guy.

--Something out of New Zealand more bizarre than The Flying Conchords. American heavyweight boxer Kelvin Davis was running down the road and going over a busy bridge when he freaked out because of the apparently too close for comfort cars. So he did what any normal, level-headed guy would do. He jumped off the bridge and dropped several meters (however far that is) onto rocks. Yeah, fortunately for him he’s not paralyzed. Dude was knocked the f’ out though and when he woke up two hours later he somehow climbed back up to the bridge and flagged down some help. Next up back surgery…and mapping out routes free of those tempting bridges.

--On July 1st A Concert for Diana will, in my humble American opinion, be highlighted by Ricky Gervais and Mackenzie Crook reprising “Free Love Freeway.” I marry the girl who allows this to be our wedding dance song.


--Note to Daily Show and Colbert: We really need to make the tosses every single night boys.

--No need to add anything to this first line courtesy of Local6.com: “Two women in Seminole County, Fla., are accused of performing sex acts in front of children at a community pool bathroom while a third woman photographed them, according to a police report.”

--I still can’t believe what Chris Benoit did. Just insane. I heard right before I was posting my column late on Monday. So I spent the next fifteen minutes wondering what to say about one of my favorite wrestlers and what video I could find that would accurately portray his skills. Then murder-suicide rumors came down and you just knew they were true. You f’n piece of sh** Chris! What the f*** was so wrong with you that your wife and child had to pay!!
Vince McMahon said this early in Tuesday’s ECW show after the tribute show it aired Monday:

"Last night on 'Monday Night Raw,' the WWE presented a special tribute show, recognizing the career of Chris Benoit. However, now some 26 hours later, the facts of this horrific tragedy are now apparent. Therefore, other than my comments, there will be no mention of Mr. Benoit tonight. On the contrary, tonight's show will be dedicated to everyone who has been affected by this terrible incident. This evening marks the first step of the healing process. Tonight, the WWE performers will do what they do better than anyone else in the world -- entertain you."

----It was Execution Tuesday as Texas, Georgia and Oklahoma each lowered its population by 1. In Texas some piece of crap named Patrick Knight died after promising to deliver a joke as his last words. He was getting sometimes 20 suggestions a day and ended up going with, "I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That's the biggest joke. I deserve this." I don’t get it, but then again my sense of humor only kicks in when listening to comedians who haven’t murdered. Georgia eliminated John Hightower who killed his family. It was Georgia’s first execution in two years. Finally in Oklahoma two-time killer Jimmy Dale Bland was executed despite only being given 6 months to live by a doctor. Apparently Jimmy Dale had cancer and why they didn’t make him suffer through 6 more months of it I’ll never know.
Padma '08
--When our youth can’t hold up “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” banners on a public sidewalk just to have fun with the school’s principal then we’ve got sense of humor problems America. So there ya go kiddies you can now doze off when history teacher starts talking first amendment and free speech because that doesn’t apply to you. By the way the kid who pulled this prank five years ago is now teaching English to students in China because, as you know, students here have mastered the English language.

--Whoa, cocaine now comes in flavors like strawberry, coconut, vanilla, and strawberry?! Pixie sticks still cheaper and you know, legal.

--Seriously Victoria or Posh or whatever…a $500,000 leather-floor closet?!

Questions, comments or if you think it's time you revisited Memento...

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Playing with Princess Seams

In the mid 1960's, when the simple shift dress became popular, designers began experimenting with seams to add some visual interest to what could be a pretty basic style. This 1960's coat is by a company named Irvama-Carmel. I don't know who the designer was, but I love the ingenious use of the S curve in the front Princess seams.

The seam starts at the neckline under the collar, and curves out over the bust, back in above the waist, and then out to the side seam. That seam incorporates the bust shaping and also provides placement for the faux pocket flaps. Why use a straight dart when you can do something so much more pleasing to the eye?

See this coat and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Let The Beat Drrrrrooooop...

--WTF Chris Benoit?! Your wife?! Your son?! WTF?!


0-6 vs. Pirates, 1-5 vs. Rangers…Yeah, That's About Right

Okay people, I think even the most die-hard (live free or not) of you realize this team is not good. "Not good" is putting it nicely, but I promised myself no first sentence regarding the Astros would incorporate words like "suck" or "crap." But now three sentences in I can tell you the Astros are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked now that the bullpen is a complete crapshoot (emphasis on crap). Hooray for Dan Wheeler becoming this year's version of Brad Lidge and hooray for Phil Garner for leaving him out there to be abused. We have five weeks until the non-waiver trade deadline and Houston should be moving some parts for some kids. Bye bye Mark Loretta, Mike Lamb, and anyone else not named Lance, Roy, Hunter or Carlos. You probably can't get a sack of baseballs for Morgan Ensberg, but if you throw in Orlando Palmeiro maybe. Has any team ever tried trading its GM because that could be a viable option for this team. I wonder if Tim Purpura calls other GMs and asks them if they're interested in Brian Moehler and the other general managers are like, well if we liked him we'd just call him up and sign him, he's not with anybody right and Tim has to say ummm…well actually he's been an Astro all season long.

--Apparently the White Sox have evaluated Houston prospects (that shouldn't have taken too long) in the chance that the 'Stros want to get in on the imminent Mark Buehrle trade. Wouldn't that be fun? Trade more of the already depleted youth for a free agent to be.

--The Brewers have the 2nd best home record in the Majors so yeah, this should be a fun start to the week.

--The Rockies have more wins against AL East teams than the Yankees do?!

--Two minor league promotions of note this week…On Monday the Lake Elsinore Storm celebrate Nothing Night. Nothing means nothing, from no PA announcer to no concessions, just the game and only the game. On Tuesday the Long Beach Armada honor Worst Music of All Time Night. At gametime the winner among these classics will be announced: Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City", Billy Ray's "Achy Breaky Heart", "Mmm Bop" from those crazy Hansen boys, "Rico Suave" from my boy Gerardo, "Too Legit To Quit" from Reverend Hammer, "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy (for you youngstas, Eddie used to be a funny stand up comedian before hitting it big with Pluto Nash), and of course, "Ice Ice Baby" from Rob Van Winkle. I'll give it to Eddie because well, you've heard it.

--Maybe you saw that Miguel Tejada's consecutive games played streak ended last week due to a wrist injury. Nice job by interim manager Dave Trembley playing Miggie out there for one inning the day after he suffered the injury just so Tejada could keep the streak alive. Nykesha Sales thinks that's weak.

--Magglio Ordonez's numbers are just sick, but so is what Derek Jeter has accomplished. Through 73 games Jeter has had three separate hitting streaks of at least 17 games. Doing that in that amount of time hasn't happened in 58 seasons. In his career he has nine streaks of at least 15 games with a hit. Two other active players are also at the top with nine such streaks? No, not Orlando Palmeiro. Yes, Willy Taveras (no, not really…yet). Vlad and Nomar.

--Tell me Reggie Jackson didn't try to check in at a New York hotel and "bitterly complained" when he didn't get the Yankee discount.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I'm not saying Bonzi doesn't make the Rockets better. I'm just saying that if you expect him to pick up where he left off in one round of a postseason series two years ago then maybe you need to put down the kool-aid and the bong. In those six games he nearly doubled his career scoring average and averaged 8 more rebounds than what he's averaged in his career. Get excited, but also let reality sink in a little and hope that this time Bonzi comes into camp in shape and this time his attitude is much better and this time he doesn't battle injuries off and on and this time he doesn't quit on his coach via text message.

--There's no way Hung loses Top Chef, right? There's no way anyone wins Hell's Kitchen, right?


--I'm not big on baseball games, but The Bigs looks promising.

--Thank you University of Texas Health Science Center for pointing out what we all know: Study Links Hurricane Stress to Teen Smoking. D'uh. Seriously, WTF and WhoTF paid for this?
Oh, to be an award-winning film editor.

--TBS is going to start running The Office and My Name is Earl reruns in the fall. Everyone knows Office rules, but give Earl a shot if you haven't already.


--Final Destination: Feet Edition occurred last Thursday at the Six Flags in Louisville . The "Superman Tower of Power" is kinda like Sky Screamer (moment of silence for all of us who put pennies on our knees to watch the show…). When the ride lifted to 177 feet some cable snapped and whipped around inside where the riders were. Everyone lifted their legs except for one 16-year-old girl whose feet were severed at the ankles. Six Flags is about to lose a helluva lot of money.

--OK! is paying $2 million to photograph Tony and Eva's wedding?!

--Sadly I'm sure you heard the following news before hearing any updates on Iraq or Sudan or other such trivialities, but Kobayashi is out of the July 4 th Coney Island Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Apparently his jaw has let him down during training. Whatever, Joey Chestnut beat your record and you're not stomach enough to win it back. I'm not sure why, but I think July 4th will remain a holiday this year.

--Jessica Biel in GQ. Wa-Wa-Wee-Wa. These aren't those and you want to see those.

--Canada is always one step ahead of our fair country as evidenced by the release of its first ambulance for those patients weighing 1,000 pounds or more.

--How good did BJ Penn look on Saturday? Big shock…BJPenn.com crashed after he promoted it in his post-fight "interview." How crazy was that finish between Rob Emerson and Gray Maynard? Too bad Manny's shoulder popped out because that guy is a freakin' beast and I think would've taken care of Nate Diaz.

--What does no Astros Sunday afternoon game mean? Not one, but two soccer games!! The U.S. – Mexico game was great in the second half particularly when each team blew phenomenal opportunities in the final minutes. Of course, the U.S. and Dynamo both won.

--Nothing quite matches the intensity of a Saturday night game of Yahtzee. A huge battle took place in Ybor City, Florida over the weekend between Mark Allen, 49, and the girlfriend of Reuben Barnett. The excitement was apparently too much for Reuben to take so he went to his bedroom early and his girlfriend played on until she and Mark got into an argument. She went to Reuben's bedroom and shut the door. Mark calmly went to the door and kicked that mf'er off its hinges. Then he and Reuben threw down with Mark stabbing Reuben twice in the gut. Game over and sadly Reuben's life also over. F'n Yahtzee!!! How many more people have to die before they stop making this game!!!

--Next January a new Transformers animated series hits Cartoon Network. It doesn't get better than Beast Wars.
Megan Fox has a tattoo on the inside of her forearm of Marilyn Monroe's face. Now you know.

--Breathe easy America, Rosie has taken herself out of the running for The Price is Right.

--Your teacher/student sex story of the day comes to us from Florida. There Ralph Shollenberger is alleged to have had relations twice with the same 15-year-old girl. When Ralph was questioned he said he didn't remember the girl and that he believed he was meeting with the older sister of the girl he doesn't remember. Of course, the girl he doesn't remember has no sister. You don't think he's lyin…nah.

Questions, comments or if you ever played Sea Monkey-cide as a kid…

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Vintage Coats II

As promised, here are more vintage coats from our 2007 collection, now available in our store.

1960's Mohair Boucle Coat with Mink Trim

1950's Karakul Coat with Mink Trim

1950's Navy Cashmere Swing Jacket

See these coats and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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ICKY THUMP!!!!!!!!

Sports Bits

--Maybe he’s an Astro after all…Julio Lugo is 14 for his last 112 to drop him to .205 – 3rd worst among AL regulars.

--In Days of Elijah news… Elijah Dukes is up to six kids by five different women if the 17-year-old foster child’s story is true making Big Love Elijah is a daddy for the 6th time before hitting the age of 23. At least he’s hitting something because he’s been terrible this season. By last count he was 5 for his last 51. So with the ladies he’s 6 for his last 10? 15? 20? That’s a high average. Anyway the relatives and acquaintances of Elijah have been coming out of the woodwork to help and hurt his case. The other morning after the soon to be ex-wife (one whose life he threatened with a text pic of a gun) went on the air Elijah heard about it and had enough. So he called the station and embarrassed himself further with quotes like, "Just like the Bible says, If you know it's not true you don't have to say anything and I haven't been saying anything. But I will say something about this situation with my mom out my mouth, because everyone knows I do love my mom. And I am tough on my mom but I know for fact I never told nobody my mom smoked crack because that would be a lie on my behalf. She never told me and I never caught her.'' You can find the entire thing on 620wdae.com.

--Rice catcher Danny Lehmann is a nephew of Dog the Bounty Hunter?!

--Bonnie Bernstein getting some love and hosting NFL Live?! She’ll be a part of the Three Mikes and a Lady MNF broadcasting team which will be together for all of one game this season.

--Gotta love ProFootballTalk.com talking about Chris Brown re-signing with the Titans and mentioning LenDale White in the backfield along with Arizona rookie Chris “Maybe I Should Go By My Middle Name” Henry.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Ladies and gentlemen Flight of the Conchords…


--Rosie on The Price Is Right is a scary idea. I mean is that really the platform for a blowhard like her. Peterman or George Hamilton I can see, but despite her large appearance I can’t see Rosie in that role. How about Steve Sanders getting a look? Mario Lopez is also in the mix along with some guy who used to host Wild On and some guy from The Early Show.

--I’ve only listened to Icky Thump (new one by White Stripes, of course) 14 or 15 times through and…are you sitting down?...it’s f’n awesome…I know who’d a thunk it? Conquest, I’m Slowly Turning Into You, Little Cream Soda and so on, it just may be their best ever. I’ll let you know after my next 15 listens. And if Houston is lucky enough to get a date with the Stripes this city better f’n represent better than it did when Jack came with The Raconteurs. Helluva show not that you’d know Houston. C’mon now!

--Jimmy Fallon to take over for Conan O’Brien once he takes over for Jay Leno?! Remember that time Jimmy Fallon during a joke or sketch he was in? Me neither.

--Sorry Chance, but Claire’s boyfriend for Heroes next season has now been cast.

--Anthony Michael Hall as The Riddler?! Works for me.

--Is it mandatory that on Hell’s Kitchen every week, Bonnie gets shown in a bikini or underwear? Because that’s a good idea. By the way, I think in the fall Gordon Ramsay has another show coming to Fox. This one will be a take off of what they show on BBC America where Gordon goes to a struggling restaurant and tries to help the owners turn it around. I like that show, Kitchen Nightmares, just as much if not more than Hell’s. Just to welcome his new show to America a chef in New York is suing Gordon alleging that Ramsay got him fired and the show wasn’t honest. What? I can’t believe everything I see on TV? Yeah right and the series of tubes known as the Internets lie too. Pfft, please.

--How good does Hairspray with John Travolta look? Oh boy! Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega should take him out for a ride, put him in the backseat and look for the nearest bump in the road.

--Perennial top three fantasy pick Larry Johnson is going to be in Fantasia’s next video. At first Sony wanted Jamie Foxx, but apparently right after Jamie’s name was Larry’s who “gets” to kiss Fantasia at the end.


--Unfortunately nowadays, it takes something special to differentiate a teacher/student sex story from the rest of the teacher/student sex stories. In Wisconsin a substitute teacher was having sexytime with a 13-year-old boy. Yawn. The student stole his mom’s car for the ill-fated rendezvous that was uncovered by the boy’s father. Oh yeah. Apparently Miss Substitute Teacher was having relations with the boy at her home while her husband and daughter were there at the house. What the?! The boy’s football coach says, “He was dating the lady's 13-year-old daughter before this happened.” Well, yeah, that separates this one from the run-of-the-mill teacher/student sexytime stories.

--Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan are done?! Charlie, wtf are you thinking?!
No truth to the rumors Kate is now dating Ol' Smokey.

--We’ve all hit our share of houses or cars or people or wildlife while playing out on a golf course. I had never heard of anyone hitting a shot that caused a brush fire that consumed nearly 20 acres of land. Some hacker at a course in Reno hit a shot well off the fairway and when he played it back his club hit something that sparked the fire. After dude yelled at his boys “look at me I’m on fire today!” the fire engines rolled in.

--A Bret Michaels version of Flavor of Love?! Scott Baio with one coming out as well?!

--This next one is almost like an unofficial kickoff of summer…You know that game your parents played with you or you play with your kids where the kid is under the covers and you sit on him and you go “this bed sure is bumpy. I wonder where little Britney is?”. Usually that game takes place on a bed or maybe even a couch. Not usually in the driveway because it takes on more of a darker humor that very few people can appreciate. A Walton, Kentucky 16-year-old daughter did not appreciate it when she was laying out to get some sun and chose the driveway as her tanning bed. Her dad chose the driveway to, you know, park his car after work. Let the fun begin. She’s scratched up pretty bad, but won’t die unless she wasn’t using something SPF 30+, in that case it’s just a matter of time.

--Christina Aguilera is preggers?!

--Is there not some way we can keep Erin Andrews on-screen for the entirety of these CWS games?

--Our life imitates Surviving the Game story of the week comes to us from Tampa Bay. A 38-year-old man told police he was kidnapped last Saturday and dropped off in the woods. At that point he proceeded to play the part of the deer or pig or choose your hunted animal. Meanwhile he alleges four other men started after him with bows and arrows. He said they told him to run and he did while arrows were landing all around him. This happened in the morning and sometime around 5 PM he managed to make it out of the woods without any new piercings. The guy says the hunters came up to him at a gas station and forced him into their vehicle. Genius tells police that he recognized two of the men because he sold crack to them before. Shocking no arrests have been made.

--Our dumbass of the week comes to us from Glens Falls. There Shawn Breault was going about his usual bartending duties at The Daily Double when he noticed our dumbass, Frederick Stimpson, taking $441 out of the register. As Stimpson tried to get out he lunged at Breault who punched him the f’ out with one blow. See you don’t want to f’ with a bartender who is a former boxer and Toughman participant. Stimpson tried again to escape, but Breault was there. Not with his fists or his feet, but with a bottle of hot sauce that he proceeded to smother Stimpson’s face with. Game over. When police arrived Stimpson told them he only took the money because he was dared to by a couple of bar customers. Apparently Stimpson is a sucker for dares as he’s a four-time felon on parole. Dumbass and it’s pronounced dumb-ass. Officer Swartz is a comedian, “It smelled like chicken wings when I walked into the station.” Move over chicken and waffles, hot wings and donuts about to blow up.

--Oh yeah, bitch it’s f’n on!!!! What now?


--Congratulations America...20 crates of fan mail to Paris in jail. I hope that lands on you on the terror watch list.

--I like pizza. I like beer so I’m down for pizza beer. Tom Seefurth of Illinois is the creator of Mama Mia beer that’ll be available soon in Aurora, Illinois and maybe eventually the world or online or who the hell knows, it might be the nastiest combination since lime juice and Bailey’s. The guy and his wife had a surplus of garden tomatoes and he was already a brewing nerd so he created a tomato-garlic puree and went from there and he even throws in slices of pizza during the brewing process.

Questions, comments or if you got your chocolate in my peanut butter or my peanut butter in your chocolate…

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When's the Best Time to Buy a Vintage Coat?

NOW! We're listing our 2007 collection of vintage coats this week, and we've got some beauties for you! Shop early for the best selection. We're usually sold out early!

1970's Rust Wool Coat with Mink Collar

1960's Mohair Plaid Clutch Coat

1940's Purple Velvet Beaded Evening Coat

1950's Baby Blue Clutch Coat

More tomorrow!

See these coats and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Step Up To The Bar Put The Girl Down

Start of Something Big?

Probably not, but a sweep is a sweep is a sweep. It’s nice that the Astros aren’t dead because they play in the worst division in baseball, but they’re just not that good. Maybe they’ll start playing better, but I don’t think they’re any better than a .500 team. My biggest problem is that they continue to have Orlando Palmeiro, Brian Moehler and Trever Miller on this roster. Why? They are all veterans who have been terrible this season and the club has suitable replacements for them in Round Rock. C’mon Tim, get out the release forms already. It’s getting ridiculous.

--You think the Astros take for-ever to make seemingly obvious decisions the Devil Rays are taking their sweet time with a couple that seem fairly obvious. First they sat Elijah Dukes a few games, but need to just go ahead and release or give him a month vacation to take care of his personal business. Last month that business including threatening the lives of his estranged wife and children including a text picture of a gun sent to her. Now it’s come out that he fathered a child with a 17-year-old foster kid that was living with his stepgrandmother. So yeah, the kid’s got major problems not even talking about his 5-51 stretch that has led to a .193 average overall. Then there’s Edwin Jackson whose problems are on the field. He’s 0-8 with an 8.20 ERA and despite a last start that lasted all of 1/3rd of an inning manager Joe Maddon says he’ll be starting come Monday. Maddon, “It hasn’t all been bad – we have a tendency to focus on the bad all the time.” Uh, yeah because well ummm 0-8, 8.20 ERA.

--BradyFan83 is back at it this time with some love for Michael Vick..."I underthrew him a bone"


Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Mike James for Juwan Howard?! Thank you Minnesota.

Dear Kobe Bryant,

Please shut the f’ up!

Sincerely,
Everyone

--Four words: Triumph at the Tonys.


--Your underage drunk of the week comes to us from Antioch, California. There 2-year-old Julian Mayorga was at an Applebee’s with his mom. Little Julian wanted apple juice and the waiter took his covered, plastic sippy cup to the bartender who promptly filled the cup with margarita. Smartly they have the apple juice and margarita mix in the same looking plastic containers. So Julian starts slamming his cup down and mommy notices he starts making funny faces and began cursing about how life sucks and bit**** are the root of all evil (presumably). Mommy then noticed that his sippy cup smelled like triple sec and tequila. She was cool about it at the restaurant. Soon after they left little Julian started getting drowsy and like a true first-time drinker ended his night by vomiting. Mom took him to the hospital and he slept it off and the restaurant is taking care of the medical bills. Personally I think they should offer him free margaritas for life once he turns 21, but that’s just me. Everyone has one of those tequila nights that ends up with you swearing off tequila for the rest of your life, but usually that doesn’t happen before pre-K.

--Holy crap, Flight of the Conchords is hilarious!!! And what the hell was that Entourage?

--In news that will make Marc Vandermeer’s day…Buzz Donuts are on the horizon. Each donut contains about 50 mg. of caffeine, which is absorbed by the intestines eliminating the off taste. It’s basically a cup of coffee manufactured into your donut making oh so more healthy for you.


--Yeah, this guy isn't very good at his job...


--This is a great idea that I can’t believe I didn’t make millions off of sooner. A Singapore company is coming out with Whatever and Anything. Anything is a carbonated soda that comes in six flavors ranging from Cola to Cloudy Lemon. Whatever is a non-carbonated tea in six flavors like White Grape and Jasmine Green Tea. The catch is you have no idea which of those flavors you’re going to get when you pick up a can of Whatever or Anything. Genius.

--What do you do when you hire a prostitute and she dies on you? Probably freak the f’ out like this 39-year-old guy in Lake City, Washington did. The guy’s weekend started off with the prostitute, pot and alcohol. So far, so good until he ran out of beer. So dude decides to go to 7-11 to get more while the 47-year-old lady of the night decided to take a bath. So he comes back and she’s still bathing. He patiently waits 15 minutes presumably yelling through the door that he’s not paying for bath time. Finally he walks in and she’s dead. He started slapping her trying to bring her back to life, but as we know slapping is not as productive as oh say, CPR. So begins a three-day stretch in which the guy doesn’t know what the hell to do. He first decides to drink heavily then he decides to start digging a hole for her, but thinks better of it. Then he fills the tub up with cold water to slow down the body’s decomposition. Finally he does the smart thing and calls his employer. Huh? Whatever, his boss shows up and they decide it’s best to call the cops. Then we find cool cops who aren’t going to charge the guy with anything, “Why add insult to injury? He admitted he picked up a prostitute and this woman ultimately died. At that time, it wasn’t appropriate or prudent for the officers to…make an arrest or file charges.”

--I’m not gonna watch, but I’m thinking Comedy Central’s Lil’ Bush is just a Lil’ stupid.

--New White Stripes this week!!!!


--Sensational or Scary Sherri Martel has passed.

--For the first time in a long time I didn’t watch a UFC PPV. In case you missed it last Saturday afternoon Rich Franklin beat Yushin Okami who had beat Mike Swick in Houston last time out. Forrest Griffin got a much needed win. One of my favorites, Ed Herman, also picked up a win. Can’t wait to see Nate and Gray go at it Thursday then the finals along with BJ vs. Jens on Saturday.

--A professional Japanese soccer player was arrested last week on suspicion of having sex with a 15-year-old. Naoya Kikuchi, 22, admitted to the act and that he knew her age. Apparently they had relations in a parked car and Naoya accidentally left his wallet behind and the girl was nice enough to show the cops the guy’s driver’s license. Apparently Naoya tried to give her $82.00 in cash and forgot his wallet in…wait for it…wait for it…the basket of her bicycle.

Umm, Justin kicked this off of his European tour?!

--Congratulations to 6th grader Matt Porter for winning end-of-the-year school awards from his teachers. Matty won “Sir Clowns-a-Lot” and “Most Likely Not To Have Children.” Yeah, his parents aren’t happy and say the son needs counseling for the embarrassment. The school has offered it, but the two sides haven’t agreed who should do the counseling. The parents want Dr. Melfi while the school wants the more economical Dr. Nick.

--Oh Tennessee when will you ever learn? We have a new candidate for Mother of the Year. Mommy and male companion, 26 years her elder (61), were driving around with mom’s 6-year-old in Chattanooga when they got a hankerin’ for some grub so they stopped at a Cracker Barrel. Supposedly the child was misbehavin’ so old man Raymond Minchew took the boy out to the car and tied him up good so he couldn’t make no mo’ trouble. The man went back into the restaurant and the pair finished their meal. To their surprise the police were curious as to why they found a 6-year-old sweating his little ones off in the car. They were both charged with cruelty to a child and oh yeah, the cops also found a gun in the car. These are your fans, Vince. Good luck with that.

--This is how you end a club fight. Florida offensive lineman Ronnie Wilson got into it with some guy at club back in April. Then they went outside and Ronnie went to his car and busted out an AK-47 and squeezed off some rounds in the air. Fight over. Legal fight now underway.
Ak-47 and wifey.

--C’mon Daytime Emmys you can’t have a tie for Outstanding Drama Series. Guiding Light and The Young and the Restless tied. Good Morning America and Today Show were the only nominees for Morning Show and of course, they tied. What’s the f’in point Daytime Emmys.

--Damn you Shield for taking a week off.

--Since my paper money job and radio job are taking up most of my time I haven’t been watching many movies, but did check out Pan’s Labyrinth. Good stuff. Probably great stuff if, beforehand, you partake in “good stuff.”

--I’m sure you’re Sopranos’d out by now, but put me down for being satisfied with the ending. You should be blown away or surprised, but that’s David Chase for you and if you’ve watched the show through the years ending it like this shouldn’t have been all that shocking. You also shouldn’t have to watch an ending multiple times to “get it”, but I think you will if you watch it a coupla more times.

Questions, comments or if you can tell me why dogs have to die…RIP Percy…coolest Chow ever…

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Purple Shoes!

Where were these shoes when I was in 8th grade? In 1967, these chunky heeled shoes were all the rage. We wore them with our neon colored mini dresses and bright tights. I would have died and gone to heaven if I could have had purple shoes!

I had the perfect hot pink dress that just cried out for these shoes. I would have worn them with matching pink tights, or maybe yellow ones..... Leave it to me to find the perfect shoes 40 years too late! Of course, I no longer wear a size 5 1/2 shoe, nor do I wear mini skirts, but purple is still my favorite color. I know you understand.

See these shoes and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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1940's Chenille Robe

Cozy, comfy, snug, and secure - that's how I feel when I wear a vintage chenille robe. Made from soft cotton, chenille was first popular for bedspreads. And a robe like this gets better each time you wash it.

But how can you be sure its vintage? Well, this one comes with the original cotton filled shoulder pads. You can't get more Joan Crawford than that! And, it's new, old stock, with the original tags still attached!

See this robe and more at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion .

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Shake Your Rump

the times they are a changin' at the station and if you soon hear me on the night shift then you will soon see the diatribes get updated much more often. if you don't hear me then, well, we'll see. either way i'll get back to it with one next tuesday. first of many or beginning of the end, who the hell knows?

can you believe adam clanton took my job? what a jerk.



just kidding clanton. i know the expertly accurate chronicle article was the fault of that guy who enjoys covering men's gymnastics and figure skating in addition to bashing quality television programming.

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Always Updated and In The Know

--Thanks for finding me here. I know it's not easy seeing as how the station decided to hide the blogs in a slow rotating window on the page that has no controls displayed so you have to wait through the b.s. to get to what you want and that's the 'tribes y'all. Brilliant.

MVP, Rookie of the Year, and 100 Losses…Fan-tastic!!!

A hundred losses is probably a bit much, but who the hell knows. I mean it took until June 3 rd for someone in the front office to realize Jason Lane is worthless. He passed through waiver unclaimed? No way. Jason called it "an eye opener". It took that to open your eyes? So you've been going up to bat with your eyes closed because that would explain a lot? Let's see how many more months Brian Moehler and Orlando Palmeiro get. The manager has sat Mark Loretta all three times on the day after he gets a 4-hit game. What kind of f'n sense does that make? What really scares me as someone who is always looking long-term is that these guys still aren't double-digits out of first in the crappy Central. So Phil and Tim might just keep sticking with these garbage players and think they'll turn it around and then it'll be on. Yeah, it ain't happening. These aren't the Astros of recent years. These are the Astros of 2007 and they are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

--Scott Elarton is 0-6 with an 8.58 ERA in his career vs. the Devil Rays. That's the highest ERA against Tampa of any pitcher with at least 20 innings.

--The Rangers are now 1-8-1 in road series. The lone series win being in Houston, of course.

--In what is surely a sign of things to come…Before making his postgame comments the other night David Wells announced his words were being presented by pokerstars.com. No mention of the $100 pokerstars.com owes Danny Vara for the b.s. higher full house he lost his last penny to.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Anything happen on Sopranos this week? Sucks to see Sil gone, but after he made that kill at the beginning you kind of figured that was his last hurrah. One of the best scenes ever was Tony and Sil doing the slow-mo Raging Bull punches while the music played. Classic. Good time to go toy shopping Bobby. Loved hearing The Doors' "When the Music's Over". Very nice. How about Man-genius with wifey at Artie's restaurant. Weren't we all rooting for AJ to find his belt so that he could end his crybaby role once and for all. The only thing I was hoping more for was seeing Furio come back to take care of Phil. You had to really be paying attention, but on the marquee outside the Bing was a promotion for the Holyfield-Lewis PPV. I can't believe we have just one more episode left. No excuse for this series not going out with a two-hour finale.

--I was late to Weeds, but just finished up season 2. Best thing ever on Showtime, with the exception of any scene involving Sarah Shahi in The L Word.

--LeBron last Thursday – unbelievable. Boobie last Saturday – incredible. Cavaliers in the Finals – Probably forgettable. Either way LeBron is in it so you gots to watch. What he did in Game 5 was one of the greatest performances in postseason history regardless of sport. So much fun on Saturday, and really that entire series, watching Daniel Gibson rock and/or roll all over the Pistons. I watched him play every one of his years at Jones. I watched him cry his eyes out as a sophomore when his boys lost to Dion Dowell and Texas City. We are so privileged here in Houston to see some of these guys at the high school level before they make it big. Daniel has made it big.

--So many does LeBron go for if his baby boy happens to be born on the same day as one of the Finals games?

--Hell's Kitchen is back, baby! Top Chef is back this week as well! The Next Food Network Star also returns – yawn.

--Young Racer X will be played by Scott Porter/Jason Street from Friday Night Lights who can't make it through a shoot accident-free apparently.

--Seriously MTV Movie Awards…Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead Men's Chest = Best Movie?!?!

--I'm curious to see how well it does at the box office and how good it will be, but The Simpsons movie comes out July 27 th. Green Day will have the theme and will appear in the movie.

--Promising news…Denise Richards is going to play a stripper in A Beautiful Life.

--The NHL is thinking about going with a bigger net?! Al-Jazeera got turned down for a Stanley Cup Finals press credential?! Take interest where you can get interest NHL. I'm sure if you put the Finals on Al-Jazeera they'd get better ratings than being on Versus.

--No, it wasn't a dream. An American reclaimed the hot dog eating record from Kobayashi. Joey Chestnut devoured 59 and ½ dogs in 12 minutes over the weekend at some mall in Arizona. Kobayashi's record was 54 and ¼. Probably not right for me to look forward to Memorial Day for the NCAA lacrosse championship game and July 4th for the Coney Island hot dog eating contest.

--Natalee Holloway's mom and Jon Benet's dad are dating?!

--2006 saw 16,185 murders in the U.S. and 92,837 rapes. F'n disgusting.

--Chad Johnson is going to race a horse on June 9th at River Downs. He’ll start from the outside rail going 11/16 of a mile while the horse goes from the inside at the eighth pole. Supposedly this will create a photo finish.

--Niles/Sideshow Bob's brother/David Hyde Pierce is gay?! No way. Is the earth still revolving?

--Lost Season 3 on DVD will be out on December 11th. Unfortunately Season 4 doesn't start until after the next Super Bowl.
That coffin we saw in the finale would have had to been a lot longer to fit in Maggie's sticks.

--Thanks for going to 12 oz. bottles sugar-free Red Bull, but why stop there? I mean 12 oz. are good, but wouldn't 24 oz. be twice as good?

--There was a recent item about Jimmy Fallon in some newspaper the other day talking about how he was at the Kentucky Derby and how he partied at a frat house the night before and was hungover as hell. Okay, no surprise, apparently for a terrible actor, an all right comedian, he's a great, down to earth guy. Anyway, the point is the story called him "The Almost Famous Star." Yeah, when I think of Almost Famous, I think Jimmy Fallon's star vehicle. Huh? How about going with "former SNLer" or "Weekend Update guy" or "guy who can't keep a straight face"?
Stillwater Rules!

--UFL huh? Good luck with that. At least we can follow David Carr's progress.

--Darren Arofonosky is going to do a more sci-fi version of Noah's Ark?! That's promising. I can't wait to find an hour and a half to watch The Fountain. If you haven't seen Requiem of a Dream or Pi you probably should although Requiem will make you cringe and Pi will make your head hurt.

--Nothing like a good American flag story in between Memorial Day and July 4 th, which usually are kind of associated with this country. In Raleigh there are a couple of stores along Capital Boulevard and these stores proudly fly American flags out front. The Fiddle Stix (don't know what they sell, but great name) has seven flags while some auto dealership flies 10. The Raleigh city code only allows three. Huh? How do you place a limit on how many American flags you can fly? The stores have until Sunday to take them down or they face a $500 fine which will presumably be used to buy Russian and Korean flags. Supposedly this enforcement is all part of a clean up effort for Capital Boulevard. Whatever.

--The competition continues to heat up for Father of the Year honors. This time we stay in-state and go to Goliad where a father was trying to make it to Houston for his son's graduation. Well, that sounds boring so I'm sure Omar Cruz Garza has something up his sleeve. Sleeve, no, but in the pickup he was driving yes. Garza had a DVD player, power tools, a camera, and for good measure a safe. Garza, who is on parole until Friday, clearly had no choice but to offer officers (pulled over for speeding) a fake ID when asked for identification. Talk about entrapment, geez. (Side note: When using fake IDs, make sure that unlike Garza you don't have your real name tattooed across your back, makes it easier for you. Also when stealing a safe make sure the fake ID you're using doesn't have papers with the same name in the stolen safe.) Oh yeah, the truck was reported stolen 12 hours before Garza was stopped and all of those items were from a residential burglary. He also had some cocaine with him and actually told the police it was a graduation present for his son in Houston.

Questions, comments or if you remember the time when you brought an airline bottle of alcohol to your high school cafeteria and it spilled forcing an immediate evacuation of the table leaving it for the freshmen to deal with.....and the worst part was you were a substitute teacher at the time.....just a joke Dobie.....

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Vintage Marimekko Knits

I've always loved the distinctive look of Finnish company Marimekko's bold patterns. What I didn't realize was that this company has been designing their clothing line since the 1950's. Did you know Jackie Kennedy wore Marimekko? Recently, I was lucky enough to purchase two rare vintage 1980's wool sweater dresses from a local estate. Both dresses were designed by Marja Suna about 1984. Suna joined Marimekko in 1979 and was hired to work on the company's knitwear. It was Suna's job to make the knitwear collections consistent with the distinctive Marimekko look and she achieved this with patterned sweater knits.

Both dresses feature an oversized cut with deep dolman sleeves. Soft and cuddly, they look great belted or not.

If you're a devotee of Marimekko, don't miss your chance to own one of these dresses, available now at Couture Allure Vintage Fashion!

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